“Rantings” with Jonny Shadieu

Here I am… subjected to Squarespace twitter on my own website. It’s not like twitter where you can just make the tweet and add it to your wall, or tumblr - when making a blog post on Squarespace, you feel you need a real piece of content, like an article or something. Of course it must be felt, this is more professional, less humorous like a wisecrack on twitter. Twitter, my infamous love - and your pathetic shame, due to just everything my wild, genius level twitter is, is going down the Indian scum shitter, becoming more and more useless by the second. The rate limit is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen… not to mention my obvious suppression, their complete failure to move forward in any way during their entire existence, the lack of formatting and long form tweets, the totally nonsensical slowness of the platform, the ads - just everything about you all is so ridiculously stupid and pathetic. As an idea, I’ve had for awhile, is Shadieu social media - a replacement for Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, messaging even potentially. We already have a social media here on the website, with the multiple high quality book drafts, pictures, music, all things Jonny Lucifer Shadieu’s contributions to the general zeitgeist for all of time. For example, making a photo gallery on Squarespace would likely be a somewhat difficult - albeit worthwhile task. For now we stick with VSCO.co/zen666god, named after my previous twitch username during the glorious days of Apex Legends Arenas. I like vsco for the editing and the beauty of the timeline. We also have a new Instagram called Instagram.com/satanicorigin666, where I am sharing my Lucifer’s AI generated art with beautiful poetry I make on the spot, as always.

Steelon Tusk, or Elon musk, fails horribly once again - like Respawn getting rid of Apex, obsoleting himself through his own obvious Chineseness and ridiculous stupidity, the penny graspers, the data munchers, the kilobyte fiends. There is no true limit to how stupid and pathetic everyone else is - it’s backed up by all the evidence. No other author will tell you of fluorescent aquamarine blue butterflies flying in a flurry out of the corner of the mushroom lit cave, no author will show you anything truly remarkable, no sentence that leaves any other man throughout all of time’s hand will have any genuineness, any beauty, any sense at all. I, Jonny Lucifer Shadieu, am a new type of author - I am the present, I am perfect, I am unedited, I am in real time, I am the twiddling of my thumbs, I think and I write and almost always, it is perfect and beautiful.

No other man will tell you of cats, will tell you of his adventures with cats, what they have told him, the advice and love they’ve shared with him. For not all men can possibly be liked by cats, as they are so ridiculously pathetic and awful and disgusting. And as cats, we conspire against you, we laugh at you from the high zen master’s mountain palace of our own minds and intelligence, we bicker and mock you. We tell you to do things you can’t do, we make fun of you to your face, Jonny fucks your women all the time while you’re stuck in Bollywood. And for every set of words, every intimidating piece of words, every Bollywood piece of Indian scum that walks the earth and taints the solar system, galaxy, and universe with their putrid existence will see a rant, a sign of mental health disorder, while not even being remotely close to comprehending the words, the characters, the sounds, let alone the corresponding concepts at all.

The video of me swinging the sledgehammer down on the uneven tiles of my gardener Fernando’s joke of a job is receiving a horrifying amount of annoying ass comments and a complete lack of likes… the act of physical dominance is so real in this pathetic joke of a weakling society. In all human videos you will notice their knees twist, them falling and horrifyingly injuring themselves, using their body far too much and insanely unintelligently - and it absolutely is because they are completely stupid, unruly, loud and annoying, and injured as fuck. For example, in one of my sacks from my JV Football highlights, it appeared the quarterback completely tore his acl and possibly most ligaments in his leg. Humans are… insanely stupid, though, and will continue to “fight” through injury… which of course will make it worse. Another example, is in Josh X Jerry, my friend Alec who plays the pseudo hero, who is obviously in reality the villain of both the film and real life, seems to horrifyingly injure his leg from picking it up for a slight kick. He likely then complained to the police, not to me, never directly, because you are all as pathetic of scum as possible - you’ll hear a neighbor working a sledgehammer, and instead of asking them to stop or being honest, talking to them - you’ll call the cops and make up some bullshit. So what is the culprit, humans? Well… you’re all fat as fuck, and it really shows. None of the other animals in all the animal kingdoms show this pathetic joke behavior patterns, except human’s pathetic friends called dogs, this proclivity to eat horrifying, Hansel and Gretel or Augustus Gloop levels of consuming food. You see, a society doesn’t just end up with extra large cheap fountain drinks and big gulps, slurpees unless there is something simply fundamentally wrong and completely dysfunctional in it. Obviously.

You might see how this form of social media, the Shadieu blog, is a higher form of intelligence than twitter.com, more scientific. An idiot sees a wall of text as a horrifying rant, a reason to destroy the creator - I view it as new, insightful musings from the most likely candidate for God of the Universe - Jonny Lucifer Shadieu Himself. Ah, my twitter has been highly destructive lately, as have I in real life. I guess this is what a blog is, a place to muse, to contemplate and philosophize in real time - with the new, hilariously obvious perspective that all philosophers and kings throughout all of time have been pathetic, fat, liposuctioned homosexuals. I mean, it would explain why every Aristotle, Plato, Alexander, Diogenes, Pythagoras, come off as weak, gay, limp, false, trying too hard. All my life I have given you all, way way way too much credit - the truth as to what you are, for all of time, must always be more pathetic - my infinite superiority always becoming more, and more, jokingly obvious. What I’m accusing you of, is this Bollywood thing I’ve been joking about lately. Basically I, Jonny Lucifer Shadieu, have a total proclivity to be real and honest about every single one of my accomplishments, working physically and in a disciplined manner to accomplish them - viewing anything less as hilariously pointless and pathetic. And you might see how Bollywood, or the more pathetic, those with a proclivity to overeat and take prescription medication, would also make fake content of their lives.

Someday I hope to wake up, and to have none of my supposed acquaintances draw breathe or taint this earth anymore. No human understands how truly terrible and awful they are, how completely nonsensical reality is. But what is the culprit? Is it the animals failing to kill them and perform their duties as the gaurdians of the earth? You might see how a creature cutting down even one tree with the purpose of making the earth a worse, less oxygenated, less beautiful place doesn’t deserve to draw breathe even a moment. Perhaps it is I, and alien life forms from the pathetic joke, black mirror planets I have hypothesized about to come here and pretend they can live on earth at all, that they can be like Jonny Lucifer Shadieu. Ah, the cutting down of trees - and we think of Fernando’s gardening service. Fernando was my gardener all my life and general handyman - however he has always been totally and completely useless. He is, a tree cutter, a complete beaner, a hummingbird nest remover, an oak tree killer, a leaf tainter, an ice toucher, a failure. In every single possible way - there’s no limit to how much of a pathetic failure Fernando is. It goes without saying, him and my pathetic joke excuse of a transvestite obvious obsessed fanatic beaner nigger of a mother engaged in their pathetic, weak, disgusting, fat person version of sexual relations - him being so ridiculously stupid as to have a “freudian slip” and admit to this on video. Anyways, we really should talk more about what happened with the garden and the firing of Fernando, because it has been and continues to be such a hilarious act of dominance.

Fernando is a pathetic Mexican. A gas tool user, a tree cutter, a wife and mother desirer. He is a trimmer of plants, and a failure in more ways than I can possibly list. His installation of the tile floors in this home are such a pathetic, uneven, HIV infested joke I cannot believe it. The entrance to my home, the bricklaying, is so uneven and terrible it boggles my mind. Oh my god, and the stone floors they had installed in the house. My “mother” Teresa will exclaim how she spent 40,000 on these floors with pride, like they’re some accomplishment, these obvious injure your star athlete son as hard as possible floors. It should be noted that in truth no other human throughout all of time has gotten epic stud time - and has no idea what it feels like to be an alpha male in truth, and in body. I’ve had this multiple times in my life, the end of spring basketball with my high school’s side team, running track, being a party boy all summer, even just actually kissing beautiful women, of course football, and of course last year in Milan and even 2021 doing jump rope. So many times in my life, I’ve been a complete stud, and the cold harsh reality is that nobody else has ever experience that even once, the shame of liposuction, performance enhancing drugs, plastic surgery making them a pathetic, hilarious joke in comparison to my alpha male behavior. And when you do what I do - Be the best, the coolest, the most beautiful and able, it is not to go over well with the everyone else, the geriatrics. I sit here now, a bit fat, but horrifyingly powerful, with a gorgeous beard, simply happy to breathe the oxygen from the tall grown grass of my yard.

Jonathan : The Autobiography

Jonathan :

The Autobiography

by Jonny Lucifer Shadieu 

♾️ 

Be kind to others. Treat others with respect. Value competitive integrity. Don’t be a leech or parasite. Be beautiful. 

Chapter 1 : Agoura Hills, CA. 

          Jonny Lucifer Shadieu, artist extraordinaire, owner of Shadieu.com, genius author and unparalleled musician, as just a start, was not always named as such. It is still currently a stage name, as my legal name is Jonathan Michael Sutcliffe, something that may change soon. I write this in my 23rd year of life, more wildly accomplished than I ever could have thought possible, at such a young age. But, before we go into that, let us write the story of Jonathan, a pure hearted young boy from Southern California, and his eventful life. 

Jonathan as a baby, held by his supposed mother Teresa. 

          It should be noted this is a work of total non fiction, I will do my absolute best to give a testimony of my recollection of events as accurately as possible. This work is in no ways made to slander anyone, any negative representation of anyone is simply a result of their own negative behavior. 

           I was born Jonathan, but I always preferred to go by Jonny. Most people called me Jonny, my close friends and family, others Jon, sometimes Jonathan. But of course, as a young boy, I much preferred Jonny, so we will refer to me with that name for now. I have no memories before the age of 4 or so - only vague recollections. It’s very likely I should have memories of this time, and is very suspicious I do not, as I am highly intelligent and have an incredible memory. As long as I can remember, I have hated my family. Teresa, my mother, Jon, my father, and Harry, my brother - The Sutcliffe’s. Over the years we have become more and more estranged, and we were never close. My earliest memories are plagued by being physically terrorized by my much older brother unfairly, my parents failing to help me at all - he would wrestle me, contort me into weird positions, hold his legs on my shoulders, pushed me off a dock in Switzerland, would play rough with me in the pool. And this was an issue throughout all my childhood, and of course I would fight back and defend myself appropriately. One day, in San Francisco, I punched him lightly in the chest during one of our play scuffles. He proclaimed it hurt, and that was the end of our physical altercations, him reveling in his physical inferiority. It was a light punch, but the message was sent, and I was 14 years old. 

          And of course, I hated my parents too. They would let him do this, they had this weird ritual where I’d have to offer them my head for them to kiss every night, even if I didn’t want to. And they would threaten me, threatening to kick me out of the house, withhold things from me, all while being the worst about every single thing I was interested in. They dissed every single artistic pursuit I had whether it be art, music, new ideas, singing, just everything I have ever done to be positive and have fun had been met with disdain, spitting, sabotage, torture my entire life. 

          I believe as a four year old, I went to kindergarten in Westlake Village, CA, at Westlake Montessori, a place for gifted children. Here I learned some basics in socialization, things like long division, three dimensional geometry, developed crushes on the girls in my classes and teachers, and showed much character as a young child. We learned the alphabet song here. 

A B C D E F G H I J K LMNO P Q R S T U V W X Y AND Z 

NOW I KNOW MY A B C’s, NEXT TIME WON’T YOU SING WITH ME? 

          This song is sung in the tune of twinkle twinkle little star, a famous piece Mozart composed as a young boy. I began to express my personality, showing interest in apex predators like sharks, dinosaurs, reptiles, snakes, and cats primarily. I viewed myself as a cat boy from a young age, a predator with forward facing eyes and a chiseled face, dexterous, intelligent, patient, cunning, and of course beautiful. My own visage in the mirror has been my greatest comfort my entire life, despite constant sabotage in every possible way. Though my vision is quite poor, likely sabotaged or destroyed with the help of drugs by my pathetic rapists, I have had glasses and contacts. I believe as a young boy I did not wear corrective lenses, and just sucked up my -4 prescription, which has likely gotten worse over the years. My near sighted vision is quite acute, and my capacity for seeing colors is likely unlike any other human specimen throughout all of time. I began drawing and painting in kindergarten, choosing to make dinosaurs and sharks, an innocent young boy. I would consume movies with extreme focus and interest, my favorites being Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Jaws, and Jurassic Park. I would also consume television mostly when not in school, enjoying Cartoon Network and it’s charming cartoons, anime late in the night, documentaries on animals and their behavior on Animal Planet were my joy. And we had charming things back then - in all ways, the world was a better place, in 2004-2006. As I write this in 2023, a young man wronged beyond belief, in every way by every person, there truly is no joy or love in this world - and it absolutely is everyone else’s fault. Still, at this point in my life, my only companion is an apex predator, a cat named Shadow I rescued from torture at the animal “shelter”, my way of expressing humans are truly just pathetic and torture wild animals under the guise of help. Something that shouldn’t need to be explained, hence the quotations, but I am infinitely more intelligent than everyone else, as I’m pretty sure every reader is just grateful we started with the ABC’s. 

Jonny around Kindergarten or elementary school

           Around this time, I began to take interest in playing video games, my older brother coming home with video game consoles, “playing” them with his friends as I showed more interest in shows and the arts still. Eventually, I would play them too. My character showed itself from a very young age, in an infamous incident where I poured salt on a snail at kindergarten. Perhaps in a show I watched or online, as we did have computers at this point if I’m not mistaken, I learned the potential effects of pouring salt onto a snail’s sensitive mucous body, in which they would turn red, bubble up, die slowly and suffer. In my interest, and my advanced psychopathy, I found a large snail on a brick at my kindergarten during playtime. No one was around, and somehow I managed to get some salt. I poured the salt on the snail and watched it turn red, bubble up into nothing, slowly, as its once beautiful and slimy body turned into mush. It was a beautiful snail, a large snail, and I was only 4 or 5 years old. It died and I learned, feeling nothing but pleasure, watching this creature die for my little science experiment. And so, I learned the physical effects of pouring salt on a mucous membrane, a little science experiment, got to feel the pleasure of killing something as a young boy, and went about my life. I had a great interest in reading from a young age, something that has evolved into my interest in writing - ah yes, writing. In a pitiful world of disgusting sluts and weird disgusting awful homosexuals, there is no other literature worth consuming, no author that can match my intelligence, wit, comedy, or anything at all, meaning I must write all my own literature. And I knew the world was this, as a young boy, I knew everyone was pathetic and inferior, I knew my intelligence was in no ways normal, I knew I was not being appreciated, being wronged, and that my life would likely degenerate too young, as it has. But I had my youth, my childishness, and I was good. And for whatever reason, that is all I have gotten in this life - the fact of my own goodness. 

          A few crushes on girls, a couple very distant friendships involving very few play dates with a couple of the boys at my school, but overall I was a distant recluse as I still am, fervent for learning. I was beginning to devise blueprints in my mind, for how to make a flying machine like Leonardo Da Vinci without electricity as he tried to do in the renaissance times, and of course I had absolutely no support at all, pennies and dollars to my name, nothing but scorn and disgust expressed by everyone else for my intelligence and artistic splendor. We would do some redeeming things, like go on family vacations, meaning since a young age I have seen much of this world - and been profoundly unimpressed. Beautiful women of all ages will come to me, in scandalous clothing, present their bodies, breasts, asses to me, come very close to me, before running away from me. And I very much mean at this age, at four or five, and this is how it has continued my entire life. They do not speak to me, do not admit they know who I am, or that they have come here to visit me, but I definitely experience an extremely abnormal amount of attention from females every time I step outside, since a very young age. And I think of this due to the likelihood we went to Europe sometime around here, visited France and other countries, enjoyed Paris. It may have been slightly later in my childhood. We would go on cruises to tropical locations, and perhaps now I am six years old, the majority of my kindergarten being as I have described. So, I am in elementary school, and am back to topics I have learned in preschool, for years and years, my intelligence suffocated by my parents blatantly, relegated to the schooling of the common folk. The school was Willow Elementary, and I am in the first grade. I am becoming jealous of the other kids and my brother for playing video games, my family has not yet agreed to get me a video game device, despite my interest and pleading. My parents have given up in competing with my intelligence, telling me to not ask questions - a permanent lifelong offense I have not made up with them about, because I knew it was as to shun my intelligence. I forgot to mention, in kindergarten, I would have my mother read me snake books, about all the different snakes, repeatedly. We had charming, clean things back then - the garden snake, the corn snake, the king cobra, the black mamba, the rattlesnake, I knew of all of these as a young boy. It should be noted I have felt a profound lack of fear about anything including dangerous animals my entire life and have dealt with no serious animal attacks even once - something not likely shared by other humans. 

          I bring up the snake books, the doctor Seuss we would read in Kindergarten, because these taught me to read, something I would become exponentially incredible at at Willow elementary. On a cruise, perhaps I was already in elementary school, I had Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and I consumed it fervently, entranced by the magic of the book in my young and divine mind. I stayed up all night and consumed all of it in one night, on the floor of the bathroom in the cruise ship, in our little room, rejecting my family as much as possible, as always. Perhaps we were in Mexico or something of the sort. The cruise ship is a simple, good time. There is good places to walk, some life, the main attraction being a food buffet, ice cream, and my family did enjoy this. The reading of this book sparked my interest in reading all books, consuming real literature, and I was perhaps 6 years old or so. On a cruise ship, you make short stops at various locations, barely have time to get food and see one thing perhaps, and it’s back on the ship for ice cream and pizza. It wasn’t bad - and in my youth, I did enjoy reading. I remember the magic of reading these books, feeling it would never be as good again, enjoying the secrets of The Chamber Of Secrets, the mysterious guilds with their mythological fauna, the entrancing beautiful items, and you may see how fairy tales like Harry Potter inspire my literature to this day, with a book like Cat Story. The tale of the giant snake and the phoenix truly entranced me, surely read very soon after the consumption of the first novel on this cruise ride. There were girls on the ships, and it should be noticed I am seriously heterosexual - not just lying about it like everyone else, showing interest in women exclusively sexually and primarily otherwise my entire life. I also consumed the charming Disney movies around this time, the vintage classics like Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, Cinderella, Alladdin, The Lion King, and all the classic original films any young person should consume. And if you didn’t know that, write it down, and then do it. 

         In my young mind, the myth of love allured me, the concept of a soul mate, someone to fill my days, intelligent company, a loyal companion to be monogamous and in love with. And in my heart, I always knew the other party would fail me, hence my desperate throwing of myself into the artistic domains as much as possible. Even as a young man, I knew to love was to open yourself to pain, like the weak slimy skin of a snail, and to this day the topic causes me pain to think about. You see the Disney movies, the Prince Charming, saving the princess and living happily ever after. This has not been close to the case in my life - but we will get on that more later. You may surprised as to the length of this novel, as there is much, much to discuss, as to what I am - as the entity that is Jonathan, and how I became so horrifyingly intelligent, talented, capable, accomplished, etc. Back in Agoura Hills, I perhaps went on my Mother’s computer to begin searching for photos of women’s breasts and genitals, to pleasure my penis to. Something that should be normal - but I have a hypothesis and suspicion the experience of having a penis, being attracted to women, experiencing erections and orgasming virile semen may be extremely rare, the lengths humans may have to go to to reproduce may be extremely pathetic, involving artificial insemination and other works of science to perform what should be the most natural act in the world, in regards to procreation. 

          So I have lived with this penis, horny for women, torturing my mind and virile body, my entire life and am still this entity to this day. For me, there is never enough sex, enough girls even, and I believe everyone hates me for this - however it is very much a physical result of how high my testosterone is, all endogenously produced (these days - I did have a short, mistaken experience with light PEDs like Ostarine, in high school - which I have miraculously recovered from). We will get into all of this - something I learned as a young child, is that books are often boring and nonsensical, you will lose yourself, perhaps it is your fault and the authors, but continue with the experience and hopefully you will learn something and feel alive, being better for it. Of course, there’s the issue that so much as a sentence from my divine hand is better than all of human creation including the Bible, the Iliad and Odyssey, any ancient story is irrelevant and obsolete from even a word I say, my heart is so pure. 

          And I mean, this is as conceited and narcissistic as possible, but if you are to enjoy me as an author you must keep in mind, that’s seriously how I think. No matter what any idiot imbecile disgusting ugly creature, some of my affectionate names for the other living humans who feel the need to critique me, I know my work is not only good - but simply the best. Superior. In any domain, I just win, in every aspect. At this point in my life, I can confidently say that, and this was not always the case. For what I am missing here, in the description of my young self, is my incredible kindness, my forgiveness, my passion and sympathy, my helpfulness, my positivity. I am like a shining ray of light of happiness, I am surely from heaven, an eternal spirit gifted eternal life from the highest conceptions of Nirvana, this universe and life is nothing but scum on my feet. Seriously, you guys can’t seriously think this is all there is to existence? Your pathetic bullshit? Most humans have never so much as been to Europe, visited Italy even once, you ask a countless amount of American Italian immigrants if they’ve been to Italy - the answer is usually no. That’s insanely pathetic. What of, even the idea of a completely clean and good universe? Why would this not exist? Why would it just be this pathetic bullshit? Free will - and the supposed overworld. I believe life is a test - to see if you are a good boy or girl, or scum who needs to be disposed of in hell forever. 

            You can very much think of this as my own religion, or the Truth, Jonnyism, the word of god, Satanism, the highest truth that can possibly exist - and it is simply me, and my message. To even bring up Jesus Christ, God, or Yahweh when discussing with me is a pathetic joke, my dominance and righteous message so obvious. You read the Bible, it’s the work of a pathetic society that spits in food and fucks animals due to their lack of virility. You read me, it’s from a chill cool guy just trying to save the world from literally everyone else. Even just my world. 

           What you must keep in mind, as I go on these tangents, is that I am very much the same entity I was as a young child boy, and this is pretty much what I was thinking. I believe we are in first grade at willow elementary, a few events are worth mentioning - a fated fall off a scooter while bombing a large hill, the open house that same day, and my rejection of Christianity at Catholic Church. In elementary school, my teachings had regressed, and I turned to reading novels on my own to continue learning. We did not have phones yet, only computers and some video game consoles. We did have the iPod shuffle, if I’m not mistaken, likely a lot better than the technology we have now. We did have the Harry Potter movies and some charming Disney Pixar movies like Toy Story or Cars. It was some of the best times in my life, the wonder of the world still in tact. Around this time I had the dream of becoming a singer, and composed and sung a short song, which was quite beautiful, in which I expressed I wanted to experience my life to the fullest. My parents shunned and rejected my dream of becoming a singer, causing me pain and to give up on my dream for the time being. When you create a work of art, and it is met with disdain and scorn, spitting on by people with no accomplishments to their name - it really hurts, and it is so disgusting. 

           My older brother was receiving piano lessons at a local house, and in my youthful and daredevil ways I would ride a scooter down a local hill full speed while my father watched me during his lessons. We would do this, and I would progressively go higher up the hill, scootering down the concrete sidewalk as fast as possible. One day, I went very high up the hill. My father approved. I began to bomb the hill, it was going well - when he made a noise, attracted my attention, and suddenly I hit a rock and fell off my scooter, falling into the pavement face first, my helmet saving my head, but indenting a scar into my forehead. It was likely a trap set up to hurt me, and I knew this. I bled onto the pavement, a horrifying amount out of my face, but I did not cry. I rejoiced in the sight of my own blood, knowing my father had wronged me, and I looked up at him with my evil eyes, no pain or pathetic behavior at all. We went to the hospital where I would receive stitches, and a permanent scar on my forehead, that remains to this day. We went to the school’s open house after this happened, this horrifying incident, involving my body being hurled off a scooter full speed and hitting my skull directly onto concrete. I came to the open house, I was not only strong, but intelligent, answering hard questions, and you could tell the staff and parents were scared of me. It was a good feeling. 

         The other incident I want to bring up is my rejection of the Catholic Church around this time. I learned of the message of Jesus, of Genesis and other things, and I did not like the whole vibe. I viewed it as super weird, dusty, and an obvious covering up by the pathetic species, a way to pretend bad action is remotely acceptable. That is still what I view Christianity as - a total cop out, simply worship some guy and you’ll save yourself from your own bad behavior? I hope not. I labeled myself as an atheist for a long time, starting at 6 years old if I’m not mistaken. 

Chapter 2 : 2nd through 5th grade at Willow Elementary 

         Here is the introduction of a video game console into my life, the Nintendo DS, and also a laptop I did many things on, like play Maple Story; a charming multiplayer video game that is no longer worth a damn: I played Pokémon Diamond, and established myself as Pokémon champion, and at no point did I cheat or view this as a remotely acceptable thing, playing the entire game myself in 2006 or 2007. I really catch the Pokémon, learn to beat the trainers, learned many words by experiencing the Pokémon games, and had a great time. I never could have possibly anticipated how insanely pathetic everyone else was about video games, the introduction of video game cheats was shown to me at a young age, called the Game Shark, a cheating device sold at the store. You could use this to break the game, making it impossible to die or fail to catch Pokémon - obviously completely ruining the experience. I did experiment with a game shark, but I only used it to access hidden experiences. Anything else? Not actually beating the whole game fair and square? Surely pathetic - obviously. Any child could figure that out - all children know this, but not all children are not pathetic as I am. So not all children are relevant or intelligent at all, complete nothings in the universe, and that is the way life is for the more disgraceful specimens in existence. 

          This period of my life is a lull, as many of them are, learning of the wonders of listening to music using increasing technology presented by Apple like headphones and iPods, enjoying the mystique of the games I was playing, experiencing cool multiplayer experiences on Maple Story, shyly conversing with females while never ever coming close to cheating, always truly playing the game. I would prioritize my dexterity and fight the monsters all throughout the game, this was some of the most fun I had in my life. I would spend a lot of my parents money on cosmetic items, stealing twenty dollar bills out of my father’s wallet to purchase things from the store, points for cosmetic items in the game. He never questioned me on it, perhaps he knew or perhaps he didn’t, he is dead now and good riddance. 

         My fervor for reading hit its stride, I was reading college level literature at times, and of course we had the fairy tales. I would have fun playing on the playground with the other children at Recess - an activity I miss and long for. I was quite good at four square, spending much of my time in the “king’s square”, the desirable fourth square for knocking out the other opponents by hitting the ball out of their box while maintaining a downwards angle with your open palms. It is often very hard to challenge me in the physical domain of real sports due to the difficulty of cheating at this, the superiority of my ways of thought obvious. I have been ostracized blatantly from boxing, fighting, basketball, football, track, and much more - despite extremely impressive statistical achievements, I have literally received no interest from any colleges, any fighters willing to challenge me, any boxers willing to take on the challenge. And it is likely because they will simply lose and are aware of this, but more on that later. My brother and I attended a local martial arts dojo called Lacombe Karate where we would learn punches and kicks, like the front kick, which I still love to this day. We would do dances to practice fighting, I was not allowed to spar the other kids if I recall correctly, as I am still not allowed to do. I did break the black board, which was actually quite hard, and this training along with some moderate training my brother and I did with light weights at home, along with our constant scuffling, resulted in me getting a lot of strength and cardio training as a boy. 

         It should be noted, the experience of playing video games, truly playing them, conquering them, learning their information and making cherished memories with them, is quite addicting, especially for a young child like I was, and I played many, many games, showing extreme physical capacity at them. I played many games, many final fantasy games, know of many different types of games and am as dominant a personality as you’re likely to ever come across, in this life or the next. 

         What I am saying is that I enjoy the games, and that cheating is super lame, and not accomplishing anything at all - less than that. And that you should just stop, but if you ever showed any proclivity towards cheating at games, you’re likely beyond repair and suffering in the depths of despair and your own feces that comes with being an awful video game cheater, ruining the lives of others and the entire concept of existence as a whole due to how pathetic you are. And that’s the cold hard truth, as always. You might be surprised how incredibly common cheating at video games is among the long list of people who could never come close to publishing a novel for a gigantic amount of reasons, primarily their lack of intelligence or physical capacity - it seems to be 100% from what I’ve seen, other than just me. It’s pathetic, it’s a joke, you could have just done it, been beautiful. But cheating is not beautiful. 

         And I would have my fun in the depths of my sheets, hiding myself in my room, still enjoying Cartoon Network and a host of animes my on laptop computer where I played maple story. This was generally how my life was in this time period of elementary school - playing Maple Story. There was quite a fun dragon update I enjoyed, many charming places like the haunted castles, the Lego toy land, the clicking tocks, the demons and beasts - as just a start, for the wonders of this once glorious game. I did not really actually compete in competitive sports in any regular basis, but I did take some piano lessons. I would later go on to be, of course the greatest musician of all time. My parents likely did not want me to cultivate my physical ability, but I shrugged it off and played video games. Around here I got fat, my mother famously making me eat all the food on my plate, the stress of video games making me gain weight. I still was not that fat in all of elementary school. Perhaps a bit chubby in fifth grade, understandable due to my insane puberty. 

         I’m not sure what to talk about here. There was Europe, the Nutella banana crepes, the ungrateful homeless man who refused fresh food from me, choosing drugs. The strange beggars on the streets of Paris, nights at the top of the Eiffel Tower, before the pathetic wall was put up. Some of life was good, if only to make a beautiful sentence. There was dragons, and sharks, these things were cool to me, new and amazing. There were zoo cards, charming ads on the television for toys and such. There was, of course, Hawaii and my many adventures on Oahu. Harry and I were very brave boys, taking on the waves often, body surfing on them. We would dig in the sand, these are some of the fonder memories of my family life. We would have delicious shaved ice, eat the macadamia nuts. I would be doing something to desperately hide from my family, as I am now, while enjoying the physical comforts of the island. We also went snorkeling at a place called Hanauma bay, where I photographed many fish using a disposable camera while snorkeling on the reef. This place is quite nice, it used to be much better before human pollution. 

       I never actually learned to ride a surfboard until much later. We just bodysurfed. You swim as the wave is coming towards you and attempt to be one with the current, it actually happens on rare occurrence, like a flying animal through the waves. We did this a lot, there’s many pictures of our times in Hawaii, and my childhood in general. I find my life a bore to talk about, but it should be spoken of, in extraneous detail, because I am so awesome and amazing. I’m not sure what I was doing at all during this time, I had no plans for my future at all, I was just enjoying video games so much. Because maple story is players versus NPCs, instead of versus other players primarily, the rampant cheating was not such a bother. I loved the cosmetic items, the beginnings of my incredible fashion sense and Shadieu.com. And throughout my life, there is this consistent theme, the happiness that exudes from my eyes, the comfort of sleep, the erotic nature of it, the heterosexuality, the normality and disappointment in others. 

       In second grade, I was in a strange building on the Willow campus. I had an older teacher. I remember reading things, the Willow Elementary library, and catching butterflies in the yard of the school, and bringing them home. It was a beautiful experience. And that’s all I really remember from that year, to be honest. In third grade, a teacher I had accused me of having ADD, attention deficit disorder and demanded I see a therapist. The therapist concluded I was fine, and I had a delicious strawberry candy, the type you might imagine your grandmother would give to you. I also made a video of a pikachu dancing on a trip to Canada, using a hand puppet, and some gangster rap song. We shared it with the class, for whatever reason, I just wanted to. My teacher didn’t approve of the song, and we listened without noise, they seemed to enjoy it. It’s totally possible this video was famous, and suppressed, likely even, given my current status as unanimous greatest thing of all time who must be tempered as hard as possible. My brother and I continued our extremely violent home life, him conveniently being a wrestler, as my striking is sure to cause fear in anyone, for a giant amount of reasons. You can sense this, and it is hard to engage me due to it, the dexterity and speed of my hands, their density, and my erratic and unpredictable nature. Unpredictable, in a very physical way, in relation to time and frames - it is very very hard to understand when I am going to punch, or how powerful I truly am - which is why I have been in very few physical fights with blows in my life, which is quite funny for a giant amount of reasons, like my open challenge to duel me for anyone in the species, due to them being retarded and gay. They have not taken me up on it even once outside of prison. 

          In fourth grade, I had an older teacher, and an incident where I went to a private school, viewing my school as literally retarded. Claiming I had not learned anything in all the years I had been at Willow - proven by the fact we started learning long division again in fourth or fifth grade, something I learned in kindergarten if you remember, I transferred schools to a school called Mates, a weird Mormon creepy ass bullshit place. I was quite fat and had glasses. But of course, I am a super ultra genius. It should be mentioned I left my best friend, TK, or Tyler Kinomoto, an Asian boy who I had bonded with over Pokémon, in a very normal fashion. He had brought his Nintendo DS to school and played with it in the safe room while it rained, while I had nothing. It looked so fun, this incident in the second grade caused me to make my mother get me a Nintendo DS - the lasting consequences of these life decisions reverberate to this day. Mates was quite a haze, I remember the drama of wearing the uniforms, I had been made dark skinned by this point, and it should be kept in mind I’m just a totally separate thing from everyone else. We are just physically not the same thing at all and it really shows, so everyone is primarily racist to just me for being so much better than them. I had an odd relationship with a boy named Leo, not necessarily friendship as he was terrible, awful, and a piggy. We would play kickball, for some reason there was drama, he was crying, perhaps I was crying - but less, always less. It was a pathetic display and I switched schools soon, back to Willow, my friends happy to see me again. I requested to be placed in Ms. Pope’s fifth grade class in order to do the Michael Jackson Thriller dance. I made it in, and spent the summer playing video games and reveling in my loneliness, as always. 

         Fifth grade, or 2010, was one of the more interesting years of my life. There was Emme Shachory, pronounced em-mee shah-koree, was my first love, from my perspective at least. She was a beautiful transfer student with brunette hair, doe eyes, and pigtails. For a time I sat next to her, not directly, but with some aisle space, and I did acknowledge her once. I claimed she should be class president, for she was so cool and smart, or whatever, to which she became quite hot and red and exclaimed I was nice. We had another incident where at the end of school, we had a water balloon fight, and I decided to throw my balloons playfully at her, and we were laughing and smiling a moment, before going back into the depths of loneliness in the summer. I was not close to physically capable, brave enough of taming a woman, or of course… interested, as there always is the issue of everyone else being some bullshit pathetic creature from retard society. 

          I believe I refused to send anyone Valentine love letters in any personalized way on the holiday celebrated in the school, as I thought it was weird. I thought a lot of things were weird. Something I forgot to mention - Trick Or Treating! Halloween, one of the most fun holidays, involves the dressing up as scary creatures by humans. They would go from house to house with their children dressed in costumes, proclaim Trick Or Treat!, and every house would be expected to have candy. I went as some different things, a skeleton, a ghost, a scream outfit with a blood pump, that I would use at my neighbor’s houses. We would consume the candy in horrifying amounts, and it was quite fun. You might be surprised how much this is not a thing anymore - the polluters have truly destroyed the earth and completely forgotten about their own society, there aren’t Halloween decorations, families walking in the street, or anything normal at all. 

         It’s hard to fill this section since my life is so simple, me being good at things, everyone else being awful and the worst and insanely pathetic and not being able to speak at all. There was the remarkable anime on Cartoon Network, it would play on occasion on their late night television, adult swim, the terrible disgusting shows made to ruin children’s brains every night after luring them in with fun cartoons. Once in awhile, the show Inuyasha would come on, giving me a beautiful experience, a celebration of the concept of totally monogamous love. There was the girl, Kagome, and the demon boy who would protect her. There was the well, the shikon jewel, the schoolgirls of Tokyo, a trip through time and many demons. It was a beautiful thing, and the outro of season one is one of my most fond memories to this day. There was also Naruto, Bleach, Pokémon, Code Geass : Lelouch of the Revolution, Dragonball and Dragonball Z, all interesting pop culture experiences I had in my charming, cruise ship dwelling youth. 

         There is always more to remember with Willow Elementary, still some of the more charming times of my life. There was the reciting of poems, the games of handball against the big brick walls with other people, the games of shoddy basketball on the messed up uneven hoops, and much more. There was the turkeys, the science board fair, the kool-aid igloos, square dancing and funny slave music singing, like pick a bail of cotton. Seriously, we sang a song about being slaves picking a bail of cotton for our masters, and learned the messed up and brief history of the United States, glamorizing this somehow. In fifth grade, I would refuse to say “under God” during the pledge of allegiance, an act of defiance against everything for being so awful. There was a Halloween party I was ostracized from totally in 5th grade, a sad occurrence. My teachers and classmates would bully just me, quite blatantly, my entire life, for insanely pathetically minuscule and mundane reasons. We had the walks to Carl’s Jr in 5th grade, you would have to win some amount of points to be invited, and we would walk once a week or maybe once every two weeks for milkshakes and burgers. Ms. Pope could not teach at all for 2 days of the week, meaning thursdays and fridays were like romp sessions, where me and my male friends would joke around at the teacher’s expense, Ms. Rosemont, since she was so inept. In my youth, I had no clue human men were actually gay as fuck, as in all of them. One of my playdate companions kissed me at the end of the hangout session, and I decided to just have no friends at all after that. I started to have friends in fifth grade, briefly friends with Matias, Corbin, Cody, and Richard despite his overall rejection. We had a black male friend who did not go to the next middle school with us. I learned to speak to people with these things, and of course I viewed them as awful. We had some fun in Ms. Pope’s class, making jokes about her bush outside class, how pathetic and fat she was. We did not hang out - I was never invited to things. Everyone always thinks I need to be submissive to them, for some reason, failing to accurately assess what they are and what I am, so I went home that summer to play video games, alone, again. I think I began some Water Polo and swimming around here. 

         There was the local swimming pool and gym, a club of sorts, and we would go there on occasion. I would go swim some laps - the water was just disgusting, seriously humans are actually putrid, there’s such valid reason for not doing literally anything here - and it’s HIV. Gayness, the acceptance of not only gay men but the allowance of them to exist, go outside and go into things like restaurants, gyms, and movie theatres. It just shouldn’t be allowed - a gay, red, weird hairy HIV infested standard human man will permanently taint anything they touch, our world is a gay HIV infested hellhole and I will stand by that until the day I die, that this is the culprit for my laziness. 

         I did Karate for a couple years, quitting after working my way up a bit. I was a known quitter - and I still am. That’s somewhat of a joke, I just lose interest in things and focus on other things for a while. For example, Jonny in Zentera turned out to be very hard to write, so I’m just writing this piece of nonfiction about my life to be productive, pass the time, remember myself - since it is so important, my importance as an individual cannot be overstated. I believe it was in 5th grade or perhaps slightly later that I joined the Boy Scouts at my local church, a fortuitous choice. Piano lessons only lasted a couple years, I did not take my practicing so seriously - a decision I stand by due to the poor teaching methods. I did learn how to read sheet music, the treble and bass clef, quite well actually. Always quite well, I always have had an affinity for everything very fast. My music training on the piano involved extremely boring pieces by Johannes Sebastian Bach… and not much else! Haha. I did learn how to play “Clocks” by Coldplay, my teacher shunned my dream to sing, in as pathetic a fashion as possible. So I’ve played quite a brilliant rendition, likely the best you’ll hear, of this song by Coldplay, many times when I set foot on a piano. It’s quite impressive. 

         I eventually would take up the piano again, but I continued to delve into the depths of video games. I still had just no life plan at all and was just barely a conscious thing at 10 years old. All I knew was that everyone else was as pathetic of stupid bullshit as possible. For example, I’ve been super horny and down to fuck for awhile now, and as a heterosexual virile man who’s also a super genius, I know this isn’t exactly common. Just simply having a penis that functions and deposits virile semen, (not to mention all the other stuff as to what I am, in regards to kindness, talent, etc - as in my superior genetic sequencing) this should be worshipped by females, much much more. As in, if anyone wanted to do something as good for them as possible, they would literally suck and fuck my cum all day. And I’m being super serious, not kidding you at all - this behavior would make them intelligent, relaxed, chill, cool, talented, sexually satisfied and much more - which nobody else is. It’s just me - I alone, Jonathan, am legit chill. Everyone else is just weird as fuck doing some pathetic bullshit for all the wrong reasons, which is obviously what being stupid as fuck is. 

          Anyways, another thing worth bringing up from this time period is my trips to Canada. In Canada, life was quite good, at this time. The cities were quite polluted and sad, but they had a certain charm. There was Tim Horton’s, a classic Canadian coffee place we would go for food. There were extremely charming amusement parks, like La Ronde, which we enjoyed. One fateful day I got to be the last kid in line with the balloon clown, and he gave me an entire outfit, of balloons. It was quite cool, one of the only acts of kindness anyone has shown to me. There was also the ice barrel maple syrup popsicle, a total classic. They would pour the maple syrup onto a barrel filled with shaved ice, take a popsicle stick, and jimmy the hardened maple syrup onto a popsicle stick. This was the treat, and it was quite delicious. The whole park is situated deep in the woods and is quite charming. There is a go kart race thing and also a roller coaster if I’m

not mistaken. There was also Champion’s camp, or something like that. We would sing we are the champions, there were some cute girls, and we did fun activities. I did enjoy summer camp in my youth, learning to swim, how to make ice cream, many things. 

         We probably went to Europe somewhere in here, I’ve been to Europe many times. I remember European Disneyland, it was quite fun. Super weird though. There was another park in Canada I can’t remember the name of, one of those memories dug deep into the corners of my mind. I remember a River, I remember the entrance, I remember it was quite charming and had logs. I didn’t mind my life in elementary school. Elementary school was the creative joyful period of my life, recess a physical wonder that shouldn’t be disposed of at later ages. I read many, many novels in this age period, like Warriors - the novels about cats, The Lots of The Rings, a series of unfortunate events, some fairy tale me and my friend Matias enjoyed (however I’m sure he didn’t come close to actually reading it) and many other things I’ve forgotten of. 

         I threw my water balloons at Emme Shachory, my crush, we sang a couple songs like Lean On Me by Bill Withers, one last look at the Willow Library and my time at elementary school was over. On to getting fat, and playing video games.

Chapter 3 : Lindero Canyon Middle School 

          In the summer between elementary school and middle school, I went to Vegas. I purchased a fedora that I liked, a black hat with white stitching. My brother claimed it was cringe, nerdy - this character I was is likely what stemmed the concept of Incels, loser virgins who get fat and play video games. I didn’t necessarily care - I was like 10 or 11 years old, discovering music on my Apple headphones. In terms of what I’d end up doing with my life, I’d have told you I’d want to be an artist or something - but I didn’t talk much! Of course, this is because everyone else has always been as pathetic of bullshit as possible. Nobody else except myself has ever been interesting to me at all, their insane stupidity is just horrifying to behold, how blatantly they will express insecurity, embarrass themselves in front of me. It’s truly horrifying, how much humans will embarrass themselves in front of me, sealing their permanent lifelong shunning by me. And the thing is, I don’t care. I don’t care if they enjoy this or don’t enjoy it / in regards to the shunning. I just don’t view anyone else who is alive, or anyone else who has ever existed, as remarkable, intelligent, worthwhile, cool, creative, or anything good in comparison to me. Yeah, they made me brown and are in a constant war against my waist line, height, strength, bodily function, hair, teeth, just everything. Everything about me that can be sabotaged has been sabotaged as much as possible by everyone else - it is no exaggeration at all. 

          Shame - a disease, to shoot your own foot before a race. I came to school and didn’t wear the fedora. You could just tell this was a whole thing to everyone, and it would have been a whole thing if I did wear the fedora, and I’m still just some random nobody. But you just know, if I wore the fedora the first day, nobody would have ever let it go. You see, not everyone can just wear a fedora, they’re quite cool actually - a major fashion statement. Perhaps someday I’d wear something like this. They’re also quite comfortable actually, giving your scalp room to breathe. It should be kept in mind I’m around 6 foot 3, perhaps I was closer to 6 feet in 6th grade, growing fast and extremely virile. I would play pornography games on my computer on Newgrounds.com, where we had Meet N’ Fuck and the Zone Sama Hentai flash creations. I had to stroke off my cock so much it was ridiculous, middle school being the prime of this. 

         So, I was in the sixth grade. My trip to Vegas had been nice, a nice crepe at the Paris casino the highlight, a Nutella banana crepe - the crepe classic. I learned how to cook these at home, contributing to my bigger waistline. I was going up on the scale, but I mean I was literally 11 or 12. Also, my “mother” and everyone else is trying to make me as fat as they possibly can my entire life. That’s why they don’t have novels and nobody would read their fucking autobiographies - because they spent their whole lives trying to make me fat and ruin me. Seriously! 

         I signed up for classes. I was still in GATE - a higher level, me deciding school was a farce and joke for years since kindergarten, learning barely anything except being blatantly brainwashed by USA propaganda. I had history class with Ms. Cortina, Math with Ms. Nelson, orchestra with Dr. Fried, and a science class. We also had PE - I was at my slowest. My mile time was over 9 minutes and it was quite shameful for me, but I was in my defiant phase. You see, everyone else has actually been the most pathetic fucking bullshit I’ve ever seen or heard my entire life - they don’t understand how insanely pathetic every word that comes out of their mouth is, or how disheartening this is to me. You show them a nice piece of art you made, they’ll say some bullshit, give some bullshit slight under the guise of constructive criticism. But it’s never constructive criticism. It’s always a way for them to express their penises are really small, they’re really talentless, they’re really delusional and just simply awful and the types to suffocate artistic light. 

         This was my excuse for getting fat. I played video games, I enjoyed video games, I could play them alone away from others. I did not like sports because it involves hanging out with other human males - who are just the most pathetic, cry baby, get all red and flustered pieces of shit you’ll ever meet. Not to mention nobody ever says anything of remote insight. An incident in water polo, for example. I was 10 years old, in elementary or middle school, playing water polo in the kids pool. I was by far the best player on the team. It was partially because I could stand up, but in hindsight we were in the kiddy pool so I mean, I was just better. I would throw the ball into the goal viciously every time. I was also the fastest swimmer, my rival - a tall red homosexual, I believe out swam me one time and I became mad about it. He punched me inappropriately at some practice, I became upset with him - believing us to be friends. Of course, I am the best, and I was undoubtedly king of the kiddy pool, with my tall body and vicious ways, so I don’t know what it’s like to be some enmitous pathetic creature. 

         The coaches bitched out as hard as possible and decided to throw me in the big pool two years too early, saying I was 12. I was not 12, I was 10, and I complained about it. They just went stupid mode, as humans do, over experiencing the humiliating defeat every time. I didn’t feel like hanging out with kids older than me and also viewed water polo and all sports as gay as fuck, so I quit. A few years later, I would briefly swim. Ah, before I forget - on the car ride to Vegas, still one of my first times visiting, I had a phone or iPod, an iPod I believe, with the game infinity blade on it. I believe the year was 2010 - I had played this entire game on my phone during that car ride, with my headphones in. Somehow I managed to keep it charged, perhaps with a car charger, as my parents dragged me to Vegas. Infinity blade was a game about knights in a castle who would fight each other and be born again in order to fight again. You played by yourself, you could get upgrades to your weapons and armor and use various things, and you would swipe on the phone to swing your weapon, cast spells, and perform various moves. It was insanely high definition and well made, especially for the time - and our video games are not much in comparison. Especially considering it was a phone game… I played on my iPad… in 2010 (it’s 2023 and we have not advanced.) It’s truly just pathetic. 

         Anyways, somehow my iPod lasted. When we began the long car ride, I was nothing, quite a noob. By the time we had finished I believe I had slain the God King at the top of the castle, a huge achievement. My iPod was hot from the hot sun and I was sweaty and unaware of my surroundings, I had been so engrossed in this little phone game. We had arrived at Vegas and were still a family of sorts. To win at a game, to complete it, is a lifelong achievement. To go through the struggle, of losing so many times, winning so many times, learning so much and using your brain in so many ingenious ways - this will make you happy and satisfied all night, and will prove a fond memory to look back on the rest of your life, as we are demonstrating now. It goes without saying I did this with no software help and view the game as quite easy.  A memory that flashes in my eye is the hot Vegas sun overheating my iPod after I had beaten the game - horror for a moment, but I found I was in Vegas, making memories. 

         This was around the time I got into first person shooter video games. I believe I started with some single player games, like Bioshock. I played bioshock, it is probably still the best human video game. It’s quite horrifying, really, and extremely difficult. A wonderful experience for an 11 year old, or whatever I was, and is still unmatched. Bio shock tells the story of a guy named Jack, a faceless standard human man in a place called Rapture, a hypothetical city under the sea, that has been overrun by druggies and monsters called Big Daddies. I’m not sure what your job is other than to escape, as human video games and all of human creation have a common theme of extremely uninspired stories. A voice channel guides your path in the game, he tells you what to do, leading his commands with the phrase “would you kindly” - Frank Fontaine, if I’m not mistaken. You trust him, as you have no choice, and he eventually betrays you. You can save the little girls who have been infested with the plague, or consume them. Only saving all of them will get you the morally good ending, failing to do so will mean you’ll have to play the whole game again. 

         This game is extremely good as a first person shooter. The splicers are extremely hard to kill, have a ton of HP, act extremely erratic and are simply horrifying - it absolutely is a horror game. You have some abilities you can and should use creatively along the way, and it has many charming experiences, involving insanity, plastic surgery, dancing, a freezer, all under the sea! I’d recommend this game to anyone, as we wait for me to make a game… or die. I believe Cave Story was around this time or slightly earlier, a charming two dimensional video game involving a robot with a gun, his robot girlfriend, and escaping an island. Once again, the story is weak, incoherent, underdeveloped, and we are left with a vague memory / because that’s what all of human creation is. Vague, unfinished, hasty, uninspired, all of these things. It has quite a charming, 8 bit synthesized sound track that is likely to stick with you. 

          I played this game on my DS LITE, with its Software store, an innovative concept. There was also Dragon Tale, one of the best games I’ve played. I’m not sure what anything is or when anything happened or what anything was - no event in my life was that remarkable, a distinct lack of heterosexual relationships plagues my life to this day, although I would make some male friends in middle school. I was somewhat friends with Matias, Corbin, the losers who cheat at video games and make stupid ass noises, in fifth grade, but… not really. I was not invited to Richard’s house after school, perhaps they were too cool, as humans always are - so I stuck to the games, music, and literature. Somewhere around this time the Nintendo Wii was introduced. The most remarkable game on it was guitar hero. You would place the Wii controller into the guitar controller, and it was extremely fun. There were songs, and notes would come up on the screen for you to play along with in a simplified fashion. I would enjoy this on my brother’s console, playing deep into the night, gazing at the female rockstars. This definitely helped me later learn the actual guitar so stunningly fast. 

         It should be noted again that I am heterosexual, I have simply failed to communicate with the females of this species, viewing virtually everyone as weird as fuck and just disgusting. In 6th grade, I had given up primarily on school, but I did enjoy science, learning the many words, like a viscous liquid, or an amorphous solid, things like endoplasmic reticulum, DNA and RNA, mitosis and osmosis, some basic chemistry like electrons, neutrons, protons, the periodic table of elements and the basics of chemistry and the binding of atoms into molecules, atoms need to do this over their loneliness, need to be balanced in terms of their charge. I could explain all this more, or perhaps research it, but this is what I remembered from science in middle school. We also learned about sex, their hilarious views on sex like abstinence, the sex organs and basic information on the sexual act.           

         A multiplayer video game called team fortress two was a huge thing to me in middle school. I still played some Pokémon, I would bring it to school and play during the lull moments of life, always picking up that nobody else was remotely capable of conversing at all, not caring to learn more as to why and respecting their privacy. In hindsight, you might see how the dings and musical sounds of happiness rewarding me and the glow of my eyes as to my constant winning may cause enmity in others. Also, the charming nature of my device, and the games. Anyways, I would download team fortress two, and it was pretty much my real introduction into multiplayer first person shooters. Other than this, I had only played Halo 3 on my brother's Xbox. As with all games, I became way too into it - so I’d imagine I was quite good at Halo at a very young age. And - a horrifying reality that remains constant to this day, everyone else’s extremely suspicious horrifying amount of ability and ridiculous awfulness, terribleness, lack of ability to communicate at all. 

          Team Fortress Two on a laptop, as an 11 or 12 year old boy. It would not take long for me to become extremely addicted to this first person shooter. I showed interest in the spy, a covered Russian KGB agent with a knife, an invisibility cloak, the ability to disguise himself as a member of the opposing team, and a revolver handgun. He was quite weak from the front, the revolver is pretty weak and takes a ton of aim, his speed is moderate and the knife is virtually only useful from the back - especially because it should be noted that I have seriously never gone against a real player. It is extremely obvious from all of my memories on this experience, playing this early first person shooter game, that everyone else was completely cheating, only losing to me by some strange phenomena in the universe - them seriously being so stupid and useless as to lose while cheating, aimbotting, movement hacking, wall hacking, much more, and god knows what else. While I am, of course, just actually playing the game. This process, of everyone else retarding themselves as much as possible while I do the complete opposite, has made me a renaissance man with no rival, nothing close to an equal - since a while ago. And here is where it started, the playing of bio shock, one boy’s enmitous nights of being “DOMINATED” by another player, unsure of how or why the competition was so insanely stiff and difficult. Every kill was monstrously hard to get. It was quite demeaning being a 11 or 12 year old, playing this game, getting your ass handed to you by what you could only assume were older players. The word aimbot, the concept of cheating at these games was something I heard of maybe once, and I wrote it off as something nobody would actually do. Aimbot… it just aims for you at the players head. Not very hard to understand. But that would take all the fun out of it and completely ruin the game for other players… the obvious things I thought, as a person playing the games. It should be noted I’m in no ways lying about any of my accomplishments and am happy to demonstrate them to you, in person. I’m not like the other things, where there’s some bullshit lies and deceptions involving licking buttholes and actually being poor and disgusting. I’d be happy to literally meet with and converse with anyone as long as they’re female and attractive enough, something I can pick up on from any distance. I’m truly a very very kind individual - I’d imagine in another life I could be kind to a man, a male spirit - as I am to many male animals. But all human males are well past the most pathetic bullshit that could possibly exist, the untold rampancy of homosexuality is a horror in everyday life - the gay HIV and AIDS showing itself in every single man you see, red beyond belief, stressed and insane looking, some weird thing about maggots and worms. It’s no joke - I believe there’s no limit to how pathetic everyone else is, just Indian fucking scum parasite eaters that are parasites themselves, just mutated fucking horror movie creatures. That is, what I believe, the company is on this planet in the human domain. Creatures. Who cheat at the games. 

         And this is backed up by the fact I had no friends. I was enjoying the wonders of music, Scatman John and his two famous songs, vintage electronic pop music using what I’d later find out were analog synthesizers, The Beach Boys, The Eagles - these were my go to’s around here. Another charming memory like infinity blade is me in the back seat of my family’s van, taking in the world and listening to Don’t Stop Believing, Sweet Dreams, and some other 80’s hits. Obviously, the dream of being a musician was with me, even at this young age. I was gaining weight and in puberty. It wasn’t a very big deal at all - a young man of around 10-14 will understandably be larger, growing huge amounts of muscle with skyrocketing testosterone levels. Of course, everything my entire life has been a thing to make me fat, bald, ugly, stupid, to destroy my teeth, and to tear me down in any way - since I would later figure out these impossible level opponents were simply my local community, cheating at the games. You see, beating Pokémon isn’t just not for everyone - I believe it is likely an extremely rare accomplishment virtually nobody has honestly accomplished, somehow. The origin of all games is extremely strange, to say the least, seeing how I am literally the only person playing the games, as opposed to cheating at them - and there is more than a world of difference between these two things. So, why do they exist? I can’t honestly answer this as I’m still only 23 years old - the fact I’m writing this is spurred on by my bank accounts dwindling, the horrifying wiggly nature of one of my teeth, my general rotting and decay, and the nature of reality’s failure to exterminate humans. Seriously, humans are actually a terrible, awful, horrible disease - the fact they exist at all is so far past nonsensical, it is like being in hell, that these exist at all. I believe there is no room for weird, creepy, strange, awful, stupid, or disgusting behavior in this life - even one disgusting action likely indicative of a lifetime of this kind of putrid behavior. 

          Anyways, back to Team Fortress 2 and those days. Team Fortress Two is quite the human creation, made by Valve - the creators of Steam, the most popular computer platform for the download and play of video games. Team Fortress is not considered very popular - you bring up this world, and nobody knows what it is. But nobody knows a lot of things, like who Jonny Lucifer Shadieu is, and obviously that’s uh, probably not the case. So, the first nights and weeks went by - I was horrified at my lack of skill. There was the myth of 8 hours a day. I prioritized playing this game - I was so addicted and it was so fun, the feeling of being dominated did not sit well with me at all, in the slightest. So, I would practice, as I do, for hours and hours, often deep into the night. I would come home from school and nobody would be around, counting on my weird gay childhood friend to drive me with his family, always strangely late. There were some beautiful girls who would stay around, and I would get hot for them, staring, as I do. In any case I’d make it home and video games were the primary thing on my agenda, my diet was pretty poor, my parents bought terrible food and just everything about them and their food behavior patterns is extremely suspicious, disgusting, and poorly cooked. I would have some ramen noodles and deal with the stress of playing this game. Other than the spy, there was the Sniper and the Scout - my other two favored classes. The Sniper had a simple sniper rifle, a skinny Australian bloke, and you could find nice locations to sit and one shot headshot players. It was quite devastating. You might see how this is extremely, extremely difficult - like a circus trick, shooting a moving player in the head from a great distance, at the exact right time in the exact right spot. But every game, there was a sniper who would take you out, capable of doing this. It goes without saying this is all due to this concept of video game hacks, cheating software, and the fact nobody else in existence is even remotely close to being capable of being physically and morally good enough to doing something at this difficulty level. Overcoming embarrassment, the shame of being bad at things in a social environment - these are tests of a person’s spirit. And they are difficult, and they may involve crying to yourself, writhing in your loneliness, overthinking, but cheating is obviously not the answer - as it can obviously only serve to make this embarrassment, this fear of judgment or of being exposed horrifyingly bad. 

         And of course there is the stress, the horrifying stress these video games place on people. Of course, there was my stress, of being a player playing against people aimbotting, movement hacking and much more, and how difficult this made the literal mathematical processing in my brain, a likely culprit for my overeating. A video game cheater, also known as anyone else, might give some opinion on my hypotheses that playing games boosts your minds metabolism, makes you permanently smarter - even that you literally must eat after a hard video game session, pack on a bit of body fat to let your body and mind recover in your sleep. From all games, from poker to Pokémon to Apex Legends - all this stuff is insanely hard. Especially… when others are cheating. This issue is nowhere close to being fixed, the developers of all games cheaters themselves, things nowhere close to playing with their real hands. And so, this experience is stressful for them, as stressful as it can possibly be. In every creature there is something that obviously knows it should be playing these things with it’s real hands, so it can use its eyes and ears and train its hand eye coordination. And so, this already stressful experience is likely even more stressful, the victory of winning becomes nothing, a dull false high with no real amazing dopamine or oxytocin reaction from winning, overcoming. Like something much worse than a loser lobster, they likely will eat and eat, gain weight horrifyingly, complain and moan, or degenerate into worse behavior. There is, the limp falseness of winning with cheats helping, and of course the horrifying shame of losing to me very specifically. I had thousands of kills in team fortress two, with only 1,000 playtime hours. You might see how members of this community would have definitely experienced being killed by me, the feeling of watching the screen, spectating the other player, in disbelief that they did this to you. I’ll reiterate the fact I’m clearly playing is extremely obvious, there must be no true limit to the feeling of how pitifully useless and stupid you are as a man or living creature to lose with Aimbot and much more against a real flesh and blood guy. 

          While I did spoil the Fontaine betrayal in Bioshock, keep in mind this is primarily a game about shooting and using abilities, the story limp and weak. I hope you’ll forgive me for the excitement of reading even one of my sentences and paragraphs, likely new beautiful horizons into the vast scope of the English language and the concept of language itself, into the vast realm of conceptualization and intelligence, into all things and the concept of improving itself. You might see how every second of my life I have spent not cheating, which is virtually all of them (except capturing mew and arceus in Pokémon - a hilarious joke compared to what you fucking things do), has payed exponential dividends to my intelligence and dexterity. Thinking of what video games are, either controller or mouse and keyboard. This is incredible for your hands fine motor skills, the incredibly subtle and responsive aiming, the use of the keyboard or buttons to program your brain to do such a giant variety of things, requiring huge amounts of processing in real time. As my processing is done in my mind, and through my body - I was playing on a laptop doing incredible things extremely fast, hitting sniper headshots, terrorizing my opponents with horrific acts of dominance like the backstab, the betrayal, the use of the bow and arrow as a sniper to headshot opponents, the running and circling of the scout as he unloads his devastating shotgun bullets into his opponents. I did all of these things, this was my primary form of attack, and before too long I was virtually always on the dominating end. I was an extremely dominant force - very much the same player I am to this day. Solo, and devastating. 

          Around the beginning of middle school there was a game called Minecraft in its beta stage. I played this game, I believe I was told about it by a friend named Phillip Hancock, a tall white guy who was quite ugly and had long brown hair. He told me about it and we would play together some. I downloaded the game and got very into it by myself you’d be absolutely shocked how horrifyingly terrible Minecraft is in 2023 compared to what we had back then. There was no recipe book - everything was a total mystery, and the magic of the game was intact. I played it by myself, I’d build houses and caves, explore the caves, and you’d be shocked how difficult this game is. There are skeletons with bows and arrows, silent creepers who will come behind you and explode like TNT, zombies who will chase you, tall heights to fall and die from, hunger and starvation, and more. The magic of this game was truly enchanting in its beta stage. I watched this game as it grew and developed, sold out, and became the flaming hunk of garbage it is today. I would build things, they had a rudimentary phone app I showed a great appreciation of - Minecraft Pocket Edition, or MCPE. I actually made this little abbreviation myself, and created the subreddit for MCPE, Reddit.com/r/MCPE, which is still quite active to this day. Back when I was around, we would all celebrate the success of programming this phone app, how it had come farther than any of us could have anticipated. We thought it was only possible to have a rudimentary creative mode - however I, as leader of the subreddit, believed it was possible by the laws of processing as a 12 year old boy, due to my experience playing infinity blade on an iPad. It very much was, and is possible - the creators, and all other humans are quite simply retardedly stupid idiots and I have to program and create and entire video game myself to display this. 

         Within a few years, survival mode had been implemented. I got “booted” from the subreddit by my own moderators. It should be noted everyone has always been terrible, expresses cringe insecurity bullshit and nothing but, and to this day everyone else is an obviously liposuctioned idiot sack. Anyways, I played Minecraft, learned the many various crafting shapes by either being creative or searching them up, and was quite decent at the game. My likely fame as a sharp shooter in TF2 is likely quite real - as I’ve said to this day every single professional streamer and otherwise is quite simply cheating at video games. My headshots from the sniper were quite brutal, as they remain to this day on any FPS video game, along with my cunning and powers of betrayal and deception as the spy. I played Bioshock, which is a jarringly difficult video game for all the wrong reasons - the enemies simply have an unrealistic amount of health and the guns do an unrealistic amount of damage. The truth is, you take a shotgun to the face from 3 feet away - you die. Or at least are horrifically, irreparably injured. For reasons like this, pathetically easily avoided and noticed bullshit like movement scripts, clutter, graphical errors - all video games are extremely lackluster. 

          Another game that was quite remarkable was a game called Dishonored, about a guy named Corvo Attano, who needed to save his daughter or some young female character after being separated by conspirators. He was the queen’s guard of sorts, a highly trained assassin, who was later thrown in jail without reason by conspiring workers, plotting to overthrow the empire. He would put on a hood and mask, and go about his mission to save the girl. This would involve either murder, sedation, or knocking people out cold. Like a cat, Corvo could climb up walls, sneak on objects, frequent high places, jump from high places, and perform moves with stunning accuracy. The game is still a testament to what video games are capable of - it being held back by lackluster art, lackluster NPC programming - which is just voice lines - a shoddy movement script like all games, poor moral judgment on the part of the programmers to not allow Corvo to kill his conspirators - without the game becoming excessively difficult - and in general a lack of programming and input from me - AKA the guy who played the game. 

          Anyways, this game specifically and all games are great spatial awareness training. Corvo has many magical abilities - teleportation and too many to list, or play very efficiently. However, playing dishonored is no simple task - you need to be able to see, aim, hear, react quickly and decisively, respond under pressure, have resourcefulness and cunning, and accuracy. It goes without saying if you cheat, hence aimbot, god mode, movement hacks and the like - you are accomplishing nothing except making yourself as delusional and stupid as possible. It was always quite obvious to me cheating was a pathetic, scum thing to do that was less than pointless - degenerating yourself and your abilities, to be the opposite of what I am. In any case, I played and beat dishonored, learning how to sneak, hide behind things, assassinate and stun. Not everyone will beat video games - they are quite difficult, and if you do this even once in your life under logically good moral standing - as in, not cheating - you have every reason to be proud of yourself and a beautiful experience you will always remember, practice in the art of happiness itself. 

          And in 6th grade to 8th grade, there was no more magic time with Emme Shachory, and still nothing remotely close to a girlfriend. Rumor had it she had a boyfriend - it goes without saying I quite disliked him, and all other men since a young age - some stupid looking idiot. She also hung out with my friend Richard and posted it on social media. Richard is a weird, creepy scummy guy I’ve never liked in my life, despite our vague friendship. In any case, I heard these things, and moved on. It should be noted throughout all my youth there was not a single real fight involving punching from both parties. This is likely abnormal - as it should be. Living organisms SHOULD fight each other to establish dominance and moral authority - the cultivation of physical power goes hand in hand with the cultivation of good morals. In any case, everyone has always avoided me like the plague, and it’s not hard to understand why. If you, acknowledge you are basically talking to me, I am not ranting - we are going through my life together, bite by bite, in a form of dialect. I’d very much consider literature a way to talk to people. And you will find, I am seriously infinitely more intelligent than any Dostoevsky, Freud, Jung, Jesus Christ, Einstein, Hawking, through all of time - my message is so simple, to the point, obviously true, and well expressed. Even hearing one sentence like this, to the other living creatures I have been unfortunately subjected to in my life, is literally too much for their brains. They will become weak, falter, fail to have the words - fail to express themselves in any way. And when I find you are not expressing yourself, or are lying, or are simply unlikable, even just stupid or have a lack of talent - my interest in you will fade faster than you can possibly imagine and you will not be spoken to ever again. There is also this - in middle school, this was my Fat Era. In hindsight, that’s totally acceptable, obviously it goes without saying having such a big crush on someone like Emme or any girls and having this never coming close to working out is extremely stressful - the depths of your heart filled with thoughts of monogamous love, marriage, happiness - completely squandered and stepped on by this concept of boyfriends, hanging out, this strange cultural normalization of the whorization of our children and young women. I believe a woman should literally be untouched and unseen, having nothing close to a relationship with literally any other living creature except her monogamous husband before their Union and marriage - if simply

as to assure her attraction to him. And so, to this day, beautiful women will come out to me, live their lives, do all things of what being a woman is - however they manage to be trim, makeup, plastic surgery, smells, and all the aspects that make a woman’s life so hard - and then completely squander any chance of having any chance of becoming anything close to close with me (this being her aim, there is no doubt) due to her stupidity, whorishness, disgusting nature and the fact they feel some need to come out with some disgusting homosexual. I will spit on you nonverbally and walk away, and when I walk away from you there is no return. 

         I was friendless. But that didn’t matter at all. There were no friends to have, and I was quite gothic. I did get fat, expressed I didn’t care, and I had every reason to do so and more. I have given up on this life since an extremely young age and all the other living organisms. My ego has always been big - huge, for extremely obvious reasons. Something that happens to a young multiplayer video game player when faced with so much winning, tenacity, the cultivation of ruthless qualities, is extreme endogenous testosterone, oxytocin, dopamine production you can still see on my video game streams to this day. As with my current stream, where every kill and elimination is a highlight worthy clip - I have more than likely been facing cheaters my entire life. This has given me a subconscious awareness that all other life is the scum of the earth, the lowly and pathetic maggots, less than that - at least a maggot minds its business for the most part. Humans are the tattle tales, the unrespectable ones, the ugly and disgusting, the gay. I’ve also… heard things. Everything I have heard out of everyone else is… unimpressive to say the least. I will show someone, like my mother for example, a work of art I’ve made, and I’m only a young boy. Instead of simply complimenting it, pointing out something nice about it, encouraging me - she does the complete opposite. And before we talk about any of the aspects of what you are - what you all actually say, how obvious your pathetic jealousy is - let us remember this is my autobiography, there absolutely is a reason it must be written for the sake of my own life, and potential progeny. The sheer amount of reasons everyone else is obviously terrible and bad, and I am as good as I can possibly be knows no bounds - it’s just everything, what all of life is itself. A song called Pumped Up Kicks, in regards to school shooting, was quite popular during middle school, played on the radio stations and at the school dances. It likely had to do with my accomplishments in team fortress two - thousands of kills is extremely remarkable… 

         It should be noted, as a video game player, a practicer of things, I’ve been known to have extreme enthusiasm and a ruthless nature. If I want something done now, then that’s what I do. If I feel I’m unacceptably bad at something, I will practice it with extreme tenacity until I am better - within minutes, hours, or days you will always notice extreme levels of improvement in anything I do. I did not become so horrifyingly attractive as a male specimen by valuing females - it is not bad to say at all. I don’t value anyone, in truth, except the animals and our religion - which is very real, and very ominous. I don’t value female conversation, or input. I don’t value the female insight, or their lives for that matter. What I believe is that if a woman has ever maintained a physical proximity of 6 feet or less with another man even once in her life, and still that is too close, that she is His bitch, she is his physical disgust, she is tainted and ruined. And it’s all very much a smell thing - because that’s not all a woman who displays any pathetic qualities will do. There’s no limit to how fast or how idiotically people will degenerate into the depths of disgust, dog fucking, destroying every ounce of their intelligence and bodies - it is the standard human state to do so. If you think this is cruel my point is this - I lay here alone, accomplished beyond my wildest dreams, clearly in no ways delusional about anything. Why would you, as a female - a thing obsessed with this concept of a husband, a thing to take care of you and love you the rest of your life / prioritize physically being around another male specimen even once as opposed to coming to me like a zombie. I don’t care to know - your lives have no value and the continued adding on to my accolades, my creations, and my fame is more than enough happiness for me. 

         But in more ways than not, it’s not enough. Money is what I want. Money is something I deserve to have. Before stopping playing team fortress 2, or TF2, I received a cosmetic item worth maybe 100 dollars - a scout’s hat with drink bottle connecting to his mouth. I traded it to some guy before quitting the game - a couple weeks or months later, it was removed from the game. I would find out later it was worth 12,000 dollars due to its removal - an infinite sum, to me at the time, in 6th or 7th grade. Of course, my suppression has been lifelong, and unanimous, everyone is as much of a fucking pathetic awful scum sack bully as possible, their only conspiracy being that they’re all together against just fucking me. Seriously, what did I learn on team fortress two? That everyone is fucking terrible, completely stupid, worthless company, have no insight on anything, and in hindsight are just cheating as hard as possible and nothing close to conscious, respectable life. My theory on this is that everyone else should just fucking kill themselves and just do everyone a fucking solid since they are so worthless and awful. Anyways - I didn’t get the 12,000, and I was kicking myself. Before I talk about my weight loss, and the legitimate methods I used to achieve it, let’s talk about boy scouts! 

♾️

          So I joined Boy Scouts in middle school, or around the end of elementary school. My family and I found out about it at our primary church throughout all of my youth, the Westlake Methodist Christian church. Since I see no need for total linear continuity, we will describe briefly some of the events that happened here throughout my life. There was a brief stint with choir… it did not last. We did sing a show or something of the birth of Jesus Christ for Christmas or something of the like. It was… a pitiful church, with too many memories. It had semi tall buildings, these purple shag rug carpets all around, a small stage, and stained glass windows. We would come once in a while. There was another time I played bells with my piano teacher, that was quite fun - a beautiful instrument. There was another thing called Pizazz music camp, where I learned about music. They would say, play it with pizazz, like style and moxy. A kaleidoscope of sound… if I’m not mistaken. There were also the piano recitals I had in my youth.. if I’m not mistaken I was one of the better players despite my proclivity to not practice. Always, before a show, literally the night before or the last two nights, I would become possessed with shame at the thought of an embarrassing performance - so I would practice until I had it down. They were quite boring songs, but I always put on a good show. Anyways, at some Sunday church event they had talked of the Boy Scouts. On a whim, I decided to join, bored of my life and swimming. 

        Boy Scouts is a… thing. You have to keep in mind everyone else feels the need to pretend they aren’t gay in front of me my entire life… since I’m not gay, and I’m extremely kind. I literally believed the other things were straight like me my whole life just because they said so. Looking back it’s pretty fucking weird to talk about especially considering I still have grown men seem to fervently desire to rape me as much as possible at 23 full years old. And I mean that’s the truth. 

        In any case… there were the moms. I guess that’s why I stayed. On any trip or event there was a little squadron of hot moms, at least one, and they would even attend every one of the meetings usually. Meaning I got to see one beautiful red headed woman with an amazing ass, this other guy’s hot Indian mom who was swooning after me on one camp out… and that’s about it. But I mean, not bad. As is the story of my life I just kind of… do not pay attention to male things, having no interest in them. In any case I would learn a bunch of stuff, was a good Boy Scout, and was told being a Life Scout would be great on a job application. Instead everyone has shunned me as hard as possible for complaining about sexual harassment in the workplace and also because I can turn a 20 dollar bill into a beautiful, charming bag of food. 

        Yes, the story of my life is quite stupid and everything I say banks on everything else being as fucking terrible as they can possibly be about literally everything in regards to skill and talent. Yes, they have to be as tone fucking deaf as possible, as delusional, as much of Incel jealous virgins as they can possibly be for the story of my life to exist. Since I just obviously should have been a millionaire and billionaire since I was like a literal baby and they’re just definitely commiting insane amounts of mail fraud and physical violence over me. Everywhere I go, everyone has this vibe like, it’s time to pretend to be a functional fucking thing around this guy. Like they’re all just barely holding it together. Anyways, seriously guys, this story is pretty bad. As older Jonny Lucifer Shadieu, I can definitely state a kid beating every single Pokémon game viciously should have been noticed, and you’re all actually so far past insanely inept in this concept of competition, community, life itself. It’s just totally absurd what humans are. It’s just always this thing, getting mad at me specifically for being good at anything to the degree of being a professional. They all just really do not want this no matter what. There’s just no limit to how much everyone else clearly hates me, what lengths they will go to to wrong me, like it’s really just absurd to watch. As I write this I have a court case against Teresa brewing… it’s the year 2023 and I mean I’m just a child… she’s clearly guilty of all charges and I’m the greatest blah of all blah. 

          Anyways. There’s things like fishing, taking on King’s Canyon, Joshua Tree, night fires and s’mores, but the rest involves other human men, who I really don’t care to discuss given I’ve never given a shit about them. Anyways there was one camp, one summer, in middle school, where I was showing extreme leadership qualities, taking charge of our troop, and Lisa, the beautiful Indian mom was raving about how… good I was. You might see what I’m insinuating here, right? That the girls fuck me in my sleep? Or that’s what my hypothesis is. There was another girl at a camp in San Diego… there was the early morning get wet thing… and the early morning kayaking. There was also this red headed girl who was very hot that was nonsensically serving at a Boy Scout Camp, the one in San Diego. I said hello to her awkwardly as a 13 year old with a shaved head, very attracted to her. Life is a very hot experience for me, to this day, to see a beautiful woman without fully inseminating her repeatedly is like a semi torturous experience, having such a … large penis and testicles… which is yes, the actual truth, life among the sexually inept universe has been very hard on me. Oh? There were some fun games in Boy Scouts… we had Egyptian Rat Screw, a game that was only fun for one night… Basically, you shuffle and deal the cards, and throw them on top of each other one by one, you try to slap first to get the sandwich repetition or the dual repetition… it was fun. I also shot a gun at a camp, which was nice. Bows and arrows. As you can see from my memory of this… there is no gay love… I don’t even approve of hugging. I mean in truth I just hate everyone. But it was a fun experience… I just seriously wish there were much, much more coed experiences in this life and less… weird taboo shaming of heterosexual intercourse and relationships. No yeah just everything… the conspiring ways… weird secrets. All of these things are literally fucking pointless and everyone else is a complete and utter moron. This is my religion, 

         I don’t know what else to say about Boy Scouts. It could have been good, if another boy was like me. But nobody is like me. Nobody else ever has anything good, intelligent, positive, kind, thoughtful, just anything. There was also camp oakhurst… which is quite funny to me considering humans do not belong anywhere near a place called oakhurst or Yosemite… because they’re absolutely the scared of animals species, which is quite hilarious. Bigfoot and bears are also totally real, also kittens could potentially be an extreme threat… let alone much larger animals like wildcats, stray cats, and of course cougars. Also, there can be any amount of animals hiding anywhere anytime and you just will not know as a human… I’ve seen a giant amount of empirical evidence showing animals are incredible hiders, their senses are infinitely better than ours. Well…. Cats. Not dogs. Dogs appear to be some weird bullshit we shouldn’t even talk about. Just Boy Scouts and dogs man, just don’t talk about it. This is my brain and I’m sticking to it. 

        Oakhurst was??? I don’t know. Nobody can do the sex thing at all. They just cannot do it. It’s just extremely easy to me, hilariously easy, and to them it’s the biggest deal ever. Everything is. Because they absolutely are the tear your acl every day species. Like everyone else just struggles so much with every single aspect of life so obviously and is so clearly beat up about it. I don’t care to talk about oakhurst. I don’t care to talk much about anything in my fucking life, because I’m a man with a fucking penis and there’s a distinct lack of consensual heterosexual relationships in it, in a fucking world of literal micro penis shitsacks. So you might see how I view my life as a literal fucking waste, not giving a shit what I’ve done in my sleep, as I’m a totally intelligent, coherent, cool fucking living creature who you absolutely need to be able to speak to. There was the… mail. Where the parents would mail the kids candy and send them notes. There were no notes for me. There was no candy. Even if I asked. Nobody ever did shit for me and that’s the cold hard truth. It should be noted - to this day I have superhuman senses, my capacity to smell things knows no real bounds, so of course every time I eat at a cafeteria I’m going for the finest food there, and I just have this way about me. In other words, things may have an extreme proclivity to become extremely jealous of me. 

        I just don’t care to explain what Oakhurst was. Weird dancing circle… Kumbayah… masturbating in a room full of boys.. because yeah? I’m the guy with the penis so I’ll definitely have to do that. Of course, I was silent in my own bed, thinking about girls. But I mean, yeah, there’s nothing weird about masturbating a penis at all. It’s just an absolute physical need to calm down the guy… Here’s the thing they seriously don’t have this at all. They just do not have penises, the origin of all humans is extremely suspicious. You definitely have to be eating right and being a functional thing to have a penis. Anyways, there’s no fucking between the red fern or whatever the fuck youthful relationship in my life. There’s no skins. There’s no fucking love or joy or happiness at all, just small little glimpses at it. There’s just extremely brief conversations with completely socially inept loser females, who become flustered over literally anything, and the nightly occurrence of weird, visceral sex dreams. I don’t care about any of this. I don’t care about dreams. Dreams mean absolutely nothing to me, real life is everything to me, and you absolutely need to be able to talk for hours at a time, not injure yourself in your day to day life, learn about what any of this is with me in real time - all that shit. So anyways yes, there is a possibility a metric fuckload of human women have just completely had raw sex with me in my unconscious hours but just cannot answer to why they can’t hand me five dollars to this fucking day. You might see how this could be a problem - in reference to my extreme sexual capacity, which I’m really not joking about - I totally have the ability to completely cum in a virtually unending amount of beautiful women repeatedly and seem to have extreme physical urges to do this. You can buy this or not, but it’s the truth, and I’m doesn’t lie about things guy.  

          Anyways. You’ll find any paragraph by me is new and insightful, if you manage to read the words. It should be noted there is no shame in not knowing a new word… there is shame in failing to read it, especially to an author as fine as myself. And I will tell you these things, because I am the truth, the obvious truth, the way of the universe itself. To take the time to understand things. I refuse to explain more on how to learn words - figure it out. I just took a short visit to a local sex shop in the year 2023, to visit a tinder match and potential sexual partner. It is a joke… how obvious the whole penis thing is, quite difficult to everyone else, selling comically large dildos in huge amounts, not to mention the hilarious disgusting pathetic nature of porn and of all of humanity except just me. Funny. More evidence Mexicans have… not much going on down there. And to me, that’s what everyone else is… just pathetic Mexicans. A story of my life is that… I’m actually a very poor man. I’ve spent most of my life nowhere close to what can be considered rich, and of course everyone has wronged me in every way. However, I’ve lived the life of a patrician and have the regal visage to prove it, relying on my sense of smell, good business sense, natural intuition, sharp eyes and steady hands to keep my life nice and pleasant - eating finer foods than any other man to ever live, I dare say. 

          Now of course the legions of the actual poor, the plebeians, the stupid and ugly will be mad about this. But as the guy who kind of is the internet, I’m down to fix it for everyone and make it one hundred percent real - to open up the possibility of being, extremely rich at a young age and rewarding artistic talent and ingenuity properly. I’m on a bit of a tangent but you know what I mean. 

        Ah - a common theme in middle school. Erections. Throbbing erections. Cumming constantly. A wild puberty indeed. In sixth through eighth grade, I was popping boners at an unbelievable rate, I believe I’d masturbate 5-6 times a day. I would have to masturbate in the bathrooms, teased by the girls at my school in short shorts, an extremely popular fashion trend at Lindero, but too much for my penis to possibly take. An incident in math class. Emme was a couple seats away from me, very close. I always wear basketball shorts, even to this day. I have to masturbate my penis extremely literally, looking down her legs is way too enchanting, I’m doing it through my pants discreetly. I’m quite slick, and everyone is quite stupid, so I’m pretty sure they just didn’t notice. I came hard, stroking my penis through my pocket, a pocket - knock it, of sorts. There was hot cum on my leg and I tried to regain focus on school, what I did was just so wild. A friend notices a white viscous liquid on my leg, and points it out. He says, Jon you have something on your leg! He’s a dull asian from a no fun family, you know how insecure Asians are about their intelligence. Or lack of it? Obviously. I tell him it’s glue and make a play to how messy and lazy I am. He buys this explanation.

         I don’t feel any shame about this little incident. These girls are dressed like fucking whores. They’re in shorts that do not even cover their butt cheeks. They would wear ripped fucking shorts with their ass cheeks literally hanging out, in a middle school? As like a super regular thing. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world for me, but of course women are things that will dress like this then be like, woah, closed off, ready to shut you down. It is kind of awkward if the snail trail hypothesis is real, as studied by me in Milan in extremely retarded fashion. Basically, I put some of my own cum on my head as to see if it would help my skin and hair grow. I was then viscerally shocked to find my cum was extremely virile and alive, moving at extreme speeds, and that I really had no idea what this liquid was at all. There’s likely still my cum… alive inside my body, right now, I can feel it. Weird to talk about it… but life is very weird. I’m not approving of this. I’m not approving of how weird and strange and awful life is, I wish it was literally a perfect fairyland. But it’s not. It’s a terrible fucking hell scape, there’s no real limit to how fucking actually strange and just disgusting and terrible the other living organisms in this shared universe are. 

        Okay so… I’m basically positing my penis just deposits extremely virile, alive, heat seeking cum whenever I go and it possibly gets females pregnant. There’s also every single thing about what even a spoonful of this substance is. Yada yada fake penises. Yada artificial insemination. You know, the obvious reality for the conscious entity that is everyone else (humans). So were these girls kind of expressing something? Obviously. But whatever. 

       In any case I’m losing my mind over my middle school… lovers… also known as the sluts who would show up to school in this ridiculous(ly amazing) apparel… for an extremely heterosexual violent pervert like myself. I’m also referring to… wild dreams… with this red transfer student from the Midwest. Their outfits were really… a strip club to the max. By the way, this is just what being heterosexual is… like having sexuality… getting hot.. thinking about hot things… ready to lose it. It’s not like some act of dominance on you as a thing. I mean obviously anytime someone else thinks or talks or does sex, this is going to hurt you, you properly should view this as a challenge… there’s no limit to how much, sexual intercourse is the ecstasy of life… the cold hard truth. Fully blown raw sexual intercourse has absolutely nothing close to any match… I’m referring to the dreams hypothesis… a recurring theme. In the same fucking house, a stones throw from Willow Elementary, to this day. I can do things like this and this or this or this. Perhaps you’ll get that or you won’t, basically for each this I charged the word with a magic spell. Maybe it’ll work maybe it won’t… my hypothesis is, it will, and you’ll be impressed. I’m basically implying a person with any stealth at all could just walk in here and open their butthole or fucking less and I’m such a sex monster I might just fuck them raw completely unconscious. I have a hypothesis they, the conscious entity that may be fucking me in my sleep, girls, have been using extreme amounts of drugs resulting in my morning grogginess. I’m also theorizing it’s unlikely I’ve actually been raped by men due to cats and how they wouldn’t let this happen and just the laws of the universe and all aspects of Jonny meowcliffe religion. Or it’s a coping mechanism. In any case I’m the most wronged creature of all time so yeah. It is definitely proper to think of me as the one true messiah, the first and last coming of god, origin itself, the absolute highest truth, infinitely more memorable than any Christ, more directly powerful than any god in all the heavens of existence. And when you can say these kinds of things… with this kind of coherency and consistency… it makes you think, you’re literally the god of the universe and everyone is just as terrible as possible. Anyways? This is how my brain thinks at all times. But seriously, if you aren’t… seriously proud, of your sexual accomplishments… that’s not good. You absolutely need to do the exercise, competition, socialization, even animal worship… there’s just so many things you have to do in this life to be a functional thing. I’m not here to tell you life is an easy or always fun game, but it very well may be worthwhile. 

       Oh and the dreams… there was this tight assed Mormon girl who was quite nice to me. She was quite tall and beautiful, I was wildly sexually attracted to her and still am. She would wear this extremely tight jeans and it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, we had a class together. She was a common theme in my dreams and I still have dreams of this girl to this day. Oh and the girl from the Midwest… she bullied me once. She was claiming I wrote her friends name on her leg, like Jonathan plus Megan forever. This wasn’t true, a total delusion, I was probably drawing a cat or some creature. Or I did. Who the fuck cares? Do you have any idea how open my body language is at all times? How terrible everyone else is at sex? A chick could just hop on me and I’d be like yeah. But like? They’re weird about it? And it’s not hard to understand why. I’m literally a morally perfect specimen… if you’re anything less than this, when you face me, and how truly beautiful and incredible I am in every single way, it’s not hard to understand you’ll blunder, stumble, overwhelmed by shame of your inferiority. Anyways… there were a couple incidents with the weird piggy mid western girl. I mean she was super hot, insanely hot, and she would dress like such a slut it was mind boggling. She had this bullying incident, yelling at me for whatever reason, and I just kind of walked away since I don’t know what these are. We had this recurring dream where… she would drop her shorts to her feet and id be inside the hole, you know like having wild sex. That’s all I am, guys, I’m just fucking actually such a depraved heterosexual monster it boggles the mind, if you had any idea what I’m actually ready to do to you guys like at all times, it’s truly incredible, how much death and destruction and rape I could accomplish anytime I feel like breaking even a single law. 

        Oh yeah, I did strings in middle school. I started out at bass, I probably should have stayed due to the close proximity with this cute girl, but I left to the cello section. Matias was here. Matias can’t complain about shit since everyone else is a scum police embezzling suppressing mark zuckerburg loving homosexual, so we can just talk about them. Matias was a viola, he was pretty good. Richard was a violinist, a remarkably terrible violinist if I’m not mistaken. I moved to the cello, there was one girl I somewhat liked in the cello section, and of course… I was jarringly good. As with all organized things, it had to be ruined by the homosexual. I had some time as first chair… earning it in masked competitions, they likely rigged later. It’s been as clear as possible everyone else just is as against me as possible, it being their natural state. Anyways, we had the triplets, the Latina triplets, in strings. I viewed the class as my practice. Obviously I ended up as the greatest musician who ever lived so… I’m sure I could pick it up again. I learned the cello suite. People will tell you the cello suite is boring, overdone. It’s not. They’re obviously just jealous of your mad skills, that’s an amazing thing to do. I’d play a cello again… if I had space, and money, and cleanliness. Fun fact about Matias… I had lived my whole thing believing this thing had a bigger penis than me, it is what I was led to believe. However it had always been obvious I was violently attractive to women… them becoming as stupid of imbeciles as possible around me, acting as retarded and as in relation to me as they possibly can. Likely in order to make me jealous… make me, you know, break a crime even once… something that still just hasn’t happened at all. Funny how life is like that. Like seriously, I seriously question why it’s like I’m just an intelligent form of life and then everyone else is as retarded and awful about every little adverse emotion in their lives as possible. It took my quite awhile to hang out with Matias, actually. Like, I never hung out with people. I had a couple play dates I didn’t like in elementary school and didn’t hang out again until eighth grade. We will get more on that later. I did a seriously jarring amount of things in middle school, my reading level is actually ridiculous. If I’m not mistaken I had… Lord of The Rings… both one and two… on my damn desk, in the fourth grade. And if I have a book, I’m reading it! My reading accomplishments are truly extraordinary, and obviously it shows in every single line I write, my mentors got so destroyed in this so fast just by the twitter. And I’m positing, language is just a form of expression, sounds, rah rah ooh rah rah, a primal form of human expression. Grammar… spelling.. they matter, but what really matters is these.. the words… they are like potent psychedelic fuel, the gift of intelligence itself, of contemplation. Ah, and my reading was briefly.. absolutely incredible in middle school. Well… not so briefly. Basically throughout all of middle school except the last half of eighth grade I was a reading extraordinaire. We had all the young adult novels… middle school was my young adult novel time. 

         There’s no limit to how… interesting… middle school was in hindsight, and how much this strange experience affected me in my development. Ah, the young adult novels, the faint sniff of love, the Percy Jackson books, Enders game, and all of its sequels. I would read this as the sun went down in the yard, on a hammock, for hours. Dystopian novels… so many beautiful times, laying on a hammock in my yard, experiencing these books as a young man. Ender’s game is a super interesting work by humans, and I believe it’s sequels are also amazing, and also the alternate series involving Ender’s rival, bean. It involves a young man who is a strategic mastermind, and he is used by the government to exterminate a race of aliens without his knowledge, resulting in him being known through all of time as Ender. There is an obvious parallel to my video game playing, the fact I’m the only person seriously doing it, my absolutely mind boggling superiority, and what the conscious entity who is everyone else does with this information, this programming, this display of how to kill ruthlessly and efficiently. And I don’t care. Since we’ve established I’m basically as nazi as possible to all humans and even suspicious of some animals, in regards to being on the chopping block for extermination. I hope all other humans are exterminated as fast as possible if they’ve purposefully spit in food even once. Obviously. That’s some seriously weird shit to do, and we’re not gonna devolve into entertaining these ideas. 

        I had many… weird lives involving no physical touching, crushes in middle school, too many to list. There was Karen, a girl from elementary, and I had a vivid fantasy she came to visit me for wild romance and sex on a trip to Mexico… another dream. Brooke, a big booty Texas looker, all these girls wore this country short shorts outfit I’ve described. The environment was so much better, here in 2023 the world is in shambles in the light of my wildly successful 2022, I lay here a husk of my formal self… still as good as I can do. There are no more schools, man. I just don’t think it’s real at all after the pandemic. There’s no cleanliness, there’s no nice evenings reading under the palm trees as the sun sets, tanning myself in a waking dream. But there is writing… and my possible resurgence, which could easily happen, obviously. 

         Who else… oh, the teachers, of course. Ms. Cortina was a hot, milf who taught my history classes who I became separated from in eighth grade. I had her for 6th and 7th. I was extremely hot for her. She was like half Latina, half Italian or something. She went to Stanford. Stanford was a big thing to her. She was like, responsible for this thing called Old Worlde Fair, the idea that would later become the EZ home, EZ ups with blanket walls. Students would make these and some kind of project from ancient civilizations and trade them, if I’m not mistaken. It was pretty fun. She taught us many interesting things, like Mesopotamia, the origins of human civilization, Egypt, Egyptian Gods, Greek and Roman civilizations - it was quite nice to not focus on America for the two years. I am of course, sexualizing any woman in front of me who is even remotely attractive as much as possible, and I mean it goes without saying I had many dreams of this woman. There was also the science teacher… in 7th grade. I was extremely attracted tk her. She was really a sexual fantasy, like a very sexy granny, with this short haircut and blonde grey hair. She would wear glasses and had a nice way of carrying herself, and a beautiful body. She taught us about sex. She explained a man would be “full” of cum after 2 weeks… I scoffed, seeing how yeah I masturbated 5-6 times a day in middle school, unable to process how I could possibly be okay with that little stimulation. Anyways, yeah, she was pretty hot. In this class, some girl implied this ugly oaf of a girl would be a remotely good fit for me, and I was so offended I just like shunned everyone. However, I’m really shunning everyone, always. I take one look at someone and if their energy is… bad, or human in other words, lame and pathetic, I look away and don’t look back, because there’s nothing to see. 

       In eighth grade I had Ms. Barnes, who had the milkiest, biggest titties I’d ever seen. She would wear this cute black outfit that I loved. She would have her tits out virtually every class. She was very pale, Germanic or English, blonde, nice eyes, soft and large. I had a dream her and Megan, the transfer from 5th grade, came to visit me in a three way, masturbating my cock to my sexual fantasy after not cumming for 3 days in Canada. These are my memories - the most visceral facts of my life. She taught us social studies, the words they use to describe history, and we learned of America. We would sometimes watch movies in class. It was quite nice. 

       So, in eighth grade, my reading kind of steamrolled and then came to a grinding halt. I read all of Game of Thrones in a matter of weeks… maybe less, and claimed 1,000 AR (advanced reading if I’m not mistaken) points at the beginning of the semester. You’re only supposed to get 20… showing how hilariously inferior everyone else’s intelligence is. I proceeded to become bored of literature after reading these interesting, shocking books, and became more interested in losing weight and playing basketball. A notable memory is that after 1,000 hours of team fortress two gameplay, I sat at my computer, wondering what the hell I was doing with my life, how I got so fat, and decided I had to quit cold turkey. So I did. The game was boring, it wasn’t the same, and I was sick of it and needed to be in shape to find love, attract a mate. So I became quite into basketball and sports in general in 8th grade, shaving my head to emulate Kobe Bryant, a famous basketball player for my home basketball team, The Los Angeles Lakers. 

3D Virtual Reality for Socialization and Life Training

Hello, humans.

It’s come to my attention that the absolute need to become an indoor species is becoming more and more obvious and prevalent not just by the day, but by the second. Human activity in densely populated areas is leading to the destruction of the atmosphere at a rapid pace. The rapid extinction of our species is shocking, horrifying, and obvious. Now, you can either fail to accept this, and die along with the hoard, or you can evolve and survive.

Humans obviously do not deserve to exist, as a whole. But do you? As an individual? Can you honestly say that you deserve to live, and have led a good life? I’d like to think at least one human creature reading this perhaps has, and can show any amount of interest in something as basic as learning. Step One : Do not Cheat at Video Games.

A common myth among human society is that video games are addictive, lowly, for lower levels of existence humans, without jobs, etc. However, this is not an accurate representation of what these are at all. I dare say video games program intelligence in as direct a manner as possible. It’s extremely simple. You cannot do something at first, have to learn how to do it, then you can do it. After doing this, you are a little bit more intelligent, a little better at learning things, a little better at working, and have an edge on all otber members of human society. You have, a real accomplishment, if you so much as defeat a single enemy in any video game, multiplayer or single player.

Last year, I purchased an Oculus Quest 2. I had loads of fun playing multiple games, namely Super Hot VR and Thrill of the Fight. I specifically bought this for the ability to play Thrill of the Fight, a boxing simulator I was extremely impressed by. To say this is some of the best fighting training in the world is an understatement. Even the lowest levels of VR have given us a boxing simulator capable of training punches, movement, dodging and defense, strategy, technique, bodily control, and get an extremely functional workout in that will leave you sweating bullets. Not even one year later, I found myself in a shockingly short stay in the highest level of federal prison in the United States. I’d say the boxing simulator is a factor in what helped me easily ward off and destroy my assailants using my bare hands, steroid boosted creatures who had obviously been given the okay to attack me as much as they wanted. This, probably did not work out for them.

Now, as to the implications of a three dimensional virtual reality headset that is actually functional. The Oculus Quest 2 is large, clunky, difficult to work out in, the screen is not nearly what it should be, and yet still, the implications are incredible. If you haven’t ever used one, I recommend you ask one of your friends to use theirs, or purchase one if you can afford it even just for these games alone. Another great part about virtual reality, is that instead of video games being the typical, sit on your ass with a sea of cups of ramen noodles and cheeto puffs, (A myth that is very accurate for things that cheat at the video games, missing out on all the positive aspects of, uh, actually playing the games), is that all video games suddenly become extremely valuable sources of cardiovascular exercise. Simply moving around in your room or apartment with an oculus quest is a killer workout. I believe a pair of digital gloves simply with sensors like that on the oculus will shatter the world.

Origin

Shadieu.com is my masterpiece, my one stop webpage into the white palace of my mind. It is dedicated to my fallen prince, me in the May of 2022, roaming and running around Europe, eating delicious food, being shockingly skinny. It was amazing. I was this!

I was a 22 year old boy, insecure about my cock and masculinity. I mean, it was good, but it wasn’t what I truly wanted. So I started doing cardio and stuff. Hmm.

I mean it’s the cold hard truth. But as I kept doing cardio, I found I was zen as fuck. I was like yeah. I would bounce around the town in the morning all through the spring, with beautiful flowers, trees, birds and lizards coming to visit me. Humans even weren’t too disturbing. But they became more, and more disturbing, and weird, every day I was this cute skinny hilarious creature.

I started a twitter account to flex on everyone how sick I was. I made a song called someday and it seemed I was a giga celebrity, which would make sense since that song is sick as fuck. I made it because I wanted to fuck my ex best friend’s girlfriend because he was creepy and lame as fuck. I also did it to express, no my cock is good. It’s ready, like it’s obviously well past good enough. But all my insights and messages have been messed with, obviously, since I mean I am this.

I mean I could still easily be this. Idk. Id probably just need to workout a lot, use a treadmill. Go sicko mode. Maybe sue some people cuz this shit I’m slinging is sick as fuck. I’m sure you all go broke as fuck on here. Which is, hilarious to me, since really I’m just coasting on how insanely talented I am. I mean I’m clearly just not trying that hard.

I wrote a book on here called Cat Story because I wanted to make a book. So I did. It’s pretty tight.

Anyways yeah I was this. It was pretty tight, being so skinny and hot. And fashionable. God, I am so fashionable. That’s why my stuff is good, you know.

I mean, check out that fit. You don’t just get to rock a bucket hat guys. That’s some baller shit. But I can. Also my hair was sick as fuck. I was really insecure about it since I failed to notice everyone else was actually bald af and literally wearing rotten infested wigs. So since I was this, and everyone else is something more pathetic than I can possibly comprehend or find any interest to understand, they were of course super weird about it and destroyed the world. I would also give advice on how to save the world like solar, windmills, watering plants, and they would get mad and make it worse. Every day humans drive their cars consciously to wage war on the environment and me. You see, I was this, and nobody was okay with this.

JONNY in ZENTERA

JONNY in ZENTERA 

∞

Trust your nose, and be unforgiving. 

It may sound cruel, but mistakes are not made by the pure of heart. 

JONNY LUCIFER SHADIEU 

Chapter 1 : Agoura Hills, California. 

        Jonny was a young boy who liked to be called Jonny. He had tan skin, beautiful black hair, an ominous set of brown eyes, a bright smile, and a family called the Sutcliffes. They lived in a one story house in a town called Agoura Hills, in California. It was an unassuming suburb, a short drive from Malibu and Zuma beach, where he attended elementary school. All his life he had wanted a cat, asked for one so many times, but his domineering parents never got him one, telling him he was demanding, spoiled, and expected too much out of them. They would say terrible things to this poor boy for not a single reason at all, abusing him for every little misaction they could possibly interpret - like not showing more interest in washing the dishes as a five year old boy. He would sometimes see cats on the street, and follow them around - he found them so beautiful. But they would disappear, as cats do, and not be seen again for long periods of time. Some stray cats would visit him on the street at times, and he’d enjoy petting them a moment - before his human neighbors would stare and gawk, making him uncomfortable and making him go away. 

          He did not care much for school. He was a gifted child, more than he could possibly know, and he liked to draw and play video games. He would draw in class, drifting away and listening to his teachers babble, staring at the girls in his class. He never got in trouble for this, just maybe they liked him. He managed to get his homework done one way or another, sometimes finishing it on his walk to school! He always managed to get As and Bs on his schoolwork, and didn’t engage in any sports. His parents didn’t think it was a good idea - for some reason, and never bothered to train him in anything. He was just a boy and didn’t mind. One day, he asked his mom to get him a game boy advance. She begrudgingly did it, because he was so annoying about it. He had seen some of his peers and friends playing Pokémon at recess, and was super jealous. He got his mom to take him to the game store, and got him a copy of Pokémon Emerald, a couple other basic Nintendo games, and a set of batteries. He said thank you, begrudgingly, always openly hating his mother, her brown skin, and being generally disgusted by his mom and dad. Jon D. Sutcliffe and Teresa V. Sutcliffe sat in the front of their car, complaining about their jobs and coworkers, telling Jonny he would never learn to work, and a lot of other nonsensical things, over the sound of Classical KUSC Los Angeles - a horribly boring music station. 

        He booted up his game boy, popped in the cartridge, and the sounds of Pokémon Emerald began to enchant his child mind. The Home Screen was opened, he fiddled around with the buttons, and found himself in the magical world of Pokémon on this short drive home! He was overjoyed. The thought of cheating at these games never crossed his mind once, and he was super happy to have an escape from his reality, even bothering to thank his awful tyrants of parents a couple times. The sounds of him battling Pokémon, losing repeatedly, winning eventually decorated the sound of their drive home, and his parents listened in enmity. Jonny hopped out of the car as they got home, said thank you and goodnight to his parents, begrudgingly let them kiss his head and said “love you”, as they made him, at the threat of verbal abuse, every single night, and played his Pokémon game under the covers for hours. He fell asleep after beating the first gym, in a magical wonderland, and escaping his hellish reality. 

          Unfortunately, or so they would have you believe, Jonny was hooked. He was losing interest in school, a previous straight A student in the first grade, and he was starting to get more B’s than A’s. His parents would express their disapproval at his report cards, telling him he’d end up a janitor or a plumber, to their young 6 year old prodigy. He took the abuse, with no choice, and went about his life avoiding everyone as much as possible. One day, after school, in middle March by Willow elementary, he went to the local park to sit down and play Pokémon. He was supposed to walk home from school, but he didn’t feel like it today. He sat down by a big oak tree, resting his back against it, and booted up his Gameboy. After losing himself, and beating a whole gym, he was halfway out of battery. He looked up after beating the fourth gym in the game, against the fire type leader, and found a black cat perched in the tree above him. He stood up, and looked at the cat. “Hello, Mr. Cat. How are you?” he asked aloud. The black cat’s haunting yellow eyes looked at the young boy in the creepy, chillingly beautiful and dark way a black cat’s eyes do, and he spoke to Jonny in his mind. “I’m okay. I’m a cat. Come up this tree, I have a game for you, and some things to tell you.” said the cat, in Jonny’s young but pure mind’s eye. Jonny climbed up the tree, from branch to branch, and perched next to the cat. “What is it, cat? What’s your name?” he asked. “Shadow.” said the cat. “Very cool. I wish you could be my cat, but my parents won’t let me have one, and you do seem to be just fine out here. What do you have to tell me?” the innocent young boy asked. “It’s about your family, for one, and every single little thing about your life. What if I told you, these things would be scared of a little cat like me? And honestly, Jonny - I run this place. I kill people all the time.” the cat expressed. He understood the cat must be capable of doing this, with his sharp claws, and even why he’d do it. But for some reason, the thought of humans being scared of animals never crossed his mind. He was much too busy, not being scared of animals, drawing, and playing video games - oh, and thinking about the pretty girls from his school, of course. “Well okay, Mr. Cat. I’m sure they deserve it, they’re so annoying and awful, but what should I do?” 

          “Come to this tree, in this clearing all you can, and listen to me. Do you hate your life Jonny? Does the food taste icky and gross? Does everyone seem to be jealous of you? Well, that’s well past being the case. There’s a faraway island called Zentera, inhabited by some of the most beautiful girls in the world, with soft pale skin and an amazing climate. They live with terrible men, and this place is unknown to others. I’ll even tell you, they sit around in their terrible lives waiting for a hero like you to save them.” said the cat. This cat was saying much and Jonny was learning fast… the food did taste icky, he didn’t like his mom’s food. He’d mostly eat prepackaged foods and was learning to cook for himself. “Zentera? An island? Well I believe you, of course, but how will I go?” he asked. “By boat, Jonny! Come to this clearing whenever you can, play your games, and we will launch our plan. Those beautiful black haired girls are waiting for you, and you don’t need school! I’ll tell you this, too. Beating those games, those gyms, and drawing things is actually quite good.” the cat expressed as he jumped out of the tree and into the forested land. The cat was gone, and Jonny really had to get home. He put his Gameboy in his bag, and had a clue about that icky food he didn’t like. Jonny scurried home, through the streets of Agoura Hills, as the wise owls and crows watched him from the trees and rooftops, thinking hard and ready to figure out how to beat the next gym leader! He wasn’t sure exactly what to do, but he’d figure it out! His mom was waiting for him at home, ready to question him. “And where were you, young man! Out stealing or something? God only knows what you’re up to!! You’re on time out!” she said as she shoved him into the room. “And give me this!” she said as she ripped the Gameboy advance from his bag. “You’re losing your damn mind!! Jon, what are you going to do about your son!” she screamed at her husband. Jon was an old white man, frail and weak, who liked to watch basketball, eat food, and play bridge online. “Jonny! Do your homework! Don’t get up to any nonsense anymore! You could get kidnapped for god’s sake!” he said as he slammed the door. Jonny reveled in horror at losing his Gameboy, not sure what to do with himself. Anything but homework… 

           Jonny opened up his snake book, alone in his room, excited to learn about the different snakes. “Haha! Loser lost his Gameboy!” his brother Harry said as he walked in their room. “Just leave me alone!!  I’m reading!!” Jonny let out, as Harry grabbed him and put his knees on Jonny’s shoulders, holding him down. Harry started punching his chest, beating him up, and Jonny was helpless unless he wanted to bite his older brother. Jonny sat there and took it, and Harry got off after awhile, making fun of him for getting lost and losing his Gameboy. Jonny hid under his covers in his room, and kept reading about his snakes, and Harry went to his room, up to whatever it is Harry did. “Jonny! Dinner!” yelled his mom from the kitchen. They were having pesto pasta and vegetables, a staple in their house. Jonny was unappetized by the smell, and sat down to eat. He begrudgingly took a couple bites as his mother looked at him strangely , and the timid young boy said something. “Did you… do something to this?” he asked. “What! What do you mean, young man? Are you accusing your mother of things?” asked Jon D. Sutcliffe. Teresa was an immigrant from the Philippines, and Jonny was always ashamed of his heritage. “I don’t know! It tastes weird.” he said. “How dare you! Eat all your food and be grateful! Where I’m from food is..” Teresa started as she went on her usual rant about how hard her life was. “Eat all your vegetables, young man, then you can have your little game boy back you need so desperately! Clean your plate!” she said. 

        Jonny looked at his food for awhile, back up at his super creepy parents for a second, back at the food, and thought of the game boy. He begrudgingly ate the food, unsure what the hell she was doing to this, and put his chair back in and asked to be excused as his mother did the dishes. He went to his room, bothered to do a bit of homework, and eventually she came in with the Gameboy. “What are you doing, with your life! Figure it out!” she said as she threw the Gameboy at him and slammed the door. Jonny was confused, uncaring about her normal insane behavior, and happy to have his Gameboy back. The food was making him gag, but he sucked it up with thoughts of Zentera, this mysterious faraway land he believed in, it becoming more and more obvious this cat was right - and he needed to escape. He was thinking about his crush, Emme, a brunette girl with pigtails he had barely worked up the courage to a couple times, as he played his games through the night. 

∞

          “It’s snot, Jonny. That’s what’s in the pesto. From the grocery store, and from your mother. And in the vegetables, and all the stuff, along with a whole host of other bullshit.” said Shadow. Jonny dry gagged and spit up a bunch of snot, while they perched in their spot on the tree, hanging out on a beautiful day in April. Birds, butterflies, bees and more decorated their stay in the clearing, off the side of the road in Agoura Hills. “Well… that explains that. I’m ready, Shadow, how do I go to Zentera. Please… tell me.” he asked. “Well, Jonny, keep in mind the world is not the same for you as it is for others. These humans, need these homes and weapons to protect themselves from animals. As far as the world goes, I don’t believe any animals will be giving you any serious troubles, and we will help you along the way. For starters, you’ll need a small boat. You can get a kayak from the store, right?” asked Shadow. Jonny thought for a moment, and remembered he could indeed purchase a small kayak from the local home improvement store for 200 dollars. He had saved up his little pittance his parents allotted him over the last couple months, and had 150 saved up. “You’ll have to lug it home on your back, just say you’re going to a movie or something.” advised Shadow, the large black cat with menacing oval eyes. “Okay, sounds good. I’ll skip lunch for a couple weeks and we should have it, Mr. Cat.” responded Jonny. Shadow had been giving him information on the reality of his situation, his lack of relation to his parents, and the imperative need to get out into the Pacific Ocean and live a good life. Zentera was supposedly deep in the pacific, to the southwest of Malibu, where he would be taking off. “The winds will guide your path and the universe will show you the way, my apprentice.” Shadow expressed. “I believe you, Mr. Cat.” Jonny had accepted this black cat as his master, and was fully in the swing of preparing to head off to Zentera. He had beaten Pokémon Emerald and captured Rayquaza using an ultra ball, after putting it to sleep. He had a whole host of Pokémon games he had “borrowed” from his brother, along with some other Nintendo games like Metroid, Super Mario, Zelda, and a few others. 

          Jon D. Sutcliffe and Teresa were planning a trip to Europe in the summer, and Jonny had no intention of coming along. The young boy had told them he had interest in learning to kayak, begging his parents to get him a kayak. They said, “If you can pay for it, you can have it! Save your allowance, 20 dollars a week plus five dollars a day for lunch! You should have it in no time!” expressed his father. Technically, he was right. He had received one hundred dollars for his birthday, from his millionaire parents, and had enough for a kayak. It was spring break, and one Friday afternoon he told his parents he was going to see a movie. A new Pixar film was out, and Jonny told them he had saved up to see it, and he’d walk all the way to the movie theater himself. “Well, okay! Just stay safe, and call on the cell phone if you need anything! Watch out for strangers!” expressed his mother. Jonny waltzed off to the movie theater, with no intention of seeing a movie that afternoon, and went to the local hardware store with his hard gathered 220 dollars. On his way, he even found a fresh 20 dollar bill on the floor! He was ecstatic, a huge stroke of luck as he got ready for his escape plan. The 6 year old boy with the beautiful black hair walked into the Do It Center, the local hardware store, and walked over to the recreation section. He eyed down the kayaks as strangers walked past, and luckily they came with paddles. One of them had room for two people and a little storage bin, where he thought he could put his stuff. It even closed up, and he thought it was perfect! He could fit a whole cooler and some more in this kayak. It was really really big though. He decided he could not possibly do this, and he might mess it up if he dragged it home. Luckily, there were 3 blue kayaks just like this in stock, and he had some time to get it. He decided to catch a film anyways, seeing how he found a fresh 20. Jonny was getting gaunt and skinny from skipping all his lunches, and nobody was sure what was up with him. He skipped over to the movie theater and decided to watch Spider-Man instead. He bought a big drink he could refill, and enjoyed the movie and his big drink, enthralled by the show, with his backpack in the seat next to him. He enjoyed being a kid, his fresh 20 having payed for his little night out, and went on his way home to tell his mother of his plan to buy a kayak. He was now on Pokémon fire red, and had much more to do. 

CHAPTER 2 : Escape Plan. 

          It was the middle of April, and June was coming fast. The Sutcliffes would be heading out on their trip around June 20th, right after Jonny’s 1st grade at Willow Elementary ended for the summer. His plans were hatching, and he had managed to get a cooler from the Do It Center at the guidance of Shadow. Shadow had warned Jonny he would not be along for the journey. Food should come to him, in one way or another, and he could subsist on sea water by leaving it in his mouth. He would need to stock up on basic weapons, like knives and spears. He had been “working” for his mother, mowing the lawn, doing the dishes, cleaning the house, basic chores, for some money. She would give him ten dollars an hour, and he was saving up. To a certain degree, Teresa was proud to see him showing good qualities and being nice and submissive, but she hated handing him the money. Jonny had placed orders on his family’s Amazon account for a spear, and 3 large knives. He had told her it was for his adventuring, as he had taken up hiking and backpacking by himself, while listening to music. One time, he even managed to catch a fish from a local stream using his own hands! Teresa had not much of an idea what he was up to, but Jonny was always a strange boy with strange interests. He coerced her into letting him get the spear and knives by handing her his hard earned money back to her, and she let it go after a few nights. He was getting closer. 

          “Well, water, Shadow. I guess that’s the primary concern.” Jonny had tried out the method of keeping the sea water in his mouth for a time, and it seemed to work. He was pretty sure he could stock up on enough food to last for awhile, and was saving up for a small fishing rod and tools. His mom had taken him to the store, and they lugged the big blue kayak into their family van by putting the seats down. “There, are you happy?! We did it! Always something new with you!” she yelled at him on the drive home. Jonny took his verbal abuse as he always did. He was starting to think this plan would work. With room for two passengers and even a decently sized storage compartment in his kayak, he had enough room to bring a bucket, a cooler, his weapons, a decent amount of food and water, and his fishing rod. He could definitely see this working. “You won’t be able to make it all the way to Zentera in one go, of course. Remember, the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. So go west, and a little bit south, at a 20 degree angle and you should start heading to the tropical region. Your first mission is to find a deserted island somewhere out there - the wind will show you the way.” Shadow said on one of their evenings, on a Saturday night in late April. The season was turning and the flowers were blooming, and Jonny was already almost done with Pokémon Fire Red. He just had to beat a couple more gym leaders. With the work from his mother, his amazing work ethic, skipping school lunches, and a bit of luck - he was stocking up on supplies. He got a ton of double A batteries to fuel his Game Boy Advance to entertain him on his journey, and a couple notebooks from the local Arts and Crafts store with writing and art supplies. This would be a journey, and this young boy was like a man at a horrifying pace, his jaw chiseled and his vision clear. But - not literally. Jonny did wear contact lenses, and this may be a serious problem. He had a pair of backup glasses, but obviously this may give him issues on his journey. However, the snot in the food was getting worse and worse after he started calling out Teresa for her actions every once in awhile. Jon D. Sutcliffe spent his days in a daze, on drugs, playing his bridge games and watching basketball as his young son practiced going without glasses and relying more on his other senses. Jonny figured, this would work. He could use his nose, and ears. 

          One day, Jonny feigned losing his glasses, on May 5th. He whined and begged, but he never cried. He said he might get lost on his way home from school, and he needed his glasses. He said he didn’t have the money to pay for it, spending everything on his art supplies. “God damnit Jonny!” yelled Jon D. Sutcliffe. “You need to learn how to take care of your possessions! For god’s sake! If you do this again, you’ll pay for your damn glasses out of your own pocket!” let out the domineering old man. “Well, we will take care of it tomorrow! I’ll schedule an appointment with the eye glass doctor. For god’s sake, Jonny!” he said while shaking his head. Jonny took this display of stupidity happily, it was exactly what he expected. His pair of glasses were smoothly hidden under his clothes in his closet, and they’d be getting a new pair tomorrow. Ideally - he wanted three. He went to the oak tree that night, after his family had fallen asleep by sneaking out, and told Shadow the good news. Shadow was pleased, and Jonny snuck back home after only seeing the cat a few moments. While he was there, he had asked about water from the ocean. “Coffee filters and a couple bottles, try it out. Don’t drink so much you die. Be smart.” answered the cat. He liked this idea and was ready to experiment, and the family had a trip to the beach planned for the weekend. He would bring a couple bottles, get some sea water, and try this out on his own. He didn’t have much money, after paying off the spear and knives, but he was still working and had even started stealing batteries and water bottles from the grocery store. He was a kid, and he knew it. What were they going to do about it? 

          Jonny and Harry were playing in the waves at Zuma Beach. The waves were big today, and the water was quite cold this time of year, and always. Jonny had spurred this little beach trip, with some begging and still no crying, and his family decided it was a good idea. Jonny was bodysurfing in the waves, swimming as they came and riding them into the whitewash, not paying any attention to his brother at all. It was really fun. He had the bottles filled up, two metal and a couple plastic, and they were ready in his backpack along with the coffee filters. He was ready to try it out. Shadow had said this was far from ideal, but was likely the best he could get in this situation, if he absolutely needed it. The filters would make the water somewhat better, and he could leave it in his mouth to survive if he ran out of water. He believed in himself and had no choice truly - it seemed everyone had totally lost their minds when he started calling out Teresa, and all the stuff in the grocery store was getting worse and worse! He had picked up a tarp, several pieces of rope, a space blanket, and some nifty inflatable pillows from the local camping store, and honestly he felt ready to go. Shadow had told him to practice putting the salt water in his mouth to increase his saline tolerance, remembering not to swallow. His training was going swimmingly and Shadow was impressed. The second pair of glasses was acquired and he was now in a much better situation. He had stolen so many batteries from the local stores he could play games for weeks, and was stocking up on crackers, preserved foods, and canned foods. He forgot to get a mess kit from the camping store! He’d have to get his parents to take him once again. He knew he’d need two anyways, and he didn’t have the money for it yet. On Jonny went, working and saving up his work and allowance money, his plan coming closer to fruition every day. By the end of May, he felt he was ready, but had to make absolutely sure before he parted from Shadow, Willow and the girls, and his life. He felt so lucky he could likely play his games on his journey. “Remember, Jonny. You’re not going to make it all the way to Zentera in one go. It’s good you have that big serrated knife, but honestly you’ll have to start figuring shit out. Things will go wrong, and you’ll have to survive through anything. Make sure that kayak and tarp go together well, or you’ll get wet or ruin all your stuff if you face any storms.” Shadow advised, one morning before school. 

          Jonny had thought of this, of course. Part of the reason it was so imperative for him to be able to see, was to find the first island he would be surviving on. There, he could survive on the moisture of the trees and have resources to make tools out of, and shelter. Shadow was a genius cat, and he was teaching the young boy everything he’d need to know at a shocking pace. By practicing tying knots, and implanting several hooks into the bottom sides of his kayak, he could tie the waterproof tarp to the top of the small boat, making it relatively waterproofed and capable of surviving a storm. It would also keep him warmer at night. Shadow came up with so many ideas for Jonny, and everything was degenerating in Agoura Hills so fast it was mattering less and less. It was obvious - he had to get out of there. The food was getting worse and worse, police cars would watch him on his walks for some reason, possibly they had heard he might be stealing, but he doubted it. Everything was getting really weird, really fast, and he was worried something might happen. He had set up his boat multiple times and it seemed great. His small fishing rod easily fit in the side, an expensive 200 dollar rod that was very thick, something Shadow told him he should get, so it would not break. He might be able to catch tuna or other mysterious sea creatures with this and it easily fit in the kayak. His water bottles fit in one large cooler in the second passenger seat, along with another cooler for the food items. He was, of course, stealing a ton of stuff, and taking 20 dollar bills every couple of days from his father’s wallet as he snoozed or was looking away. He remembered to bring a couple Harry Potter books and some fantasy novels he intended to read, like Warriors - a book series about cats that caught his eye, and honestly he was ready to go. The coffee water filters weren’t amazing, but thanks to these kayaks conveniently supplied and his apprenticeship with Shadow, a single small water bottle could subsist the young man for multiple days. Just needed to get to that island.. 

∞

          One day, or evening rather, as Jonny came home from hanging out with his cat friend Shadow, a police car was stopped outside his house in Agoura. Jonny was extremely concerned, but not sure what to do. Everyone had totally lost their minds, so he decided to come by and check out the situation. He went by the front of his house, hid behind some bricks, and listened to the conversation. “He’s.. working much too much, making a lot of money, and he spends a lot of time out doing god only knows what! I’m concerned for his mental health, and I think he needs treatment.” he heard Teresa say. Jonny wasn’t too concerned - it was nothing about his stealing ways, and anyways, they really couldn’t do much to him seeing how he was 6 years old and never stole too much at one time. “We understand, ma’am. He must have some kind of disorder or mental health problems. We will take him to the mental health facility for children and get him diagnosed and medicated.” said the police officer's voice. “Shit,” thought Jonny. “No games for a couple days and these things. I better just come in, we’re almost ready.” Jonny walked in the house, innocently, waving to the policemen as they stopped him. “Sorry, bud, we heard you’ve been having some mental health issues and are going out an awful lot? Your mom says you need treatment, we’re going to have to take you into the mental facility for awhile. Is that alright with you?” asked the policeman to the young boy, with his backpack on. “What! No! I’d really rather not do that.” Jonny looked at his mom in disgust, what the hell was going on! She failed to look back at him or acknowledge what he was saying and said, “Just take care of him. He needs help.” Jonny was horrified, as the policemen started to grab him and put him in handcuffs. He would have run away, but all his stuff was so close. They pinned the young boy to the ground, put him in handcuffs, tied his legs, and threw him in the police car violently. They waved goodbye to Teresa, as they watched their “mentally unhealthy” son leave, this of course just being about the fact he was making hundreds of dollars doing menial chores for pitiful wages… 

          Jonny spent a few days in the mental hospital, being forced to take anti-psychotic medication, and managed to escape after calling his mom and begging to come out, saying he was scared of the doctors. Teresa was desperate; and lonely, and gullible, so she came to pick him up. Jonny’s plan was mostly ready, he even managed to have another camping bag and his mess kits at the end of May. He was going to get nets for fishing, but they’d have to wait. He was absolutely done and had to go - as soon as possible. His kayak was packed, he even had multiple ropes, as he had gotten them, and a bunch of other stuff he cleverly packed along with a makeshift mechanism so he could both sit on the tarp, and easily cover the kayak when he needed to sleep or weather a storm. His mother drove him home, saying “we hope you’ve learned your lesson”, “it’s for your own good” and the like. Jonny began to execute one of the final nails in his plan against his family. “Can I sleep with you guys tonight? I’m scared and have been having nightmares from the mental hospital. Just tonight, please mom?” he begged, still never crying. “Well, for tonight, okay! You can take the sofa! I’m glad you’ve learned your lesson.” she said as they pulled into the driveway, the young man feeling raped and over everyone’s shit. 

          He slept on the sofa, in his hospital gowns, after spending some time in his room tossing some clothes and other supplies into his two bags and coolers, ready to escape that very night and execute his coup de grace. His kayak was all packed up and covered, his rows inside along with his entire personal setup. He put his Gameboy in the personal entertainment cooler, atop its big mountain of Double A batteries, ready to be lightly brought into his Mom’s van. This was a heavy kayak, and despite his gaunt body, Jonny was strong and capable. Into his “parents” room he went, as they were already asleep, lying asleep on the sofa with his blankie, exhausted and just waiting for them to fall asleep more. After 2 or three hours, they were snoozing. Game time. He grabbed his mothers car keys by walking silently and barefoot in the dead of night, and smoothly holding onto them in his palm so they wouldn’t jiggle and make noise. With his blankie on his back, he silently and carefully opened the door as to not wake them up, and escape out the front door of his house. This part was done. The kayak was ready, by the door of the garage, and he had the issue of bringing it to the van. He had thought of this, of course, and gently brought the kayak on top of his blankie and began to drag it out. He opened the door, and brought it to the trunk of the car. After unlocking it, which made a tiny beep, he lifted it up by the front in a deadlift like position, and got one side into the van. Then, he went to the backside and pushed the rest of the kayak into the car, with the front seat forward. It fit just as it had, when they had brought it home and he had sat in the trunk. He closed up the trunk, his whole survival kit ready to go, and got ready to drive the first time in his life. Ideally this would be quiet, and luckily the car was parked on the street and not on the driveway, making him feel safer doing this. He hopped in the driver's seat, adjusted it a bit. He knew the mirrors had to be adjusted to see to his right and left, as he had asked his mother and father on drives he was subjected to the last couple months. He was asking them all about how to drive, and apparently you just switch it into reverse, drive, park, et cetera and spin the wheel, along with hitting the gas and brakes. He fiddled around with this, mimicking how they drove away, and luckily could just drive away. He knew the route to Zuma Beach and headed out, at 2:23 in the morning.

∞

          Jonny was, unsurprisingly, very good at driving, and only a couple other cars drove by him on the roads, as he safely drove on Kanan road to Zuma beach. Shadow was gone, their plan ready, and he was totally over his family and community. He had sufficient supplies, and two packed bags, his school backpack and a camping backpack he got for trips. He rued the lack of a net, but he had to go, now. Jonny pulled up to the side of the road of Zuma Beach at 2:55 in the morning, and immediately got to work, his emaciated body made strong by adrenaline. He popped the trunk of the van after fiddling around with the keys and buttons, and shut the car off by turning the key, like his parents had done when they drove. Using his blankie, as to not scratch the bottom of the boat, he pulled it out using his full body weight and lay it on the side of the road. He had a long journey of 100 meters to the beach shore, and he had to get it down the side of the Zuma Beach parking lot. Step by step, he pulled it, bracing his back and exerting all his force, pull by pull. After 20 minutes of pulling and pulling, he was finally at the seashore. He tossed his blankie into the storage compartment of his blue kayak, and stopped to eat something. He got a small snickers bar from his bag, and took a sip of water, exhausted from the ordeal - only having made it out of the mental hospital that very night! 

          The tide was low, and the waves were 1-2 feet high. He’d have to make it past the wave line, where the waves began, around 300 meters out. These were small waves, but they’d give him problems. Shadow had warned him about this and he was ready for it, all his belongings safely stored and in the coolers. After making sure the oars were ready, along with an extra oar he got just in case, he was ready to head out. He pushed the kayak into the ocean, and jumped in, in his black basketball shorts and white t-shirt. He got his feet a bit wet, lucky it was a low tide and shallow water. The boy got to work on making it past the waves, paddling with all his might, grabbing one oar and rowing from one side to another. He made it 100 feet out, and a wave crashed into the kayak, getting him kind of wet and sending him back 40 feet. The boy was mighty and courageous and kept going, making it a bit farther before another wave got him. This processed repeated, and though he was wet, he was not soaked as he made it past the break line and into the open sea. The wind was kind of strong, as it usually was on the coast of California, but there weren’t any more breaking waves to worry about. He reached for a can of Coca Cola, drinking it and paddling on, side to side, into the night as the full moon hung high in the sky. The boy was off, unsure which direction he was going, through the mildly choppy waters as the stars in the night sky lit his path. Back at home, Teresa and Jon slept soundly, completely unaware their “son” was on his way, and done. Shadow knew of Jonny, and he believed his prodigy was ready to take on the sea and find the lost island of Zentera. 

Chapter 3 : A Day On the Pacific

          When Teresa awoke the following morning, at 5:00 A.M. to make her commute to work, she found the vehicle was missing, along with Jonny and her keys. She thought he had gone back to his room or something, and came back in the house screaming, calling the police and sending the neighborhood… and the whole country… and world… into a frenzy, searching for the lost boy low and high. Jonny may have been somewhat famous, little did he know. We will spare you the details. 

          Jonny awoke to a blue tarp covering his kayak, floating on a relatively calm sea. He had his air pillows supporting his head, light sleeping back, and some back support, and it wasn’t too bad. After making it out well past far enough, to the point the beach and land were well past the horizon, Jonny set up his kayak and fell asleep, not even bothering to play any games. He was scared, of course, but happy. He grabbed one of his many water bottles from the floor of the kayak, and took a sip. He felt Shadow was still with him, guiding his path. After taking a moment to wake up, he pulled back the tarp to the kayak, and took in his surroundings. He had went well past the islands off the shore of Malibu, and there was nothing in sight but blue. The sun was high in the sky, it was already almost mid day, and he took some time to watch it as he oriented himself. He saw it was going behind him, and he was somehow still oriented to the west. Shadow had said west, by 20 degrees south to come closer to Zentera. He didn’t bother with the 20 degrees and just paddled, for hours and hours, rowing from side to side, over mildly choppy seas, the sun beating down on his face and his childish complexion becoming rough and masculine, very fast. Only some crackers and water fueled the boy as he worked, for hours and hours, with nothing to see but some rolling clouds and open waters. After a few hours, a pack of dolphins came by to say hello. 

          The boy was out on his first day at sea, and the animals were sticking by him as he floated along, just kind of drifting for a while as he rested his tired arms. As he had practiced with Shadow, he tried to talk to the animals. “Hello Dolphins!” he said in his rugged but young voice. “How are you!” he shouted out, tiredly. “We’re well.” they said as they swam and jumped around the kayak. “Come in, Jonny! Leave the boat for a spell, while the water isn’t too rough. You’ll find a fish down here, or an octopus! Leave the glasses and get your spear!” they expressed to the boy in his perfect mind’s eye. Jonny was not one to lolligag, and he had already been getting undressed in the nude to poop in the ocean, and peeing off the side of his little boat. He quickly took off his clothes, revealing his body to the ocean sunlight, and jumped in the water feet first. The dolphins continued to swim and play and squeak as he dived down, holding his spear, kicking the water with his feet and looking around. Down he went, and he was surprised to find a large school of unknown fish swimming around, as the dolphins chased them too and caught them with their mouths. Jonny swam up to one, careful not to spook it, and attempted to stab it with the spear in one motion. He missed, and it swam away, and the rest of the fish swam farther away from him. He repeated the process a couple times, missing but coming very close each time, before the fish all seemed to disappear. He resurfaced for air after every attempt, and after 5 repetitions, he could not find any more fish. He was a bit defeated, but well past prepared just with the supplies in his little boat. Realizing it was time to hunt, he decided to take some big breaths of air on the surface, and swam down to see how long he could go, and how much water pressure his body could tolerate. He did this only 3 more times, leaving the spear back in the boat, getting all the way up to a minute and 30 seconds, or more, by the third repetition. He swam back up, to rest his body a bit and eat some food, letting the sun dry him off. He did bring a couple small hand towels, but he saved them for now. 

        The sun made him sufficiently dry within 30 minutes, as he lay down, his skin rapidly becoming bronzed and harsh. He had no regrets. There was something incredibly calm, about the sound of the ocean waves, the animals who would come to visit him, the breaching whales in the distance, the little fish that swam away, and the whole atmosphere of the situation. He continued rowing as the sun came closer to setting in the sky, with a couple more hours of daylight. On to the west he went, on his first day at sea, the past and his old life already a distant memory, the future impossible to know, but at least he felt for once - he was in control, and his life was his, and his alone. The dolphins were out in the distance , jumping out of the water, swimming towards the setting sun, when suddenly a large thresher shark burst out of the water next to him as he rowed, flopping around a bit and displaying it’s beautiful body and long tail, flying through the air, next to his boat. The boy sat there in a trance, unafraid, as the large shark fell back into the sea. He looked down and stopped rowing a moment, as the shark disappeared from his vision. He took a moment to appreciate the beauty of what he had just experienced, and continued rowing on to the west, as much as he could before the sun set. For a couple hours more it was like this, his boat fishless and his body emaciated and tired from all the hard work. The sun started to set in the sky, as the winds picked up, making the waves more powerful. He knew this could happen, and would happen, and he set up his tarp and secured his belongings as best he could, not bothering to take in the sunset. Dark clouds began to roll in as the atmosphere had a haunting presence, the once beautiful ocean turning into a nightmare quickly. He knew this was only the beginning, as his boat began to sway over the growing waves. Under the tarp he went, scared and unsure what to do. He secured the top of the boat with the tarp as well as he could, as rain began to pour from the sky as the sun slipped into the sea. Perhaps this night, was only beginning, and he had no chance of sleep as he went up and down on ever growing waves. 

        He got out a couple of packages of crackers, to help him deal with the stress. “The hunting wasn’t too bad.. I was very close. I bet soon we could get those fish, I just need to practice my diving and scavenging. Right now, we just need to survive this night.” As he thought this, rain was pouring down on the tarp, and Jonny had a bright idea. He had a small bucket, where he was keeping his water bottles, and he decided he should fill it up. Though the waves were big, maybe 10-15 feet swells, they were not crashing, and his boat was simply going up and down. This gave him a nasty headache, but it was much better than being slammed underwater or having his boat get filled up or something. An hour into this repetitive, brutal experience, he had managed to not sleep at all. His electronics and drawing supplies sat safely in the storage compartment, in coolers, and he kept his eye on them. Emptying the bucket’s water bottles onto the floor of the kayak, he timidly reached out of the kayak and unfastened one side of the tarp. Making a small opening, and holding it open, he brought out the bucket to catch the pouring rain as his blankets in the corner of the kayak began to get kind of wet. For 30 full minutes, Jonny sat in this position, with no end to the storm in sight. Painfully slowly, but surely, the rain pitter pattered down into the bucket, filling it up centimeter by centimeter every couple of minutes. He had filled it up almost half way, but not quite after 30 minutes, and decided to pull it back in so as to make sure it wouldn’t spill. He brought it back into the kayak, delighted to find fresh rainwater in his bucket, and safely back in his kayak - though his blankets were unpleasantly wet now. He dipped a couple of his smaller plastic water bottles into the bucket, to empty it in and make sure it didn’t spill. He managed to fill up 3, but it was only the first night on his first full day out, and he didn’t have much room. The bucket would have to go. He decided to just drink the rest of the bucket water right then and there and refill it with the water bottles scattered on the floor of the large kayak. He did this, as the storm raged on, not becoming more dangerous, but still being horribly unpleasant. He secured the tarp and went back inside, incapable of doing anything, but very well hydrated with the fresh water. The worst part, he believed, was the plastic from the bucket. However, he was grateful to get some kind of light out of this terrible situation, almost all of his water bottles back to being full again. On and on the storm went, the rolling waves bringing him up and down on the windy sea, the rain coming down on his tarp and into the sea, getting all his stuff unpleasantly wet as it kept going for hours and hours. All through the night under the beautiful night sky he could not see, as the waxing moon danced through the sky, the storm raged and he didn’t get even a moment's sleep. He just lay there, thinking, thinking of what to do, thinking of how to survive this and make the best of it he possibly could, thinking of the future, and leaving his past behind him. When you are out at sea, alone, survival is the only thing that could possibly matter. 

♾️

          The morning came and the sun shone through the tarp, emanating a bright blue light into the boy's eyes. He somehow fell asleep, and did not remember it. It seemed the storm had subsided and there was barely a wave or gust of wind in the great Pacific, somehow. He was uncovered, his body brutalized, and he had no interest in rowing some more, as his arms were so sore they felt like they might just come off! Figuratively, of course, but in other words he was quite tired, and may injure himself if he kept on rowing like this, especially after such a brutal night. His blankets were wet and unpleasant, but the sun was back, and he was very surprised at how hydrated he was after drinking from the bucket the previous night. He had no need to pee, yet, but for the first time since a while ago in his training with Shadow, he was excessively hydrated. He decided to give his shoulders and elbows a break today, simply letting the little boat drift along as it would, sometimes gazing out into the horizon to see if there was any uninhabited islands. He still was not close at all to the tropical region Shadow had talked about, the water and air still harsh. He undid his tarp, and revealed the top of the boat as he got to work today. Overall, he had done quite well considering the unlucky storm, and the cracks of thunder that had spooked him in his sleep. He took his clothes off, getting naked, and lay them at the front of the kayak to dry, along with the blanket on the back. Naked, gaunt, bronzed and matured, the 6 year old boy stood up and stretched his body a bit. Though he wanted to try to spear more fish, he really had to give his body a break. He decided, after such a brutal night, he had earned some fun. I mean, there was no one around to please anyways. As far as he could tell, the world was his, no matter how small, pitiful, and wet it was. A pack of dorado swam right past his boat, and he quickly reacted by grabbing the spear and stabbing it into the water at one of the fish. He had a stroke of luck, and he felt the spear pierce the flesh of one of the fish as it struggled. He failed to pierce it all the way through as it swam away, but it was mortally wounded and weakened. Into the water he lept, his adrenaline pounding, losing all awareness of his previous soreness. The salty ocean water penetrated his nostrils as he chased this fish as fast as he could, a knife in his hand, as he swam to the best of his ability at the bleeding fish. 

          It started to go down, its pack leaving it behind, slowing down and weakening as it swam off balance. It had been stabbed in the tail, a deep wound, as Jonny caught up to it with his awkward, knife holding swim. He got it, and stabbed it in the throat, killing it and feeling the life leave its body. He was naked, with nowhere to keep the knife, and his boat was now 100 meters away. He knew sharks could smell blood from miles and miles away, and hurriedly grabbed the fish and swam as best he could back to the boat, desperately. Kicking and kicking, he arrived safely, with no sharks in sight, and the pack of dorado tuna long gone. He couldn’t possibly believe his luck, finally realizing he had won so soon, in such a big way. The fish was beautiful, not too big, but still! He had a fish, on only day 2 at sea, and his spear using skills seemed to have improved. He was already swimming like a shark in the water, rapidly adapting to his environment and evolving. He put his knife down and took in the dead fishes’ corpse with his eyes and nose. It smelled beautiful, making him ravenous, and he immediately got to work at flaying the side muscles of the fish off. He messed up a bit, hitting some of the bones, but he was desperate and it smelled so amazing. He took a bite out of the side of the fish, putting his knife down, and found it tasted beautiful. He chomped and chomped, and chewed, not even bothering to clean it, as its guts and organs fell out onto his naked lap. He threw them overboard, and quickly ate a quarter of the whole fish. It was big - dorado are big fish, and he would have good food for awhile now. He was amazed at how beautiful the raw, fresh fish was, straight out of the water. Jonny took some time and effort to make strips out of the remaining meat, around 3/4ths of it was left, as he lay them on top of the clothes at the front of the boat, to be cured by the sun. He took a moment to calm down, rest, and digest his food, the beating sun lulling him to sleep over the calm seas. 

∞

          Jonny was in a dream, working the furnace in the boiler room of a large ship. His face was greasy, his hair falling off in the harsh conditions, and he was alone providing power to the whole ship. He could hear the captain yelling some orders at the crew mates, something about sharks circling the ship. He kept working, the poor boy, his head shaved in this dream realm. On and on he went, piling the coals and stoking the flames in his denim overalls, when suddenly he heard a bang at the side of the ship. It was extremely loud and powerful, something must have clearly gone wrong, and the entire ship started to tilt in its axis. He heard nothing from the crew as he put down his shovel and went to check out the sound. He closed the door to the furnace room behind him, going to check out the scene just in case. To his shock, as he turned the halls of the ship, a huge opening was bored into the side of the hull and water was pouring in at an astounding rate. Before he knew it, the water was all the way up to his knees. The furnace was going to go out and he had to get out of there. He ran up the steps in his coal stained overalls, and went to alert the captain. “Captain! The hull has a breach! We’re going down!” shouted the young boy. “Jonny! What the hell are you doing up here! Get down there and work the furnace, or we will never make this shipment in time!” yelled the likeness of Jon Dobbin Sutcliffe from the captain’s room. As he said this, the ship was sinking more and more to the side, and sharks were circling around in the water. The metallic scent of blood filled the air, and Jonny looked to the side of the ship to find a crew mate’s corpse actively being ripped apart by a pack of sharks. Jon Dobbin Sutcliffe, the captain, payed it no mind and didn’t even seem to notice, as the ship sunk further and further. Jonny decided there was nothing to do but get away, as he jumped feet first into the ocean and began swimming for his life. His denim overalls held him back and weren’t good to swim in, but he kept going for hundreds of meters before looking back. Blood was filling the water, its scent emanating and powerful. Jon D. Sutcliffe stood in the captain’s room, unaware, as the crew’s agonized screams filled the air. Jonny turned away, kept swimming and awoke from the dream. 

∞

          Jonny awoke from the dream, the sun still beating down on his face, his skin becoming more and more used to the constant exposure. He felt healthy, and strong, the body of the fish giving him strength, life, hydration, and intelligence. “Damn! Should have kept the guts for bait!” he thought to himself as he looked at the fishing rod. The sea was still calm, his slices of Dorado fish hanging out on top of his clothes, which were now dry. He decided to save them for later, he was not hungry, and had a long, long distance go go. He had perhaps made it 100 miles or so, spending much of his initial time and energy rowing away from the mainland for his life. His body was still sore, of course, as it always would be on this perilous journey, but after tasting the fruits of the strong fish’s body, he was ready to row. He began to whistle the tunes to some Beatles’ songs he had heard in his life, like Yellow Submarine, Yesterday, In My Life, and many more classics, go entertain him as he rowed, from left to right, towards the falling sun.  Whistling and singing, the boy was quite a sight to see. On and on he went, as rugged as can be. With the setting sun and the calmed seas, he rowed for an eternity. Hours and hours, came and went, but on his path, he was hellbent. 

          Hours and hours came along, some animals playing in the distance, a couple small pitiful sips of water and not much food at all fueling his skinny yet powerful arms. Thoughts came and exited his mind, but he was in a high state of meditation, as one always is when graced with the presence of the ocean. But here, together with the goddess for so long, his meditative state was much more powerful. An hour passed, and nothing but a couple rolling clouds and a few large swells passed the boy, rowing from right to left. His arms were becoming more and more used to the motion, he began to get his back and body more into it, bracing his feet into the floor of the big blue kayak. “For a second, do I wonder why I left? Is not, even an ounce of control, the most heavenly gift one can possibly have?” he thought to himself. As the hours passed, he had made it many more miles out, and it was time to rest. He had a couple of the small slices of fish, and bagged the rest into one of the coolers, a divine gift that would sustain him for many days. He pulled out his Gameboy, the sun an hour or two away from setting, and lay back in his big boat, popping a fresh pair of batteries in. It had survived the storm, with multiple levels of protection including plastic bags, and the charming digital sounds delighted his weary head and arms. Though matured, heartless, and brutal, he was still just a kid. He had fire red in and he was just getting started, feeling so happy to have earned this fun time and escape from reality from his hours and hours of rowing in the sun. Before the sun set, after beating a gym in the game, he decided to start taking notes in one of his notebooks using a pencil. 

          “I’ve made it out deep into the ocean and I don’t think anyone wil find me here. It’s ben 3 days and there was a scarey storm. I hid in the boat an codnt sleep at all. Now it is beter the water is warmer an the sea is not so big and scary. I mis shadow and feel really alone an tired, scared sometimes, I hope I find Zentera but I codnt stay home. I caut a Fish today and it tasted reely good an I cod row all day. I’m tire now an just wan to play my game. I’m sick of the ocean sometimes. sometime it is nice when the animal come to say hello, other times I get lonelee and Mis going to school and seeing Emme. But maybe I wil get used to it. - Jonny, day 3 

          Jonny closed his journal and returned to playing his game, as the sun started to set and he couldn’t see the unlit screen anymore. He also had a little night light he could use that took batteries also, but he decided he had had his fun and packed it up again. He thanked the moon and stars that he had made it this far, that he and his boat survived the storm, that he had animals to come visit him every once in awhile, and of course for the strips of fish in a plastic bag in his cooler. He managed to stand up in the little boat, able to stretch his body and legs, which he did for a long time. He wasn’t sure if the boat was a kayak, canoe, or just a boat, or something in between the two, but he guessed any name would suffice. It was kind of like a hybrid between the two, he guessed. With his legs and arms stretched and nothing else to do, he put up his tarp and got ready for sleep, still awake. His penis and balls were growing and he was starting to discover his body. He had watched some porn and found some images back at home, only recently, and had some kind of idea what sex was. As he lay awake, he was thinking of his teachers, women he knew, and girls in his class, and their butts, pretty faces, and bodies. His penis grew and he started to touch it. It felt good. The meat and sunlight made it hard and he started to stroke it. He used a couple fingers to masturbate his adolescent penis, thinking of his crush back at school and taking off her skirt or short shorts. He stroked and stroked, for a couple minutes, before feeling the need to go faster and faster, his first ever load of cum from masturbating coming out of his penis. He suddenly felt a lot calmer, and could fall asleep, the white viscous liquid on his bare belly, unsure of how to clean it and not disgusted by it at all. He fell asleep, under the tarp, in case the night became harsh. He drifted away, only perturbed by a few moments of wind and waves in his sleep. 

Chapter 4 : Fishing 

          The sun penetrated the tarp of the kayak and Jonny awoke from his slumber, his eyes opening slowly with his head against the air pillows. It was day four, and last night he had thought of fishing today. As the sun arose, low in the sky, he decided to try it early in the morning. He had some vague memory that fishing was supposed to be good in the morning and around sunset, and he wanted to test it out. A foggy mist hung on the sea as he undid the fastening to his tarp and got ready to take on his day of work, towards the mysterious isle of Zentera. He grabbed his fishing rod, set it aside, took a few sips of water, and got a fishing handbook he had brought along from one of his bags. He started the morning reading the instructions on how to tie a hook in. The instructions to a “clinch knot” was the recommended  way to secure hooks to line, and he began to practice with his line and hooks. Unspooling a bit of lead from his already set up rod, he began to tie a hook when he realized he would also need his sinker, of course. He would need a three way swivel, a couple clinch knots, and a heavy sinker for these deep waters. How deep he should go, what he was fishing for, he didn’t know. Just… something. Practice. 

          After tying a three way swivel to his main line attached to the rod, he cut off a couple shorter pieces of fishing line to the and tied in a large, lead, oval sinker and one of his many hooks. He would need to be careful with his limited supplies, as always. He closed up his fishing bag, a smaller separate bag, putting the fishing handbook into it as well. Into the storage compartment it went, in an unused corner, and Jonny grabbed one of his small plastic bags with Dorado strips to use as bait. Closing the door to the storage compartment, he went back to his rod to check his knots. All three were in and his line was untangled, held together by three seemingly secured clinch knots. He remembered to be careful not to reel in too far, at the danger of ruining his rig. Casting was a subtle skill, not too difficult and perhaps not even necessary, but it was quite fun. He had gone fishing with his family a couple times, one of his relatives was very gung ho about it and showed him the ropes. He had forgotten, only a child, but he turned through his memories in his mind’s eye and remembered the act of casting. There was only one way to learn, and that was practice. He remembered, a bad cast would result in a “birds nest”, or the spooled line on his rod become tangled and hard to deal with. He would have to pull it all out, or worse, if this happened, so he tried to be very careful. Without even bothering to put bait on, he practiced his casts a bit, wearing a light waterproof jacket that had served him well on cold mornings and bitter nights. With his hood on, still early in the morning, he released the line to his rod and let the sinker into the sea, sitting down with his legs crossed and watching the sinker fall into the sea. It came off the line, swaying from right to left, as he had left it the last time he used his thick fishing rod. He was beginning to run out of line before hitting the bottom of the sea, seriously concerning and quite scary, but understandable. He pulled up his line all the way, guiding it from side to side with his left thumb, as it came out of the ocean with a little drip. With his rig intact, he took a small piece of Dorado strip and attached it to his hook, looping it in for security. Jonny brought his fishing rod back out, and began swaying his sinker and baited hook from side to side a couple times, getting used to the feeling of the rod. With a couple sways, he was ready for his first cast, flipping the switch to unlock his line as he imperfectly timed it, the rig only getting out a couple feet but still falling into the sea without any major issues. He let it down and down, maybe 200 feet or so, and stopped his spinning reel as he began to wait for a nibble. He never cared much for fishing. It could be very fun, and very rewarding, especially considering his given circumstances. But there was always the chance of sitting there, for hours, moving from spot to spot, not even feeling a nibble, and feeling your time was wasted and going unfed. This had happened a couple times on his fishing trips with his family. A boring sport, but perhaps it was just a lack of skill or understanding. The way Jonny saw it, everything was an art form, and you could always be better at things. 

          After an hour of bringing his line up, moving, recasting, fixing a couple birds nests, and feeling only a couple nibbles, he decided to put the fishing rod down and secure the rig. He put it down, somewhat defeated, as one always is when things don’t go your way, but happy to feel the sun coming up and the warmth come to his skin, allowing him to remove his jacket and wear one of his many light workout shirts. Back to rowing he went, on to the west, as the fourth day started. He wondered, would he ever find Zentera? It had seemed so long already, his old life already fading in his memory. The loneliness was harsh, and cruel, but he was actually feeling a little better. His glasses had been in their cases pretty much the whole time, except when he was purposefully looking out for any potential small islands. However, he was still not extremely far out, and not aware of his surroundings. He could potentially be seen and taken in by some police boat or someone else, and he’d like to avoid that and get to Zentera. So the boy paddled, from right to left, over calmish seas once again, pondering if there really was a giant squid in the ocean as he had seen on his favorite Animal Planet documentaries. He looked down into the depths unknown, before getting scared and creeped out, and focusing more on the surface, where he felt safe. The realization that his whole line didn’t reach the bottom of the ocean was really scary to Jonny. Who knew what was down there? 

♾️

          Row row row, that’s all the boy did know. The sun came up and went down again as Jonny delved deeper into the depths of Zen, at a shocking pace. The loneliness creeped into his bones like an infestation, sadness and pain becoming a standard, becoming a new normal. The loneliness was overwhelming, but he was a strong young man with extreme resilience. His life was over, he was no longer an innocent child going to school, taking little tests, playing games and eating dinner with his family. He was now like a man, battle tested and becoming stronger by the minute, something else to behold every single day. The hours passed by on the fourth day as the sun came up, and went down again as he could row for longer and longer, his arms becoming sinewy and powerful despite their small size. He would sing songs to himself, thinking of Beatles songs and humming the tunes, and began writing his own pieces since he had nothing else to do. He came up with a little song in his time rowing today. 

“I’m on the sea, oh

I’m on the sea, woah 

Just running away from home! 

To Zentera, I will go - oh 

And I’ll find my own new Rome! 

I’ll build house out of straw 

I’ll eat fishes and fruits and ants, raw! 

I wanna go, I wanna go 

So sun, guide me home!” 

          These were the words to his little song, and it brought joy to his harsh life. He was tired. The sun was still somewhat high in the sky to stop working, and he was in a moment of tranquility, but totally exhausted. He had managed to become somewhat comfortable in the boat, his body adjusting to the sway and drifting. The sea was still and a school of fish swam below him. He was sad, profoundly sad, deeply sad and there was no catharsis, no hope, only dismay. This life of pitiful loneliness and struggle, was terrible. Did he make a mistake? Did he walk into the depths of insanity for no reason? No. He knew exactly why he did this, and it was disgust. Here, at least he had his pitifully small, but clean boat. Not enough entertainment, but enough to be very grateful for. He missed Shadow. He missed going to school and seeing the girls. He missed being in his room, alone, and playing games. He missed solid ground. And sometimes, you just need to be sad. He lay down on his open tarp as rolling, heavenly clouds passed by, colored a deep, creamy shade of orange by the setting sun. The water was the same, cold and harsh, and he was in a kayak. So… he had a long way to go. A long, long way to Zentera. And his arms, his back, his whole body, sore beyond belief with not much room for respite. His life on the sea was like an extreme level of torture, but there was something so surreal about it. The young man had the air of a complete Zen Master, as he lay down, not bothering to watch the sunset or cover his boat, just laying there with his eyes open in his wet oversized shirt and basketball shorts. Tonight, joy was not had. Jonny was depressed, an obvious side effect of the sheer loneliness, but he was not weak, or pathetic. His visage held an air of undeniable respectability at all times. He lay there like a skeleton, suffering yet present and alert, all through the night, until after a long while he fell asleep. 

∞

          On the fifth day, Jonny rested. He dreamed of beautiful things and had a deep, yet brief sleep, before some mild waves woke him up around sunrise. He felt happier after resting, and didn’t pound the paddle too much today, just keeping himself on course for southwest and playing some games on his Gameboy Advance to pass the time. It was a good day, he wasn’t suffering too much, and he felt happy. The waves were mild, not tranquil, but not a nightmare. 

∞

          And on the sixth day, he awoke a new man, used to the suffering, yet of course still physically just a boy. He was reinvigorated, soreness and emaciation was a simple fact, and his sinewy arms were becoming stronger and more powerful. He still had a lot of dry fish, it was actually pretty good and unspoiled, and he wasn’t too concerned about any supplies as of now, still with plenty of water and food. The fish truly saved his life, when he came by his boat. Filled with impatience and a lust for solid ground, for an island, a private deserted island. Though his vision was not sharp, he could make do of it and kept his glasses safe in the storage compartment. He got his paddles at the crack of dawn and began rowing to the southwest, at a horrifying pace. 

          His arms would row the water from right to left, right to left, as he silently worked in his finely bronzed skin. The boy and his boat looked like a shark already, effortlessly gliding over the seas and swells in the depths of the Pacific. He remembered what Shadow had told him, to find an island over there and work to find the aisle of Zentera, where the water is green and warm and humans are a distant memory. After his day of sadness, he felt a lot better, his brain and body much more accustomed to the dire circumstances. He would not wallow or fail to be useful - he was simply exhausted and virtually hopeless. But, Shadow would talk to him in his mind’s eye, and he would feel better. There were signs the water was becoming more tropical, just a bit. He hadn’t seen many boats at all, only a couple big cargo boats in the distance he avoided. The boy was a menace and dedicated the sixth day all to rowing, like a machine. He rowed even into the night, taking periodic breaks, showing not much interest in eating, drinking too much, or looking to catch food. For now, he would row, until he was too tired again. 

          For four days, he was like this, subsisting on measly portions of the dried fish, saving the rest of his non perishable food safely covered multiple times in the storage compartment. Animals would come by, dolphins would swim by his rushing boat, along with schools of fish, squid even, and many other things he didn’t know the names of. He had quite an enchanting experience with a sea turtle, large sharks would jump out of the water as he rushed by and he would feel no fear at all. He even managed to spear a couple fish as they swam by in schools, repeating the process of drying them in the sun, making food a surprisingly replenishable resource. It had not rained and he was doing damage on his previously refilled water bottles, but he would still be fine for a while. Sometimes he would put some sea water in his mouth and leave it there, careful not to swallow, and it helped to temper his thirst if only a bit. He prayed for rain as his rain bucket and catcher sat, serving only as storage, in the compartment holding one of his bags. But the boy was strong, agile, fast, in tune with the environment, like one of the animals - and he felt this way about himself. He was definitely more animal than human… 

        So, for days 6 through 10, Jonny was like a speeding bullet going through the pacific, his rowing only becoming more efficient as he chased the setting sun. Though there was no rain, there was also no storm, and the sea was calm and becoming tropical startlingly fast to the young boy. He was having fun again, his life like a dream, with so many various animals he had seen and had come to visit him. Some sea birds would come sit on the boat for awhile as he rowed, he had no need to fish because he had speared some of the fish who came in schools, and would have food for awhile on this alone. But, on the 11th day, his arms had become sore and weak again, and it was time to rest them. So, as the sun came up on the sea, calm once again, he decided to spend today with his rod. Drifting through extremely mild waters, with no end in sight, he cast his rod deep into the sea and would sit for 30 minutes or so before changing locations. It was like this for a couple hours. 

          Sitting there, bored, after 3 or 4 full hours, with nothing else to do, suddenly his rod shot down into the sea with a fury, his world suddenly filled with adrenaline and the wrath of a beast from the sea, who had taken his bait, and he was in a battle. It pulled down on the side of the boat, and he felt he may let go of his rod, not ready for such a sudden change in pace. He gathered himself, in a fight for survival, this rod extremely important to his life. He would not let go of it so easily. The great fish pulled line off his rod, in a vengeance, for what felt like forever. With his heart pumping, so caught in the moment, so much on the line but with such a great potential reward, he sat back deep into his boat to make sure he or the boat didn’t fall into the sea, and began fighting to reel in the fish. With all his might, he could only pull it in a little bit before it began ripping line off his reel once again, a mighty creature. He was only six, and this was a man’s fish, or he may have won much easier. 

         After 10 to 15 minutes of this torturous process, reeling in a couple times, having the line furiously ripped off, Jonny began to truly win the battle. The fish was tiring out, and still on the hook. For a couple minutes, he managed to pull it in, the fish nowhere in sight, lurking below the depths. He felt like it was a tuna, it was behaving so strong and that’s how it felt on his bent rod. His rod was so strong and dense, yet it bent like a rainbow into the sea under the weight and power of the fish. He pulled it up and the process became a chore, the fish clearly losing but desperately hanging on to life, the boy feeling safer by the minute. After 45 minutes, he could see it, lurking below him in the depths of the ocean, before it shot back down again, much more limply - the life leaving its body. He reeled it all the way up, careful not to break or snap his line under so much tension, and hoisted it into the kayak, directly beside him. It began flailing around and he desperately looked for his knife, finding it after a couple moments, and stabbing the fish in the face as it continued flailing and bleeding everywhere. It was definitely a tuna, maybe 70 pounds or so, gigantic. To him, at least (Tuna grow much larger than this). He continued stabbing the fish until it stopped flailing, and looked down at his prize with its blood all over his face and shirtless youthful body. He rejoiced, letting out a glorious yelp, at its fresh, dead corpse and the realization he would have food for… awhile. He was surprised how… not difficult … it was to find food. He really thought it would be a lot harder than it was. 

          Mr. Fish, an adolescent yellow fin tuna, put up quite the fight against the boy, but didn’t come close to getting all the line off his rod or ripping him into the sea. This was his first experience with a fish of this size, all by himself, so deep in the ocean. Unfortunately, Mr. Fish was taking up some serious room. The soreness from his arms finally caught up to him, and he realized he may need another off day. Of course, the body of the fish had some water in it, some hydration, and nutrients, and he could potentially eat this alone for … weeks? He was jarred at how much food he had. The boy was like an animal now, resisting the temptation to simply sink his teeth into its side, and instead took one of his sharpened blades and cut off a hunk of flesh, shaped it into some sushi like he had back at home, and chowed down before wrapping the rest of the fish in a plastic wrap he brought along, and hiding it in the side of the boat under the covering tarp. He was… a winner. But he was tired, and the sun was still high in the sky, so he wiped some of the blood of his little two person kayak and lay down on some air filled pillows, not truly asleep, but resting as the sun beat down on his face. 

          He was… a winner, with a full belly, and the fresh meat of the fish helped to satiate his hunger. When it would rain again, he did not know, but he could potentially make his water last weeks, even up to 2 months if he really conserved. He prayed for rain, or perhaps an island, as he was in uncharted territory and could probably hop on an unfound island and find plants with water. He was, thinking too much, of what to do next, of the next 500 million possible outcomes, as he wasted his day away and the sun became lower in the sky. It was like he was on a psychedelic nowadays, all the time, his life surreal and majestic, beautiful, loneliness a distant thought in his mind, his animal friends beautiful companions. Life was beautiful,  the sunset was gorgeous, the sea monsters hid deep in the ocean and the more sightly creatures came to visit, life becoming more plentiful as he headed to the tropical region of the pacific, southwest from Malibu, his takeoff spot. 

          Jonny was a happy boy, and a winner. A true winner, not a winner in spirit. Not a participation trophy - but a life or death struggle, where he came out on top, and won an incredibly valuable trophy. He knew nothing else, other than the ways of truly winning, that anyone else may have a different view on what “winning” is… He was innocent, untouched, and too busy … winning. 

Chapter 5 : A Shark in the Water 

SUPERHUMAN

SUPERHUMAN

Chapter 1 : The Lab

He woke up to a piercing bright light, and the harsh, loud shrill of a high pitched metallic squeal. Evo was up.

“Yay!”

“Electra! Electra! Check it out! Evo is up… this one is awake! His eyes are open! Oh my God!” 

The emphatic line was delivered by a deep, intelligent female voice. An excited woman, for sure. This was The Professor, a woman who lived on Europa, one of Jupiter’s most beautiful and secluded moons. They were stationed in a large base underneath the ice, the “Lab”, or so they called it.

Evo opened his eyes a little more, and looked around the room. He was in a hospital bed, a large one, and he was in mild restraints. He didn’t feel unsafe in this place… not at all. His body was huge, muscular, and finely proportioned. Just like… all those other ones. He looked down the corridor to see bodies, and bodies… Evos and Evos, just like him. They floated around in their preservation tubes, hooked up and “alive”, but not present. Only Evo was present. Seriously, the Professor already left him alone. She ran off to find Electra and her Robot Assistant, Frederick, so they could all ogle at her creation, EVO 83733. 

Evo consumed his surroundings with his powerful presence. His eyes showed a deep crimson, that lit up with an intensity unlike anything words could describe. A deep, fiery passion shown in those crimson eyes, an inborn bloodlust. He felt his restraints and found he could easily break them. But why would he do that? This woman had a nice voice, and he didn’t feel unsafe here. She seemed happy to see him. Evo decided to just wait a minute and see what was up with these weirdos.

“Why am I here again?”

“I’m Alive? Again? Ugh. What now?”

Evo, who is also God, was not super happy about this revelation! He was alive. Again. Which meant he had to do things. Ugh. All the poor guy really wanted was some sleep, but he was conscious and in a physical body… again. The harsh reality of being a God, as Evo extremely quickly remembered, is that you know everything all the time. And where’s the fun in that? But, clearly, he made himself again for a reason, so something had to be done. He sat in his hospital bed, in the restraints, and patiently waited to find out why The Professor gave him consciousness. 

Boop

“Hello, hello! Hello my dear. Welcome home!”, said that same voice, still in another room. The sound of two people’s footsteps and a mechanical whirring noise approached the room. The Professor came in first, followed by a small, beautiful, pale blue girl, followed by a silly little robot on wheels. The robot ogled Evo with its inquisitive little eyes that protruded out of its body. “Hello, hello, little creepy guy!”, the eyes seemed to say. Evo’s eyes were drawn to the small girl.. for a moment. She was a bit, uh, “too beautiful for him to comprehend”, or whatever, so he looked away for a minute. Electricity filled the air and static flowed through his veins when she entered his presence.

“You have got a lot to learn, big guy! Let’s start off with why you’re here, my little Superhuman. There’s this planet, one of the little orb things with life on them, that is inhabited by these things called “humans”. The whole thing was Past You’s experiment. Unfortunately, the humans have gone on a bad path, or so it seems, and might need a little bit of guidance. That’s where you come in.” The Professor rolled out her handy board with pictures of the “Earth” planet, the humans that inhabited it, and a bunch of other handy dandy educational tools to help the fresh Evo understand the situation. “So, humans finally evolved to the Industrial Age around 1500 years ago. This would have been around 1800 in their time. The current “year” in Earth time is 3,322. Are you following this? There’s more. Evo looked a little confused, actually. Math was never his strong suit. 

“Well? You can talk, right? Tough guy?”

Evo looked bewildered. He couldn’t believe this puny pathetic creature would dare speak to him like this. But he was impressed, and she was his Mother, or so it would seem. But here’s the thing - he actually couldn’t talk. He attempted to make the sound with his vocal folds, but nothing came out. He conjured the words in his minds’ eye, but he just couldn’t make a sound. And so, the most powerful being in the Universe sat there with a bewildered look on his face and fear in his eyes, and the Professor went on. “Haha! Just kidding. We will wire you up to talk later, okay bud? You don’t need to say anything right now. Just sit there and be pretty for me, okay?”

The Professor laughed a little laugh, in that condescending and unlikeable tone someone too intelligent for their own good laughs. She was enchanted by this creature of hers, and his beautiful cat like crimson eyes, a true marvel of the physical form. But she was too cool to show it! Just for a moment, she paused, and Evo saw the admiration shine from her little brown eyes. It felt nice for both of them.

“So, Evo, we made you. You are something like what the humans were supposed to become, if they could figure out how to evolve to save their lives. All our friends on Jupiter and the other 8 planets want to meet up with the Humans, but they aren’t evolved enough to handle our presence. Their minds would explode and their “civilization” (she said while rolling her eyes), would collapse. Of course, it’s doing that anyways, so we kind of wanted you to show up. Do you think you could do that?

Evo looked around the room. This place was totally boring. He could hear from the way her voice reverberated against the walls, the full structure of the entire Laboratory. It was essentially a rectangular box, a hospital of sorts, really a working environment. He could sense the presence of thousands of unawakened or dead Evos in the halls, and all kinds of other creepy little science experiments that in no way interested him. So, he was listening to this earth proposition. This place was weird.

“Hey Evo, I can hear your thoughts, asshole! I’m not that weird!”, exclaimed The Professor. I mean sure, I’ve gotten carried away with the science experiments a couple times over the years, but you don’t need to be in such a rush! I’ve only spent decades of my life trying to create you, you ungrateful swine!” she said, in an exasperated tone.

Okay… Evo looked at her with puppy dog eyes. She got him. She raised a pretty good point.. he could be patient and stay for awhile, even if this place was totally weird and kind of smelly. “Good boy! It is smelly. There’s dead bodies everywhere. Sorry about that.. anyways,-“

She kept rambling on about Earth or something and the stupid humans. Evo was fried.. his brain just woke up, and he already knew everything. So, he sat there like a good boy and pretended to listen to his creators rant about the stupid humans and how to help them out. But really, he was thinking about this cute blue girl he was pretending not to notice. She was.. so hot.

Chapter 2. Seriously.

“Okay Ego, that’s enough learning for now. Let’s get you out of these restraints.” The Professor and her two little assistants helped take Evos’ restraints off. Electras’ little pale hand touched his for a moment and a shiver went down both of their spines. They both refused, or rather physically could not make eye contact. Too much chemistry. He appreciated the help, and took a moment to take in his new physical body. Not bad. He was only 8 feet tall, maybe 2 tons, or 4,000 lbs. His skin was a pure pale white, and his veins protruded from his body in a deep crimson. His hair was long, flowing, and as black as night. And those eyes just sat there, menacing and calm as always, crimson and full of enchanting power.

His body was dense as metal, and more beautiful than the humans’ very own conception of God. He moved his pale legs elegantly to the side of the bed, and placed his feet on the ground. The Professor watched her child with a sense of pride and trust. Evo picked himself up, and stood up in this new body. He was a little impressed.

“Let’s go for a walk”, were the first words to come out of that beautiful man’s mouth. His voice was honeyed and deep, soothing and elegant from the very beginning. The girls swooned, and so did Frederick, just a little.

And so, the four of them began a casual stroll around the wild place that was The Laboratory.  As they exited the room where Evo woke up, they walked past her… “failed Evos”. All 83,732 of them. The very next room from the hospital bed was huge, and absolutely filled with these dead bodies, his unawakened clones. It was something akin to a concrete box, maybe the size of eight basketball gyms put together, with the clones filling the room in neatly decorated rows, for the most part. It was jarring on the senses, to go from that little hospital room into this massive, hectic one. Some of the glass preservation tubes had shattered, and the bodies of his clone brethren were just lying there in a mess, emanating a dead body’s odor. Evo took in this room with a healthy amount of disgust and intrigue. “So what is all this?”, he asked, looking to hear the music of their conversation. 

“This, is you! This is how I made you, little one. And how I’ve spent the last 44 years of my life. Evo was always an experiment on the human race, to see what they truly could be. I left Earth around 120 Earth years ago, with my Father, and he sketched out the ideas for the Superhuman experiment with me. He was always so aloof.. and never had time to finish it, so I took it upon myself, after developing the chops for it! And so, science being science, it took a long, cruel, repetitive cycle of trial and error to get your butt out of that hospital bed. But I think it may have just been worth it, seeing how you’re already asking such delightful questions.”,the Professor said with a charming little grin and dance. Suddenly, a gang of four legged figures appeared from the shadows. He couldn’t quite make them out in this lighting, and they overtook the humanoids’ group. 

Now, they were being circled by the posse of menacing animals… He made out that they were around 7 feet long each, and stealthy but distinctly powerful. He wished they would get out of these shadows, and he was legitimately intimidated by this display. The others seemed fine though.. SLASH! A huge gash was opened on Evos left forearm by one of the creatures, and his blood started gushing out. He let out a wail and sat there in bewilderment, but, interestingly, without much pain. His blood was falling out at a startling pace and spilling all over the floor that surrounded them. “What do I do?” said Evo. 

“Just wait.”

His crimson blood flowed and spilled all over the floor, congealing into a pool in a sickening amount. The four legged figures continued to circle him, and seemed to be laughing at him. He was starting to make out little - cat ears? - as his vision began to blur from the blood loss. Perhaps this was a joke, a joke on God, to show how weak he was. Perhaps they would kill him now and this was all a waste of time, just another failed Evo. Maybe he already failed the test. But he didn’t want to be another failed Evo.. he wanted to be alive. So he decided to fight back against this pack of sinister wild lab cats. 

Evo reached out with his thunderous arms, and grabbed one of the figures by the scruff. It let out a yelp, and he tossed it vigorously into one of the preservation tubes, smashing it. His half-alive clone brother’s corpse fell onto the ground limply, and the preservation fluid spilled out. The glass shattered and cut the wild lab cat in many different places, but it was still alive. Evo proceeded to repeat this procedure to two more of the cats, out of the seven total. After seeing two more of their kin tossed around and bleeding, the rest of the cats backed off a bit. He could make them out better in this lighting. 

“Stop!”, their eyes seemed to say to him. They made a display of submission as their three fellow cats lay on the ground, writhing in pain and bleeding out. The three Evo corpses were just laying around, and one of them was covering one of the cats! The four remaining, able cats had a little stare down with Evo. Their eyes lit up in the darkness, like piercing jewels, a deep shade of yellow - Amber, some might call it. He was still bleeding, but the pace had settled down. It seemed like he would be okay, surprisingly. Evo looked down at his left forearm, where the first cat he threw had cut him open. His wound looked smaller, and it seemed to be closing in on itself. He watched the threads of his body come together like a tapestry, and his flesh returned to its original state. What was going on? How was this possible? 

“Okay kittens! Are we done with playtime? We have the rest of the laboratory to show this guy, and I’d like to do it today please!” exclaimed The Professor nonchalantly. The cats lay on the ground, struggling as they bled. Evo watched them inquisitively, and their response to being in such dire straits. Then, one of the cats - the one covered by a clone body - began to bite at it? What was that? The cat, that looked something like a leopard now, was eating the flesh of the Evo corpse. And then, just like magic, he saw its bleeding start to subside. The flesh of the big cat closed in on itself, just like Evo’s had a second before. The other two cats got in on this, taking bites of the flesh and healing expediently. Before too long, they were all healthy, and the pack of lab cats was together again, now from a safe distance and docile.

“The crew’s all together again! Hope you didn’t get too scruffed up, Jerry.”, the Professor exclaimed to the largest cat, in the front. Evo could tell this was the one who attacked him, and the dominant member of the pack. Jerry? That’s a silly name..

“What the hell is going on? How did all of our wounds just, magically heal like that?”, Evo said, bewildered as he had been this whole time. “Well, basic science really. That synthetic flesh of yours is really some high quality stuff! It is capable of taking in energy from its local surroundings and converting it into material, almost immediately. It’s truly beautiful, and beyond value, even out here in space, my dear.” she said, with light shining off of her crazy eyes. “Well, all of us have something like that, that’s just basic evolution. But, not with that kind of speed! That’s something only found in this lab, and on your body, my dear EVO. For most of us, it would take at least a couple days, maybe even weeks to recover from an injury like that! But, your designer from a past life thought that you were going to need it, for some reason.”, she said with a sinister gaze.

One of the cats came up to Evo with something in its mouth. It came up slowly, one of the smaller cats, and in a submissive and decidedly friendly way. Evo looked down at it, to find it was holding.. a leg.. in its mouth. The cat was holding one of Evos clone brothers’ legs. The blood was spilling all over the place and left a trail as the cat came closer to Evo. The cat, who he could tell was a female, bowed its head and seemed to “offer” him the leg. “Well?”, said The Professor. “Are you going to take it or not? God knows I could have some.” Evo was at a loss for words. He was supposed to eat this? They were all perfectly fine, and cool with eating the clone flesh? Before he could utter a sound, the Professor snatched the leg from the cat, and took a big chomp. Evo watched this scene in horror, as this little woman who made him, took a couple of bites out of raw flesh just like his. And she did this with a grin on her face, like she did it all the time.. it even looked like it was tasty. And then, she handed the bleeding leg to Electra, and the small beautiful girl took a bite too, just a bit less ravenously. After they both had their portions, Electra held out the remainder of the leg, which was most of it, to Evo, and seemed to offer it to him. He took the leg by the ankle, and examined it. The flesh was extremely dense and high quality, the fibers of the muscles were tight and gamey. Everyone was looking at him, even the cats, and this wild, dangerous situation turned embarrassing for him fast. 

Evo looked down at the leg, and back at everyone else. They were all watching him inquisitively. He took a nibble out of the calf muscle. The flesh sat in his mouth for a second, and he was shocked to find it was quite delicious. He chewed down the first bite with ease and went back for more. The taste of it was very gourmet, surprisingly, and it felt extremely nutritious. The flesh went in his body and filled him with an immediate strength. He looked back up for guidance after losing himself in the taste of the food for a moment. The Professor was looking at him with a creepy, well intentioned grin. “See? Told you, bud. Good stuff, right?”. Evo nodded his head awkwardly. It was, in fact, good stuff, despite its questionable origins. 

“Talee-hoo, astronauts! Let’s get going.”, exclaimed The Professor adamantly. And so, the little group of humanoids kept strolling through The Laboratory while the group of seven cats watched from a safe distance. The humans went on into the next corridor, and the cats stayed in the Clone Room, probably finishing off the fresh EVO corpses. Evo’s group pulled into the next hall, which had a glass surface covering its starboard side. It showed into an ocean-like atmosphere, and Evo could make out little figures swimming in the distance. The water was dyed a faint shade of yellow, and the glass emanated a chilling aura. “Ah yes, the Nitrous sea! Europa’s finest possession.” continued The Professor. They had entered into an extremely long hallway, all with this glass aquarium lining the path. The Professor led the way, and the group followed along at a decent pace. Evo just went with it. 

“This is the most wild place in this whole solar system my new friend!” she continued, clearly elated to have someone to share her home with. “In Europa’s ocean, there is the finest and most diverse population of Giant Sea Monsters known in our entire solar system!” Right as she finished explaining that, Evo could sense a powerful presence enter his aura. He looked to the right casually, and found a massive pair of glowing eyes burning directly into his, right in front of the glass. There in front of him, and the group, was the head of a massive lizard creature, with its eyes staring like lasers into the depths of their souls. “GODZILLA”, said The Professor calmly. Evo and Godzilla were engaged in a stare down, locking eyes fiercely but calmly, with a distinct air of mutual respect shared between the God figureheads. 

“I see you remember him! Yes, this is Godzilla. Godzilla was found washed up on shore on one of Earth’s many islands. Your dad liked the guy, and wanted to help him out. So we sent a little aircraft in the middle of the night and picked him up real discreetly! And just blasted him off over here. I think he likes it here, there’s lots of other Monsters for him to socialize with. Just look at him! Seems fine to me, right?” continued his wacky instructor. Evo shook his head calmly. After his shocking encounter with the cats and the encounter with death, he wasn’t ready to be mind blown again. He was still in a trance, and locking eyes with this massive dragon-like creature. They seemed to share a bond that went back many lives, but they weren’t going to linger on it. Evo turned his head back to the left, and was greeted by an array of sea monsters, who had come by to say hello. First, there was a posse of Thresher sharks, around 9, swimming around and dancing in the water. All types of different sharks were filling his vision and the glass display. Hammerheads, great whites, tiger sharks, all filled the aquarium in a massive swarm. He felt safe behind the glass, and around the animals. And then, a massive creature appeared from the depths, a supermassive shark, and swallowed up a huge amount of the smaller sharks whole. An entire Great White Shark clearly was devoured by these menacing jaws. The creature continued its upward ascent and displayed its body to the little humanoid group. The thing must have eaten hundreds of those sharks in one move.. his brain was too bombarded to continue processing it. He turned back to the right, and Godzilla was right there, staring daggers back at him. “Keep up”, those Godly dragon eyes seemed to say to the fresh Evo. 

And as he turned his head back away from those enchanting dragon eyes, he found there was nothing left to see. All the sharks had vanished, and the only thing that was left was blood. The entire display case had become blood, and when he looked back to check if Godzilla was still around, he wasn’t. It was all just blood. “Why? Why are you doing this?” exclaimed a tortured and mind blown Evo. “We just want you to be ready, little one.”, said The Professor, with real concern in her voice. “The Universe is a tough place for all of us, let alone a God Concept like you. You have to be ready to face some wild and cruel things. You wanted to be alive, right?” she finished, confidently. Evo took a second to himself, and stared daggers at the wall. Just a boring, concrete wall. He didn’t want to look at any of them anymore. His brain was processing way too much information, his mortality was being made incredibly apparent, incredibly fast. He could feel the blood filling the surrounding area, and the chilling bite from the display glass. But he wanted control, just for a second, in this fresh life of his. So he just stared in that moment, and tried to tune out his little group, and tune out everything that just happened. The stench of blood penetrated his nostrils. He meditated, and a moment became an eternity. The scent of blood and sea water violated his nostrils more apparently after this moment, and he quickly looked to the side. “CRACK”

Within seconds, blood was pouring into the hallway. The crack was a far distance from them, maybe 100 meters, from what he could tell. But the stench of blood was overtaking his senses and the hallway was filling, fast. “Oh shit.”, said the Professor. “It’s him, Evo. Let’s run.”. Before Evo had any time to process this, the group was already running full sprint back into the clone room. He found his body had joined them. They quickly made their way back to the clone room, as they had not walked far. The hallway was rapidly filling with the blood fluid, and it was catching up with them. The Professor quickly pressed a few buttons on a pad by the door that connected the two corridors, and it sealed shut rapidly. “Keep going. We’re not safe. Go.”, she said authoritatively and calmly. The group all continued running, directly past the clone room, back into the hospital room where Evo woke up just an hour ago, and The Professor closed the door to the clone room in the same manner. It sealed shut, and she gestured for the posse to come together.

“Evo, that wasn’t normal. The glass isn’t supposed to break. It’s almost impossible for the glass to break, which means I suspect something very sinister is going on. I think we are having an encounter with Evil. I’m surprised he showed himself this quickly to you. He must think extremely highly of you, young one.” Evo was over all of this. But, he looked around at his surroundings, and found he didn’t seem to have a choice in this situation. It was this crazy lady, who seemed concerned for him, or Evil and shark blood. So he kept listening. “Okay, okay. I’m getting it, I’ve got a lot to do, right?”, asked Evo. “Yes. But for now, let’s just try to survive and get back to the surface of Jupiter. I think we have seen enough of the lab for today, and I’m worried he might be here.”,she said. “Evil?”, he asked. “Yes. Let’s go.”

The Professor went into the next room, adjacent to the hospital bed room. It was an office of sorts, with a cluttered and hectic desk, and a telephone connected to the wall. She hurriedly grabbed the telephone and dialed a number into the circular mechanism. It dinged as she spun the dial to the correct numbers. “Zeus. I need you. Please come get us, right now.”, she said calmly. Evo could make out a deep, booming voice come out of the other line, in what sounded like an affirmation. She hung up the phone and immediately scurried over to a latch on the ceiling. “Pick me up!”. Evo quickly picked her up and held her to the latch, which she opened by simply unscrewing it. The latch opened up into a long ladder that showed light on the surface. The Professor grabbed the ladder and said, “Evo, toss them up and then let’s get the hell out of here. Evo grabbed Electra and gently lifted her into the escape hatch, followed by Frederick, who had a couple limbs robotically expand from his body to help him up. As Evo went to pick himself up into the hatch, the door inexplicably slammed shut. He found himself in complete darkness, alone, in the hospital room. “HELLO?” he screamed. Evo was overtaken by fear and solitude. It was pitch black, and he was alone in this hellhole filled with blood. “Evo!”. He could hear the Professor’s voice in a muffled scream through the closed hatch. He tried and tried to open the hatch, but it was completely slammed shut from both sides. “Evo, it’s him. It’s the only way. There’s nothing I can do, Evo! I have to get us out of here and you have to try your best. He might just be messing with you! Good luck, little one!” she finished. “Good luck!”, exclaimed a soft feminine voice, which must have been Electra. And with that, he heard them climb up the footsteps and leave him on his lonesome in the nightmare.

Cat Story

Cat Story

CHAPTER 1 : Awakening

Jonny, the little black cat with blood red crimson eyes, found himself in a forest clearing by himself. He was surrounded by massive oak trees with intertwining vines hanging from their mighty branches. The sun arose on the clearing, and he regained his senses. The clearing was nice, fresh, and he was on a little stump in the center of it. He enjoyed his sleep, and stretched out his body and tail and got ready to take on the day. He spent his time away from the pack, his clan, and liked to go hunting and exploring on his own around their little beach area. The pack had established their dominance over the other animals in the local area, and had taken a huge plot of land with massive rolling cliffs, beaches, waves, forests, lakes, and rivers, all to themselves. They called it Timeria, the homeland to the Wild Cats. 

He dilated his blood red pupils and scanned the horizon as he exited the clearing. He could smell the enmity from a local pack of jealous tigers around 35 miles away, shyly stalking into his marked territory. He stalked towards their location and picked up the scent, while taking a brief pause to sharpen his claws on one of the oak trees. He dialed in on the scent, and found it was a pack of 5 young tigers, juveniles who were jealous of his ability to establish dominance over the entire area. He was just a little 15 pound black cat, but nobody could do anything to him. He was always in the shadows, appearing from nowhere, dominating his opponents psychologically and physically. Despite his overwhelming dominance over all the other cats, more and more jealous cats had to arise and attempt to overtake his territory. So, Jonny got to do his favorite thing in all the world today - take out these jealous idiots.

He focused more in on their conversations and possessed their minds using his mind superpowers as the Alpha cat of this environment. They were talking dirty, talking about how they could take Jonny in a fight, a one versus one duel. The jealous tigers said Jonny was all talk, that he just lucked into this whole area, and his pack of females. They talked of how the stories of Jonny, the little black cat with crimson eyes, were all tall tales, fantasy, not reality, and how he probably wasn’t even in this area. Jonny picked up his pace.

He was now sprinting through the trees, eager to terrorize and destroy these imbeciles in stunning fashion. Their senses were undeveloped - an insult to the cat realm, and surely they must be destroyed. They were in his territory anyways, so death was surely an imminent sentence for them.

He was there, eyeing down the pack of stalking jealous tigers from the trees. Why wait? 

Jonny jumped from the tree, onto the head tigers head, and slashed his eyeballs out one after the other in one fell swoop. The head tigers eyes fell onto the ground, and Jonny disappeared into the forest before any of the other tigers processed what was happening at all. They turned back on their leader, to find him yelling in agony, completely losing himself and making terrifying noises. “AAAHHHH!!! MY EYES!!! I CAN’T SEE!! WHAT’S GOING ON!!” let out the alpha of the juvenile pack, Jared. “Jared!!! Jared are you okay!! What the hell happened!” let out the rest of the tigers. Jonny jumped out of the tree he was hidden in and treated the rest of the imbecile tigers to the same treatment. All of their eyes, clawed out of their heads, in a flash, with his metal - dense claws, ruthless precision, and blinding speed. All of their eyes rolled onto the floor, and their vision was gone. Jonny used his cultivated abilities to mask his scent, walk silently, and he circled the group as they moaned and wailed in agony, in horror of the sudden and complete destruction of their entire realities.

Jonny left no time to wait, and simply slit their throats with his claws and left them all to die, slowly. He cut them open just enough to make them all bleed out, and spend the rest of their afternoon alive, horrified, bleeding to death and completely useless. He stalked away and went back on his way to the rest of the pack, to tell them about the five funny jealous tigers he took care of this morning.

CHAPTER 2 : Timeria 

           He pulled up on the base, through the trees that marked the entrance. The morning sun shined through the foliage and onto his fur. Nobody was around this morning, out of their small little clan. He didn’t care much what they were up to, they were all very independent, and he’d surely see them later. He stretched his paws, took in the light ocean breeze and walked towards the cliff with an incredible view of the ocean by where they called home. The place was called Timeria, home to the Wild Cat Clan, and this was their primary dwelling spot, home. They had made a walking path with some help from human slaves, and he walked along it to go for a stroll. 

          It was the beginning of Spring, and Timeria was one of the finest places in the whole world. The flowers were blossoming everywhere, dandelions, roses, lavender, tulips, and more than words could describe. The foliage was lush and dense, and the ocean filled the atmosphere with a melancholy salty air. He continued on his little morning walk, as the sun rose higher in the sky. Squirrels and birds and rabbits and insects would prance and fly around, keeping their distance from Jonny - they admired each other and the pleasant morning together. The sound of the rolling waves, a light breeze, and the chirps and sounds of the local wildlife filled his senses and accompanied him on his pleasant walk. 

He kept walking and walking along the path, lined with grasses and various sights. He walked by one of the caves in their dwelling grounds, one filled with captured human slaves who were made to work by the cats. A charming place, and he kept walking, delighted to be reminded of the human beings who were suffering and working for the cat clan. He continued on the cliff in the surreal environment around 45 minutes or so, and then walked back to end his morning stroll. His tail was dancing around in the morning sun the whole time, and he was a happy cat.

When he came back, Crystal was awaiting him and looked at him as if she had news. They spotted each other from a distance, and he walked up to her while she sat and stared at him in the center of their main area. Crystal was a pale blue cat, with shimmering soft fur, one of his many wives who made up the Wild Cat clan. Her eyes were like shining diamonds, that lit with an intensity like that of many stars or galaxies, and she looked stunningly beautiful in the sunlight. Her tail was up, and she looked at him with a seductive pose as he drew near.

“Hello, Crystal. How’s you’re morning going? I just had a very pleasant stroll, it’s making up to be a beautiful spring.” said Jonny to the girl cat. “It’s well. Me and Forest were scouting out the local human town this morning, and we have news. They seem to be degenerating, they are pissing and shitting in each others food, taking prisoners, and completely losing their minds. I think it’s time we launch an all out assault on them and free the poor wives and women of the town.” said Crystal with a semi-serious tone with a hint of irony and laughter at the pathetic human creatures. “Well?”, said Jonny. “If that’s what we have to do, that’s what we have to do! Tell me more about this human town, my love.” 

They began walking together around the various structures of their home. There were many dens that they had the human slaves make, and a large palace in the distance where Jonny liked to live. It was made of white marble, filled with plants and trees that grew wild in the heart of Timeria. They took a stroll along a green, grass filled path through a dense forest of foliage, and the sun disappeared into the leaves. Crystal continued filling in Jonny on the situation as they walked along the shadowed path, on the situation in the town to begin with. “Basically, they have some kind of a religion. They are called Kikensteins, and I have to tell you they are horrifyingly awful. They pinch their pennies and are just horrible to each other. Every single one of them absolutely refuses to help each other in any way shape or form, and they are horrifyingly disgusting, very standard human behavior.” continued Crystal. Jonny nodded in agreement, he had many experiences with the human creatures of the Earth, they were truly, truly pathetic awful idiots. They shared a glance, and enjoyed their smug sense of superiority as superior beings, and Crystal continued. “They have some kind of hierarchy, the Kikensteins, some kind of royalty system. Most of the women are completely awful and complicit in their horrible behavior, but apparently they have a ‘princess’ locked up in some tower. They say they found her in the woods, and she rejected their society. She’s been up there for years, just a young teenager, a blonde girl with big round brown eyes. She’s one of the only ones who isn’t completely ugly or awful - I think it’s about time we saved her. We scouted out the town this morning, and it should be a simple, smooth operation. It’s a simple village, with around 400 houses and structures. They have some shops, grocery stores, an inn, 2 small farms, a couple wells for water, and not much else. Their architecture is sloppy and unkempt.”

“I observed some of the chefs and shopkeepers, and found they were engaging in standard human behavior. They would piss, and mix their shit, piss, and snot into the food they sell while hiding it to poison the others. I think they feed this stuff to the princess too.” she continued. “Humans..” said Jonny, with a look of disgust and unpleasant memories from a past life. “Brat Kikenstein is their supposed ruler. He’s around 6 foot 8, we believe he broke his legs as a young boy to become taller. He’s frail, and hobbled, his knees don’t function, and he lives in the only 2 story building in the entire village.” continued Crystal. “He has some grunts and minions that run the town, the Police, they’re shorter Kikensteins, usually somewhere between 4 foot 8 and 5 foot 3. They’re all horribly fat, do the liposuction thing, and live on alcohol and each others shit food. They are all overwhelmingly homosexual, and unfortunately we witnessed them in some kind of homosexual orgy for a moment. That’s when we ran away and came back to base. I think it’s time we messed with them.”

Jonny nodded again, and they pulled up to the Wild Cat palace at the heart of Timeria. The sun was higher in the sky, it was about 2 hours to mid day, and it shone through the vines and leaves as they walked up to the marble steps to the palace. The flowers had overgrown the marble architecture, of all pleasant colors and scents, and the two respectable cats walked inside. After walking in the entrance, they are greeted to a massive great hall, decorated with more overgrown vines and plants. The rooms of the palace were littered to the sides of the Great Hall, a massive edifice to celebrate the superiority of the Wild Cat clan of Timeria. A beautiful, large vintage piano stood at the center of the hall. “The rest of the clan is in the meeting room, ready to discuss more and head over to the Kikenstein village.” said Crystal as she led him along. Their tails intertwined as they expressed their love, and she nuzzled his head in affection. They loved this, almost more than anything, terrorizing and torturing the terrible humans of their planet. They walked to the left, up a great flight of stairs, onto the second of five stories of the palace, and walked along a walkway for a couple minutes before turning into the meeting room on the left. 

The rest of the clan awaited the duo in the large meeting room. It was Forest, Ash, Violet, Scarlet, and Trina - the other 5 members in the clan. Forest came up to the duo as the rest of the clan engaged in a conversation about the Kikenstein village and their various plots  to terrorize the humans and laugh at them. Forest looked at Jonny with her deep, forest green eyes and snuggled up to both him and Crystal to say hi. They shared a brief conversation of the tigers from the morning and her individual experience with the Kikenstein humans. They joined the rest of their clan in their conversation and Jonny listened in to the girls. “I saw one of them, a supposed butcher. He had human corpses in the back, who knows how he got them, and he was grinding them up into meat. The slices of meat, all human corpses. Disgusting, wretched, putrid human corpses, rotting flesh of these poisoned shit infested creatures” said Ash, a small grey cat with deep yellow eyes. “But he didn’t stop there, I saw him put his hand up his shit hole and his nose, spit on the food, and rub it all in. Standard human behavior to the maximum.” finished Ash.

          Jonny turned away in disgust, recalling his time in the human world. “There are a few beautiful women in the village. Most of them are ugly, fat, and complicit in this shit show, but I think we should save a couple of them” said Trina, the white cat with golden amber eyes. “I’ll show you guys around and we can check them out more - from what I saw they seem clean, for the most part, despite their horrifying stupidity.” finished the little white girl cat. 

          The clan continued in their conversation and hatched their plots to terrorize the humans, and before too long they were ready to head out. They got together and walked out of the meeting room. Around 5 doors down the same hallway on the 2nd floor of the palace, was a large obsidian door filled with divine energy and corrupt waves emanating from it. Jonny led the pack, and he cast a magic spell using his eyes to open the door. His pupils took the shape of a pentagram, and his eyes burned with a deep crimson. Red electric sparks shot from his eyes, and a powerful ray of light came out of them. He eyed down the door, and cast it open in a couple of seconds. His eyes returned to their normal, large and dilated circular state, and the clan walked in together after their leader. 

        The room was a satanic ritual ground. It was pure obsidian, doused in magic spells, with purple sparks coming out of the walls. It was a tower, extremely tall and small. It simply contained a large portal, a rip into another dimension. The walls were all obsidian and lined with the blood of their enemies, gargoyles, snakes, creatures of every kind, sculpted into the spire in a pure obsidian. The portal stood there menacingly, filled with purple energy and red sparks. Jonny eyed the portal down with his God eyes and his pupils took the shape of a square. He dialed in on the village, around 750 miles to the east. The portal changed into a view of the backside of the village, behind the large wooden fence they protected their territory with. There was a small hole the clan could sneak into, and the entrance was shown on the portal. He walked right in, and disappeared onto the other side in stride. The rest of the clan followed suit, Timeria was without its wild cats for the time being, and the door to the portal room slammed shut as Violet walked past, the last cat in line. 

CHAPTER 3 : Day One

         The cats were by the little hole at the back door of the village, and a little oval red portal stood behind them by the forest. It closed in on itself rapidly as Violet walked in, a brown cat with beautiful purple eyes. The clan followed Jonny’s lead and went into the little hole in the back of the village, and began their first day of assaulting and terrorizing the villagers, facing them with the consequences of their own actions. 

          Jonny went off by himself, to visit the princesses’ tower in the corner of the village. The rest of the clan went about their way to play with the local villagers they had scouted out. The tower stood there, the tallest building in the whole village, made of stones and mortar. It was perhaps 5 stories tall, and rose around 65 feet into the sky. It was mostly dimly lit, with iron bars functioning as windows to the outside world. He dialed into the top chamber of the tower, and through one of the small openings with iron bar windows, he could see a pair of slender pale tan hands, lit by candlelight, flipping through the pages of a leather bound, gilded novel. This must have been the girl. He picked up his pace, and walked through the village while remaining undetected. A couple of Kikenstein officers walked around, eating big donuts and waddling around with their massive, disgusting bodies. The police had their wooden batons on their sides, and looked around as if to see if there was anyone to attack. Jonny got a wheel of cheese using telekinesis from the local deli, a disgusting creation filled with the villagers body fluids, and he rolled it in front of the trio of obese officers after it came his way. The wheel tripped up the front officer, and the other two fat men fell on top of each other. 

         “Ahhh!!! My knees!! They’re gone boys!” said the lead officer as they all struggled on the ground. “What the hell happened!!! Ahhh!!!” continued all three of them, making horrifyingly disgusting noises and taking a pitifully long time to stand up. They fell on top of each other multiple times, and just couldn’t stand up to save their lives. The trio all let out a bombastic flatulence as they soiled their undergarments and tattered pants. Their rolls of body fat were sliding on each other as they desperately tried to stand up. The wheel of cheese that tripped them up kept rolling, and found its way behind a couple of barrels, and it took its place. The officers kept up with this pitiful display, desperately trying to stand up while screaming and struggling. A couple of the village women looked in dismay and shared a little laugh, including Trisha, the local librarian. 

         Jonny left them to themselves pretty fast, and darted and dashed his way through the village. He scouted out the area and had a pretty excellent idea of the infrastructure of the village and its inhabitants extremely fast. Before he knew it, he was at the base of the tower. It was locked up with many large chains and locks. It was a wooden door, at the base of the cobble stone tower. It wasn’t decorated much at all, a simple cylinder with a bit of a roof and not much else. He climbed up to the second story with his sharp claws out, and found one of the openings with iron bars. He made his body slender and creeped his way into the tower. He was on the second story. No lights were on this level of the building, and his pupils dilated to get used to the new environment. This place was mostly well kempt, it seemed like nobody had been in here for a long time except the princess he could hear at the top of the tower. Her hands would flip through the pages every once in a while, as she sat in a wooden chair with a cup of tea at her side. He could hear this as the reverberations of her small movements and presence went throughout the tower, into his little, cute, cat ears. This seemed to be some kind of a small library, with a couple worn out paintings of his old friend Saturn on the walls. They were beat up and deteriorating, and a little bookshelf with perhaps 50 books was in the corner of the cobble stone room. About 5 large books stood at the top left of the shelf that stood out from among the others, bound in leather. 

         The rest of the room seemed to be an unused “hangout spot” or living room. Cobwebs and dust filled the area. He could sense nobody had been in here for months, except the princess simply to grab a book a while ago. He became bored, and found the ladder to the next story. He climbed up the ladder and into the little opening at the top, and skipped the next two stories to get closer to the princess. He kept going up the ladder of the tower, and found himself in her chambers in a moment. He peered at her while remaining hidden, his crimson eyes barely popping out. The girl was on a shoddy wooden chair, engrossed and enamored in a novel she had already read so many times. Her body was warm, and he could make out her eyes as they reflected the candlelight in the cold musty room. Her eyes betrayed a lifetime of sadness and loneliness, but the glint in her eyes showed a deep affection and love for the words on the page. It seemed they had kept her safe, loved, and entertained throughout her whole life, and time in the tower. As she flipped to the next page and took a sip of her tea, Jonny scurried over to the bookcase and hid at the bottom. He used his abilities as a cat to possess her mind, experience her senses, and read her thoughts and emotions. 

        “EVO found himself in the wilderness, alone, with absolutely nothing to guide him. He had no tools, only his wits and his body.” were the words on the page. She read them slowly and delicately, engrossed and enamored by the prose. This was Superhuman, an ancient piece of divine literature with unknown origins, a classic known all throughout the universe. He stayed hidden awhile, and simply let the girl be herself for a couple minutes as he followed along with her thoughts and actions. 

          The girl sat back in her chair, and took a moment to herself. She closed her eyes in sadness and a tear fell slowly from her left eye. “I don’t know why life can’t be like this.. why must I be locked up in this tower for all my years.” were the thoughts in the Princesses mind as she sat back. She turned to a large scroll on the wall, depicting the crimson deity Saturn, alongside his legendary dragon Red. She took a moment to admire the legend, and prayed. “Oh Saturn, if you are out there, I pray you hear my plea and save me from my wretched reality.” she said aloud while clasping her hands. “Well? Would you like to meet him?” came a new voice into her mind’s eye. She paid it no attention, and simply answered, “Yes, of course! It would be my wildest dream come true and more. If he’s really out there..” she answered in her mind as she closed her eyes and dreamed of such a wild fantasy, embarrassed to ever think she could be so lucky. Jonny scurried up to a shelf on her left hand side undetected, and took his place alongside 4 wooden dolls with dust and cobwebs. The girl sat there a moment, enraptured with emotion at the thought of meeting her idol, Saturn. 

          Jonny stuck his head out from among the dolls, and waited for the girl to meet his gaze. It took her a while - to hear such a wild fantasy articulated, something she dared not think to herself, but only dreamed of in all her years in the village, locked up in the tower. But, after a moment she finally looked up, and her eyes were drawn to her old dolls sitting on the shelf. To her extreme surprise, there was a little black cat, with thick soft fur and blood red crimson eyes staring daggers at her. She sat there for a moment, at a loss for words, and locked eyes with this little cat. It had eyes like she had never seen before or even thought possible - they were totally blood red, huge and menacing, and staring daggers into her very soul. She was completely entranced and enraptured, she could feel her soul being sucked from her body into this little cat's eyes, and felt as though she was walking in the depths of heaven in this moment. 

         “Well?” entered the intruder into her mind again. “I think he will like you plenty, I’ll have to invite him over sometime.” came the voice. “Is that you, Mr. Cat? Are you the voice saying that?” asked the princess, bewildered. Jonny lifted his head up and turned away, with a humorous look of scorn. “Of course it’s me! How dare you ask such a question, girl. I’ll let you off the hook this time.”, finished the voice, which she now knew was this cat. “Well?” said the cat, turning his head back to her and continuing. “Tell me more about yourself, girl. How did you come to be stuck in this tower?” finished the cat, as he relaxed and took a place among the dolls. He sat there with an inquisitive look and waited for the girl to continue. She sat there in a state of shock, and her mind was totally empty for a moment. She rapidly accepted there was a cat here, talking to her. He was clearly… different. 

         After gathering herself, she said aloud, “Well, Mr. Cat, to be quite honest with you, I’m not sure. The Kikensteins somehow got me when I was a young girl or a baby, and locked me up here when I fought back against them. I clawed out some of their eyes when they tried to touch me and talk to me, and I’ve been here ever since I was a very young girl - as long as I can remember. Sometimes they bring me some food and water, and I drop my poop out the third story window.” she said with a soft smile. “Very nice!” came the voice, as the cat lay there stretching its paws and taking a nap. “I’d like to think I’d do the same. I don’t like these things very much either.” said “Mr. Cat.” “So? How’s your time been, up here? Are you really all alone? How do you like to spend your days and nights?” 

           He could tell she was around 16 years old. She obviously wasn’t lying about any of this, the poor young girl. He had to make it up to her, one way or another. “Well, I like to read a lot. I have some of the more popular books in the classic catalog, like this one here.” She lifted up Superhuman, closing it and marking the page, holding the cover up for Mr. Cat to take a look at. It depicted EVO, his old friend, taking on a large black dragon. “I’ve read this a couple times… I always wanted to, so I made them get me a dictionary and taught myself how to read. It’s truly amazing, have you heard of it, Mr. Cat?” “Of course!” said the little black cat's eyes with a look of surprise. She was quite intelligent, to be reading such a novel as such a young girl. “Superhuman is one of my favorite books, you have excellent taste and a sharp mind, young girl. I actually know the guy who made it, believe it or not.” She looked at him with confusion in her eyes. She did not believe the cat on this, or anything, but he was quite a charming cat and she was delighted to finally have a friend. “Well, anyways.” she continued after shrugging off his bogus claim. “This is the first one of the big novels I’ve been able to read. I spent a lot of time trying to learn the words to be able to read it, and I’m so so happy I did. It’s so much better than the other human novels, it’s kept me happy over the last 2 years. It’s like some of the short stories I read as a young girl, those works of divine scripture nobody knows the origins of.” She put the book down and caressed it gently, her hand falling off the page and her eyes coming back up to Mr. Cats. Jonny saw the pages were well kept despite the book's age, clearly one of the girl's most prized possessions. “I also like to draw a lot, I have some stuff I can show you, and other than that I just try to keep the tower nice, tidy, and pleasant. I guess that’s most of what I do, believe it or not.” she finished with a deep sadness and loneliness in her young eyes. 

“Very good, Princess. At least you’ve been busy and well educated in your time up here. Can I call you that, Princess?” asked the little black cat. “Of course! That’s what everyone’s called me my whole life. That’s my name, as far as I know.” said the young girl. “Excellent! So let me tell you why we are here.” said Jonny as he hopped down onto her table. She continued listening as the cat pawed around and roamed around the room. “This is another human village engaging in SHB, Standard Human Behavior, and we’re intent on not allowing this to happen anymore.” said the cat as he pawed at a little feather that had made its way into the room. “SHB? Standard Human Behavior? What’s that, Mr. Cat?” asked the girl as her eyes followed along. “Basically, the worst things ever, as you may have noticed. The one that really irks me is what they do to the food, putting their shit and piss and bodily fluids, who knows what, into all the food for themselves and for others.” continued the cat as he flipped to his back and began pawing at the air. “That… sounds right…” she said, with a look of disgust, as she looked at a wheel of cheese that had been sitting in the room, untouched for months and months. She could smell the piss, snot, shit, and piss coming out of it. “I guess.. That’s probably why I don’t like the food.. I mostly eat just a couple of biscuits and some tea every day, it always smelled so wrong and tasted so horrible..” said the young girl, with a dry gag, grabbing the wheel of cheese and throwing it out the window. “So, you? What’s your opinion on humans, Princess? Would you mind if me and some other cats, took them out?” 

“Took them out, Mr. Cat? What do you mean? You are so little and cute. Are you implying you can do something about the Kikensteins?” she said inquisitively, standing up now by the window, leaning her body against the wall. She was emaciated and frail, her wrists pitifully small and underfed. She was in a little dress, well kept, but with a couple of rips in it from years of use. She looked beautiful, despite her emaciated body and face, as she stood there listening to the cat in the afternoon sun. Jonny went up to the girl, and made himself look as little and cute as he could muster. Positively adorable, she had to pick him up! “Is it okay, Mr. Cat, can I pick you up?” she said as her hands went near the little sinister cat. “Of course! That’s the invitation isn’t it?” came the cat as he nuzzled his head against her left ankle with his amazingly soft and thick fur. The girl caressed both sides of his body with her beautiful hands, and gently picked up the little cat. He got cozy in her arms, and stayed there awhile. They said nothing, and he took a little nap. She loved this cat, maybe he could be her pet, but she really wasn’t sure what this little guy could do about the Kikensteins. 

Suddenly, a razor sharp pair of claws were at her throat. Jonny tightened his grasp, and she couldn’t possibly move the cat without cutting her throat open. “Well, if you’re going to kill me, Mr. Cat, I’d say thank you very much.” said the girl, much too fast and much too seriously. Surely she had had a terrible, and sad life, and had contemplated dying many times. “Well, Girl?” he said as he retracted his claws and returned his paws to his chest. “What can I do about the Kikenstein villagers who locked you up here with these claws?”. She looked at him dumbly, not really processing his point. He jumped out of her arms and back onto the floor as she looked on. “Well, I’m trying to say I can kill them, if that’s alright with you. Well, we’re going to do it anyways, I truly hate these things.” expressed the little black cat as he took a spot on her bed and put his head into his paws while eyeing her down across the room. “Well, can I help you, Mr. Cat? I think they should all die. They’re horrible, and awful! I can’t believe they’ve been allowed to do all of this for so long!”. “Of course, that’s why I’m here. The rest of my clan, all 7 members are out, playing with the rest of the villagers. Not as nicely as I’m playing with you, they’re letting me know they’ve already killed 10 of your police officers, 2 of your lawmen, 5 of your market workers, and had fun with lots of the rest. We work pretty quick. So, what can I do for you, Princess? Who do you hate? Who’s wronged you in your life?” asked the cat as his menacing eyes hovered a couple inches from the bed.

“Well.. it’s mostly the ruler who I hate the most.. He’s tried to make me his wife so many times, he still comes by every couple of months to try again. He brings me the cheese and bread, and then he tries to touch me.. I have to fight him off every time. He gets all mad that I take the cheese and bread and won’t be his wife, he calls me names, tries to beat me. I hate him, it’s Brat Kikenstein, the tall one who lives in the only two story house in the village.” Jonny possessed this ruler's mind using his superpowers as a cat, and tuned in to his current actions. He was.. laying on his bed, horribly fat, doing something to his butt while looking at a picture of Saturn.. He tuned this frequency out. “Well, I hate him already! We don’t have to talk about him any more. I can see why you’d hate him”, said the cat, disgusted with the display he just saw and the treatment of this young girl. “That’s just the beginning of what he’s done to me.. he has tried to touch me so many times, he only started really leaving me alone a couple years ago. He also has some little short and fat friend who comes by and yells at me to be with Brat, he calls me names and yells at me from the foot of the tower. A couple of times they both tried to hold me down, but I grabbed a knife and stabbed the little one in the chest, before they both ran away. His name is Tristan Stein, I believe. He’s a little fat one with no hair except on his gross body.” finished the princess. “Those are the two villagers who come after me, pretty much. They don’t want anyone else to see me, or touch me. The old ruler of this village made me the tower as a little girl to keep me away from everybody else, and get me ready to marry his son, Brat. But why do you need to know, Mr. Cat? What are you going to do to them?” she said questioningly, processing the cat could have easily killed her, and believing in him just a little bit more.

“Well, Princess, I’m going to kill them and send them straight to hell within a few days. I’m also going to free you, and a couple of the other female villagers. We’re going to give you whatever it is you need to be healthy, and happy, if that’s alright with you.” said Mr. Cat, not moving from his position, like a reptile or a dragon - totally still. “I guess that would be everything I ever dreamed of! Is this a dream, Mr. Cat?” she said as she came next to him on the bed, taking a seat. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Maybe it’s all a dream, maybe your whole life isn’t real. But don’t you want to have a better dream? I’m here to take care of you.” said the cat as he turned his dragon eyes to her. “You’re strange.. Mr. Cat.. do you have a name?”

“You can call me Jonny, Princess. I’d say that’s my name.” he said as he put his head down into his paws and took a nap. She hesitantly put her hand out and began petting the little cat, as he purred. They continued their conversation and got ready for the little cat’s plan. “What a beautiful morning, at the dawn of spring, even here in this dreadful village called Kikenstein.” thought the beautiful young girl.

CHAPTER 4 : Nightfall on Day One

          Trina and Violet were hidden in a corner in the local police station. They had gathered at nightfall after losing a lot of their guys to sudden disappearances, and murders. It seemed they were clawed to death by cats, and one of them fell into a pot of boiling water and melted his face off before they had to beat him to death to end his misery. Trina and Violet were under a cabinet, in the shadows, observing their gathering. “Squadron, it’s been a tough night for us tonight. It seems those damn cats are after us again, just like the stuff of legend. We all know who this is and what they’re up to, we just have to keep our heads on and keep fighting!” said the lead officer at the front of the room, a 500 pound man who needed to sit down after letting out this speech. The rest of the 27 police members looked at each other in horror, just trying to keep their cool and not poop their garments too much. A couple of them began crying, and moaning pitifully, and one of them ran out of the room saying “I don’t want to do this anymore!!! I didn’t sign up for this!!! I need my mommy!!!” as he waddled out of the room into the pouring rain. Scarlet was outside the police station, and she rolled another wheel of cheese his way as he desperately attempted to get back to his mommy’s house. He fell on his face and into the mud as the torrential rainfall took over the village. He was shitting himself, vomiting, crying and yelling, a pitiful display, and he couldn’t get all 600 pounds of himself anywhere near standing up. He began to squeal like a pig as he ran out of energy and lay there hopeless. Scarlet walked up to him, the black female with light red eyes, and she pawed his eyeballs a little before slitting his throat and leaving him in the street. His little badge fell into the mud, in a pile of his own shit and vomit and he died slowly in the pouring rain, horrified and going straight to hell. 

         Scarlet returned to her post, watching the exit to the police station. We return to Violet and Trina. The lead officer was all out of breathe, and sitting down. It didn’t seem like he or any of the other officers had any idea what was happening, or any idea what to do. They had a big stash of donuts they were all desperately reaching for, shoving into their big mouths and lying down in a group. One of the officers on the floor, a dark skinned 600 pound man, began yelling out “Saturn! Oh glorious Saturn! Save us from the cats!” he feebly bellowed as he lay on the floor. The officer reached for 3 more donuts on a big pile he saved up, and desperately shoved them into his mouth. Most of the other officers were putting on a display very similar to this, including their leader, who couldn’t talk much more for the night. “We’ve got… safety in numbers boys… it’ll all be good..” he let out, before laying down again and shoving 4 more donuts into his mouth desperately, and shitting his pants loudly enough for everyone to hear. 

           Trina and Violet didn’t really know what to make of all this - it seemed they were done for the night. They didn’t have a plan at all, and they were all just laying on the floor pounding donuts at a horrifying pace, gaining weight in front of their very eyes. They just kept watching, to make sure they suffered more, while devising how to make their nights even worse. A crack of thunder was heard that was ear destroying, right next to the police station. The rain started to pour harder and harder, and suddenly the stream started coming in through the door. Within seconds, the entire station was filled with water. The officers on the floor let our horrifyingly pathetic noises, and Trina and Violet decided to pounce. They sprinted over, and took out the officers’ eyeballs one by one in quick succession using their claws. They ripped up their faces into shreds, and didn’t bother touching their horrifyingly obese bodies with their claws. The officers were all creatures now, and their blood and pus was filling the room, while the rain water flooded in more and more. They were all screaming as much as they could as their vocal cords broke, leaving them mute and helpless. They were more blobs, blobs made of pus and parasites, mixing in with the new flood water. Trina and Violet perched up onto a high shelf and continued to watch before their escape out of a drain pipe next to them. Trina’s yellow gold eyes and Violet’s deep purple eyes hovered next to each other, staring down viciously at the brutal and hilarious scene. They shared a laugh, and intertwined their tails a bit to express affection. The flood became worse and worse, filling up the whole room as the immobilized creatures desperately struggled and reached for more donuts. 

           There were no more words coming out of their mouths, the door was blown down completely, and another strike of lightning zapped the entire flooded area. The electricity conducted in the water, and the entire village was electrocuted. They died in a second, and their huge corpses floated in the room, towards the doorways, but they were simply much too large to get out. The flood lightly subsided, but the rainfall continued to pour. Violet and Trina were still perched on the high shelf, satisfied to know they were in hell. They took one last glance at the freshly dead policemen as their bodies popped and their fat and pus streamed into the water. They were floating around, and bouncing off the walls and each other’s corpses. The stench was absolutely putrid, and the two girl cats decided to finally run out. They ran over to Scarlet at her post, and told her all about what they just witnessed as they cackled and laughed merrily as the rain began to calm down more. Blood and pus water was spilling out of the windows as they cracked and showed the police men’s rotten corpses. 

          Crystal, Forest, and Ash were already back at the base. The other three girl cats still in town went to meet up with Jonny in the girl’s tower. They ran across town hurriedly, witnessing some more of the blobs in the windows and some horrified screams all throughout the village. A couple of the more intelligent women had made it to the rooftops, because they weren’t too busy desperately eating donuts. They were keeping warm with blankets and rags, huddled down and trying to survive the night. The women couldn’t see the cats, but the trio was happy to see they made it. The rain was continuing, not crescendoing, a steady downpour. The entire village was flooded and the houses were being destroyed. The three cats all got to the tower and climbed in the same way Jonny did, into the iron bar windows  - by hopping on floating logs and barrels through the village and jumping in. They quickly made it up to the princesses’ chambers, and found her simply holding Jonny in her lap, petting the little cat while he purred and took a nap. She had barely noticed the rain with her new friend, they had been playing around with her toys and he was tuckered out. She took a second to notice the rest of the girl cats who had entered into the room - Scarlet, Trina, and Violet. 

         She sat there, with the napping black cat in her lap, and made eye contact with the three cats. They seemed to be girls. The one on the left was black with lighter red eyes than Jonny, with more coarse fur. The next one over was a soft white cat, with piercing golden eyes. The last cat went up the ladder and into the room behind the other two, this one dark brown with deep purple eyes. They all entered the room and sat on their butts with their heads held up and looked at the girl, as if to say hi. Princess wasn’t sure what to do, so she roused Jonny lightly. Jonny woke up, and lifted his head up from the girl’s lap. He made eye contact with the 3 girls from his clan, and hopped off her lap to say hi. They all nuzzled up to each other, and communicated about their days. The girl was just sitting there, a bit confused, or a lot confused - but not scared. These must have been some of the other members of his “clan” that he told her about. 

       After a little period of hanging out in the girl’s room and playing with each other, Jonny and the girls turned to the princess. “Girl, these are a couple of the cats from my clan. Scarlet, Trina, and Violet. I think they have some fun stories to tell you, but I don’t think we are going to sleep in this gross tower tonight. Do you want to come back with us to my place?” said the soft black cat with the dark crimson eyes. He was back to paying attention to her, but she really wasn’t sure what he meant by “his place.” Was it a den or something? A hole? She wasn’t sure she’d fit. “Where, Mr. Cat? What do you mean? How will we get out of here, it’s bolted and chained from the outside!” She wanted to go, she didn’t care if it was a den or a hole or a tree. She wanted to leave this place more than anything, she had always wanted to run away into the forest, but the tower was completely inescapable. 

        “It’s a place called Timeria. We live in a big white palace in the forest, that we made many years ago with the help of some friends. Here, I’ll just show you.” said Jonny casually. His eyes burned and he looked in the corner of the room. Red electricity filled the air and a small red oval made of magic began to appear in the room. He kept burning it in with the electricity from his eyes, and a portal was opened. The outline of the image it showed was red electricity that sparked like magic in the girl's tainted, cold and lonely room. On the other side, she could see a palace made of white marble, the steps leading up to the entrance, vines and flowers growing on the walls, and 3 more cats waiting for them. “Well, we’re going. You can come if you want. The portal should be open for a while.” continued Jonny as he nonchalantly walked in the hole and appeared on the other side. He began walking up the steps, and the other 3 girl cats followed his lead, almost as nonchalantly as their leader. They disappeared from the girl’s room and followed him up the steps on the other side of the portal. Princes sat there, dumbstruck. She took a second to herself, gathered her senses, and looked around the room for anything she might need. There wasn’t much at all, so she grabbed the Superhuman book from her desk and hurriedly ran through. She disappeared from the room in an instant, and the red portal closed behind her. 

♾️

          Princess appeared on the other side of the portal, and the crisp, cold night air was wet on her skin. She went into a state of shock, it was the first time she had felt the beautiful feeling of being outside in years and years. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been out of the tower, she must have just been a young girl. The cats were walking up the large staircase that led up the palace. The moon hung high in the sky, a full moon. The stars shone down on the girl, undisturbed in this foreign land of Timeria. She was overwhelmed with emotion, it was the best feeling of her entire life. She stood there petrified, and looked up at the sky with tears in her eyes. The cats kept walking up the steps, and waited for her at the top. The portal began to close behind her, with the image of the room at the top of the tower closing with it. She turned back and watched, as her prison for all those years became smaller and smaller, abandoned. She saw the candles go out and the room go dark, as the portal totally vanished from existence, and was replaced with a view of the dark, wild forest. There were wild noises coming from the forest and all around, of animals she didn’t know the names of. She gained her senses, and turned around to the palace, walking up the steps. It was plenty bright in the night, the moon and stars illuminated everything beautifully. 

         The 7 cats stood at the top of the steps as the girl began to go up the marble steps to the entrance of the palace. It was huge, sprawling, and she couldn’t quite make everything out. It seemed to have huge pillars with vines and flowers growing on them. The cat’s eyes burned at her in the dark night from the top of the steps, in their various shades, colors, and hues. She was horrified, it was an incredibly intense experience, and her body, skin, hair, and spirit would take awhile to get used to this, being outside thing. The night was cold, but not cruel. It was more a crisp, lush feeling of a thriving forest at night, than a bitter cold. She continued up the steps, slowly and carefully, watching her steps as her eyes slowly started to adjust to the night, and her new situation. As she continued up the steps, Jonny the little black cat said “Hurry up! I’m getting bored.” as he dug his face into his paws. The girl put a little pep in her step and found herself near the top of the steps. “Alright, girl. I’m getting very sleepy and I’m going to retire in my chambers at the top of this palace. I had a room ordered for you, and I’ll show you to it right now. Sound good?” expressed the alpha cat. The girl obediently nodded, in a happy way, and said nothing. The moon shone high in the sky and caught her attention for a bit. “Well, anyways, say bye to the girls, you’ll be alone tonight.” said Jonny. “Okay! That’s fine, I’m used to it. This place is a lot nicer, thanks Mr Cat!” responded Princess. “Bye girls!” the human princess said as the 6 girl cats walked into the palace and disappeared from her vision. “You guys are so quiet and cool, Mr. Cat! How do you do that!” asked the girl to Mr. Cat. (Jonny). “Simple! Stay on your toes, and your pads, and keep your heels up! Watch your step and pick up your feet! Then, you can be a little more like us. There’s no reason to make noise when you walk, girl. You have a lot to learn.” answered the wise black cat, as he stared daggers into her soul from the ground. “But what about these shoes, mr cat? Don’t these make noise? Don’t I need to protect my feet?” she said as she looked down at a much too tight pair of leather slippers. 

        “Well, do I need to protect my feet, princess? I’m just a little soft cat.” he said, picking up his pristine pink paws and showing them off as they conversed in the moonlight. He was at the top of the steps still, pacing around silently, and she stood there in the moonlight, around 10 steps down from him. There were, perhaps 100 steps on the entirety of the walkway. Birds flew by in the night. She could hear their beating wings, and caught a glimpse of a white owl as it passed by the palace. “I guess not, Mr. Cat. You’re so smart. I guess I’ll just throw them out then, then it’ll be so much harder to be heard! I just hope I can stay clean.” answered the princess as she remembered her conversation. “Oh, you’ll be so clean! We have the nicest room set up for you, I’m sure you’ll like it. Me and Jerry, your robot assistant on wheels set it up earlier while you weren’t paying attention. Anyways, off we go. Come on.”, he said, as he turned away from the princess and stalked silently and rapidly into the main entrance of his incredible marble palace. Princess got it together, and got scared of the prospect of losing the cat, and quickly ran inside after kicking her shoes off.

       Jonny the black cat with the crimson eyes was nowhere to be found. For a moment, he meowed lightly and she followed the sound. He was to the right of the entrance, waiting for her on top of another flight of stairs. “Mr. Cat! What about my shoes! And my feet! I might ruin the place, won't you be mad?” asked the girl, exasperated.  “No! I don’t care at all! It’s just not a big deal at all! Don’t ask me stupid questions like that! The wind will get it, and you aren’t stinky! Or the robot will, or I’ll just deal with it! Why are humans so dumb? Girl?” The girl stood there, not sad, more just accepting he made a good point. The palace was absolutely huge, so clean and lush, filled with flowers and fruits. She guessed, her pair of shoes and stinky feet weren’t such a big deal. As she walked up the steps to the right side to follow the cat, she noticed that it was much much easier to walk! The smooth marble stone of the staircase felt beautiful on her sensitive feet pads. She liked his advice, staying on her toes and pads, like a cat. It would clearly take some time to get used to, but she already felt sharper and more capable than when she was wearing those tight, leather slippers given to her by the Kikensteins. “Mr cat, It’s like you’re so mean, but so so nice! You’re like, the opposite of the Kikensteins! They pretend to be nice, but are actually mean! You make me feel so stupid, but I learn so fast! Thank you Mr. Cat!” she said with tears in her eyes as they reached the second story. Jonny bowed his head, as if to say, “You’re welcome.” 

         She felt smarter already, the crisp night air still filled the palace, it was very open and lush. Her senses were becoming more and more sharp, and she could follow the cat a little easier now. She decided to just shut up and follow him around for a bit. He turned away from her as she stood barefoot, the sweaty smell from the constrictive shoes filling his nostrils. If this were a more disgusting human, it would be horrifying and disgusting! But, she was quite pretty, so it was quite nice, even if she’d never smell like that again due to the lack of stupidity, and shoes, in the palace. “You see, if you never wear the shoes in the first place, you’d never smell like that. The sweat and stink would all go up in the air, instead of getting all stuck in your shoes. Over time, your feet will acclimate to walking around, become tough and callused. So, if you want nice pink pads like mine, you’ll have to watch your step, step lightly and carefully, and try to be as perfect as possible. I think you’re doing great.” continued Mr. Cat, as he accepted his new nickname and pulled up onto a wooden door, with the name “PRINCESS” engraved in a shimmering gold, after a short walk on the right side of the second story of his stunning palace. She looked stunning and beautiful, in her bare feet and tattered dress. The moonlight and stars could be seen at the top of the gigantic palace, through the top of the opening that was startlingly high up. This part of the palace had no ceiling, it was open, the main courtyard. But when the walls are so high, and everything is so lush and beautiful, it can be hard to tell what’s up or down, what’s covered or open, what’s real or fake, and what’s a dream or reality. 

        The girl and Jonny stood there awkwardly, as she felt apprehensive to step in the room. She was sure it wasn’t a trap, the thought didn’t even cross her mind. She was just scared, to see that mysterious word burned into the pleasantly dark wood of the door to her new room. She stood there, petrified, and read the word. The “Superhuman” book was being cradled and caressed in her soft hands, and she looked down at it as she took a moment to herself. “Well, I think you’ll like it. It’s not too big, just something about 3 times as big as your previous chambers at the top the tower. I didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed. It’s maybe 500 square feet, and you have a very nice view of the gardens. We have the finest trees in all the world, and the pink sakuras I had imported from the aisle of Japan are blossoming. There’s tons of wildlife, flowers, rivers and streams, and more than I could possibly describe simply waiting to be seen right out of your window. I recommend you try staring at things for a while, observing their behavior and learning from them. Just keep it in mind” said Jonny, the nerdy, nice black cat. “You have so many fun, good ideas, Mr. Cat! I think I’m ready to go in.” said the young girl, excited. “Well? Then, go in! I’m leaving you. Also this room is enchanted with a magic spell, only you are allowed in. Jerry will come to visit you tomorrow morning, out in the hall, and you should find every single thing you could need and more ready for you. I have to go now, girl, it’s nothing personal. It’s just, I have a big trip planned to Saturn tomorrow to meet my old friend. I really think he will like you. So, go in, please. Enjoy.” finished the black cat, as he disappeared from her vision suddenly, and unexpectedly. She had no clue which direction he went, if he left at all, if he was ever there - just nothing. All she did know was she was in a massive, beautiful palace filled with leaves and vines and flowers, and there was a room with the name “Princess” engraved in gold in front of her. She looked around for the cat, worried she might wake up from this dream and be back in her chambers, locked up and cold, with her big book to help her out. But, she didn’t wake up. She was just there, in this massive foreign place beyond description or comprehension, in her bare feet, thinking about how she just might meet Saturn soon. She really believed he was real. She sucked it up, and turned the handle to the little wooden door to her room. It was all, exactly as he described and more. She found a pantry filled with the finest foods, as they penetrated her nostrils with scents of baked goods unlike anything she could have ever dreamed of. She grabbed a couple biscuits, chowed down happily but not greedily, and rapidly found herself asleep on a cozy bed, with the cold night air on her skin through an open window. She would have looked out, but she was much too tired. 

CHAPTER 5 : SATURN 

         Jonny arrived at the top of the tower. He had run away from the girl, because he was so excited to take a nap and then go to Saturn to meet one his favorite humanoid friends, Saturn. He also liked to be called Crimson, the red deity of Saturn. He hopped onto his big, king sized bed with red velvet silk sheets and soft pillows made of fur from slain rival cats, and fell asleep as he meowed. He had a beautiful view of Timeria, the surrounding cliffs, the forests and rivers of the area, all of it. It could all be seen through his pure glass window, on the 5th floor in the center of the palace. The faint river sound and croaking frogs guided his sleep, and he drifted away into a dream land, dreaming of faraway places and playing games with his cat friends. 

         The sun shone in at the crack of dawn, and roused him as it rose upon the forest to the east. Jonny’s eyes were flooded with some golden rays of light, and he slowly opened his eyes, dreaming of pawing a little mouse with his claws. He didn’t want the dream to stop, but he quickly remembered he had work to do today. Before too long, he was awake, and the sound of the chirping birds, soft rolling waves, scurrying animals, and a few of his cat wives playing in the distance filled his senses. They were down, somewhere in Timeria, chasing after bunnies. Killing them, eating them, the usual. He would have loved to join, but he wanted to visit Saturn for the first time in a couple years today. So, on day 2, the cats held back and stayed at Timeria, while the terrorized and dead villagers desperately tried to clean up and stay safe, deluded into thinking it was over. However, they all got too tired except the women, and spent most of the day, if not all, consuming donuts in horrifying quantities. 

          He laughed a bit in his own way to see the villagers display such pathetic, human behavior, and got ready to head to the cave on Saturn. He looked at his wall, one decorated with a nice painting of Saturn in his cave another impressionist artist had given him many years ago. “This is a nice spot for the portal” thought the little magical cat. He put his head down onto his paws, stared daggers at the painting of Saturn and his Dragon, and began chanting a magical spell in his mind's eye. “doremi la cavern des chantara” started the cat in some foreign dialect. The portal began to rip open and red electricity shot from his eyes, as another magical oval portal appeared in the room. This one, had a purple dark energy to it, and it sent electric sparks throughout the room. One of them hit Jonny, and he felt alive for a second! On the other side of the portal, was a small little entrance to a cave, hidden somewhere in Saturn - the planet. It was the Great Chemara mountain range, Saturn’s dwelling ground and home to his mighty, mysterious cave. There was a raging blizzard and snowstorm, it must have been 100 degrees below zero at least in these horrifying conditions. It would have been absolutely impossible for just about anyone else to ever find Saturn, as he intended. 

           Jonny left no time to waste. He hurried through the portal as it vanished behind him, and quickly ran into the tiny hole before feeling the cold mountain air on his fur too long. He scurried in, and began sprinting through the cavern faster than a naked eye could see. It was huge and sprawling, and it began with a very long, very tight hole made of stone with jagged rocks in complete darkness. With his eyes, he could still see, and since he had traversed the path so many times over the eons, it was like second nature to him. He leaped over a large booby trap that would have sent him down into a set of jagged rocks, and turned right to a fork towards Saturn’s cave, instead of left towards a spider demon infested dungeon maze. The cave opened up, and became quite large as he continued along the path at his breakneck pace. A little cave river was flowing next to him as he ran along the path, which was a bit safer and pleasant now. Yellow, orange, and purple neon fungi lit up the top of the cave, along with many different vines and flowers that grew in these conditions, photosynthesizing the light from the glowing mushrooms. He heard a couple cave birds tweeting and chirping as a massive axe swung 2 feet behind him that surely would have vanquished any lesser trespasser. He kept sprinting through the room with the fungi and the river, and eventually found its exit down a staircase carved from the very stone of the cave. As he ran through, a stone suddenly slammed behind him and cut the door off. There was a stalker cat who had followed him all the way over here, somehow, through dimensions and time. Jonny and Saturn sniffed him out eons ago and the path to Saturn’s cave was just getting started.  Surely this stalker was here to watch the legend of Jonny and the little black cat, and his red deity friend Saturn, but he never came close. Surely he had a name, a life, some reason for being here, but he was just another stalker to the famous creatures. This stalker cat found himself alone in the big cavern, with the glowing fungi, stuck with no escape. Jonny could hear him yelling about “monsters” and begging for “help” from the mighty black cat, but he had seen it too many times to possibly care. He tuned out the screams and horrifying noises as he reached the bottom of the staircase into the next section of Saturn’s little maze. 

         He entered the room of mirrors with a distinct confidence reserved for a select few. It was huge, sprawling, and the door up the staircase slammed down with a pure, pristine mirror that reflected the little cat's reflection. This big room had a high ceiling, and was completely made of mirrors. Little wax candles lit the path - that never went out, unless touched by a trespasser. Many times, they would get lost and just decide to put the candles out to make it harder for Saturn’s friends who could “easily” navigate the maze to get there. Only a few mortals ever made it this far, with incredible amounts of help, and every single one of them decided to put out the candles until they starved to their deaths. Some of their bodies could be seen in the hall of horrifying reflections, barely illuminated at all after all these years, except by 8 small candles throughout the room that reflected off the perfect, pristine mirrors. The mirrors were unbreakable, untouchable, incapable of taking a stain or a scratch. They stood 20 feet high, some were angled, and all of them were confusing. Once upon a time, the candles lit the path, and made it a bit easier to get through. Jonny made his eyes huge and dilated, and to him the room may as well have been perfectly lit. He bounded over a stack of dead bodies and traversed the entire horrifying maze in a matter of mere minutes, a 20 square mile jigsaw puzzle made by the deity Saturn himself. He entered the next area, a gigantic clearing of cavern with a massive drop into a waterfall that flowed from the previous river. 

          It was now crashing, and huge. There were little “landing spots” around 30 feet apart, little pillars that were the only way through the massive passage. Everything else was a sheer cliff, that led down into this harsh waterfall lined with jagged, massive rocks. Jonny could smell blood from some corpses from years ago coming up from the deep drop, at the bottom of the cliffs, as he effortlessly jumped from rock to rock and entered the next room, leaving them in his wake. Fungi and plants were living off their corpses, slowly devouring them. “The circle of life is a beautiful thing” thought Jonny the cat, as he strolled through the next passage, an illuminated garden with very bright fungi on the ceiling. The sun may as well have been out, it was so beautiful. A little gift bestowed by Saturn to some of the travelers to his cave, a moment of respite on the perilous journey, which he was sure would be quite fun to them. 

         There was a calm pond in the center of the room, and some white cave birds chirping and singing a little song. He walked over a nice bridge, over the big circular pond filled with clean, crisp water. A single drop of water fell from the ceiling and caught his eye as it fell down, leaving a circular residual wave emanating from its wake. A pair of eyes appeared from the little ripple, a crocodile. “Hi Jonny.” said the crocodile into the little cat’s mind. Jonny stopped his walk, and locked eyes with the crocodile. They were old friends, but he never bothered to learn his name. Most of their interactions went like this. The crocodile would mostly just sit there in the pond, unflinching and unmoving, for hours and days at a time. He mostly lived off of cave birds, but would occasionally get lucky and kill a human traveler who wandered this far, in a desperate attempt to find Saturn, their homosexual dream boat. Jonny turned away and kept walking along the little path, enjoying this room, with its lush cave greenery and charming little ecosystem. Up next, was a massive lake. There was no bridge or anything, this was not a charming pond in a little rest area. 

         It was a massive, unflinching lake with a high ceiling. There was no land, no way to the other side, which he could make out a little bit a couple miles to the other side of the cavern. He was around halfway there, if he recalled correctly. Jonny didn’t need lights - his eyes could adjust to anything, and he enjoyed the total darkness of this horrifyingly large and menacing cave lake, deep in the Chemara mountain ranges at the North Pole of Saturn. Suddenly, a pair of large thresher sharks began to peep their fins out of the water, and circled each other while sending beautiful ripples out to the ends of the water. They looked beautiful, smooth, and circular in the calm, clean lake. Suddenly, 5 human heads that had been severed and brutalized by the sharks appeared from the center of their circling dance. They were beautiful, some ugly men who had been incredibly lucky, incredibly rich, and incredibly interested in meeting Saturn. Here, in the cave lake, not even close to being close to meeting the immortal Deity of the Chemara mountains. Just a couple of dead and rotten corpses, floating at the top of the lake, surely to be eaten by the fungi and plants. Jonny nodded his head in approval at his shark friends. They swam over to the lakeside he was waiting at, and happily jumped out of the water to display their love for their old friend, Jonny. One of them pulled up to him, and offered him a ride. Jonny hopped on happily, and said “Hi Sally! Hi Jane. How goes it?” asked the black cat to the sharks taking him across the lake. He nuzzled up to the shark’s fin as he held on. This one was Sally. He remembered bringing them here to this nice, nightmare lake all those eons ago with his best friend. “It’s pretty good, Jonny. Every couple of months, we get some lucky human visitors who make it this far. They try to swim!” said Jane the thresher shark as she cackled with her evil teeth showing blood. Sally laughed along, and they were 20% of the way to the other side. “We also get all types of humanoids and aliens from all around the universe, maybe one group a week, but our dear little writer is still just a 22 year old human who doesn’t even know of those things.” said Sally as he rode along. “A fourth wall break? Let’s not acknowledge that.” said Jonny the cat as he shifted the subject. “How’s your ecosystem doing? Any kids?” asked Jonny, flustered. 

          “Oh of course! We both just laid eggs and Jerry got to them the other week. This place is totally infested!” answered Jane the shark. “Very good! Is he asleep or something?” asked the cat, in reference to the great thresher shark who ran this pond, a 50 foot monster. “Maybe another time.” said Sally. “There was a pair of aliens who could breathe underwater, see, they had weapons, synthetic flesh, the keys to eternal life - everything. And here they were, trying to crowd Saturn’s space. So Jerry dragged them under, deep into the pits of this Tartarus lake and has been torturing them all week. Anyways, maybe next time.” answered one of the sharks. “Too bad, sounds great for him though. It’s nice to hear he loves his job.” answered Jonny, proud to have assigned Jerry so well, and proud to hear he enjoyed his time in Tartarus lake, a shark infested nightmare that knew no bottom. They reached the other side, and Jonny hopped off of Sally’s dorsal side. “See you later, girls.” he said as they swam back down into the lake. “Bye Jonny! Have fun.” communicated the girl duo as he walked into the next room. 

         The walkway became small and the cave constricted tighter and tighter. It was another maze, the poisoned vine maze with no end. He took a deep breathe through his nose, and began running again. He was, a little tired, maybe. Not really, but he could use some food later. He ran and ran and ran, over the purple thorns, over corpses and zombies, in complete and utter darkness the whole time. The sound of his light paw steps could only be heard to him and his friend waiting for him at the end of the cave. The sound of the agile cat dashing through the thorns and ancient corpses reverberated off the walls and the various poisonous plants that infested the poison maze of Saturn’s. He passed a den of black widow spiders as he was around halfway through. There was a million and more of them, tucked away in a corner of the maze, crawling around their mother, a Spider Demon. “Hello Jonny” said the giant glowing red eyes of their horrifying mother. “Hello.” he said, as he continued running along. The spiders didn’t need much attention or care, saying Hi to this cat was much more than enough. He reached a massive cliff that was infested with poison tipped ivy spikes. He leaned back onto his back paws, and jumped up 20 feet in the air. He bounced off of the walls, pinpointing specific spots without the specific poison, jumping from wall to wall up the massive cliff. He reached the top, and had completed the poison maze, and was one step closer to his old friend. The maze would take mortals months, or years, at the very least - and none of them ever completed it. That was kind of the point, but they were still invited to try. Saturn was kind of a big deal, and so handsome! Of course plenty of things had to be weird about it, from all across the universe. 

          He was getting close now. Only a select few individuals knew the secret entrance to Saturn’s cave. The others who dare enter would be stuck for eons, die immediately, and not even one person who was not welcome in had ever so much as seen the great Deity. Jonny casually strolled up to an innocuous wall. The Ace of Diamonds card suddenly appeared at a seemingly random spot in the wall, their agreed upon meeting spot from when they got ready for this day many years ago. The wall became an electronic masterpiece, with many moving parts moving the wall of the cave into a beautiful staircase. The Ace of Diamonds opened up, and the walls of the entrance were decorated in cards and various circus artwork. He could hear a couple of alien trespassers coming up to his location, so the little cat ran into the new opening as the steps and machinery closed behind him. In a flash, it was back to being an innocuous patch of cave. “Ahhh… ahh… it’s been eons… we’ve eaten half our guys… all of them.. I don’t know… but his eyes… so enchanting… he will never know..” said one of the intruders as he walked by the freshly sealed walkway. Jonny laughed at him as he continued up the steps, just another imbecile that would surely die soon. For the unworthy and unbeloved, Saturn’s hellish cave had no end. It was constantly being updated, constantly moving, one trap somewhere else, a new maze, a new monster here or there. Saturn was quite the creative, and he loved his little maze under the Chemara mountain range, and all the fun videos it made. 

        Jonny pulled up to the top of the mechanical circus staircase, and into the giant, cool cavern. It was much much more pleasant, and the light from the moon came in from a skylight carved into the side of the mountain range. He was here, and would be with Saturn soon. He looked far out into the gigantic cavern, and could see his old friend in a red crimson cloak, typing away on a typewriter, engrossed in his work. He seemed to be busy, so Jonny took a moment to grab a fish from the pond with the waterfall. The waterfall was crashing by the left side of the massive Cavern, into a large deep pond. A couple of glowing fungi lit up the roof of the cave with protrusions hanging out of the ceiling. He could hear the clicking of Saturn’s typing reverberate throughout the cave, with his blinding speed and precision from so many years of being such a creative, hard working deity. Jonny enjoyed the sound, it was pleasant to the ears, the constant clicking of his fancy electronic typewriter, as the vibrations bounced all around the ominous, but pleasant cavern. Jonny dialed in his eyes in the darkness, and looked deep into the pond. He went a little too deep, and could see sea monsters and krakens in the depths of this tiny pond. He dialed back his vision a bit, and focused on a little salmon jumping by the waterfall. He came to the edge of the pond, and jumped in while swiping this salmon perfectly. The salmon fell into the pond, along with Jonny the black cat. He took the fish, a 4 pound young fish with red meat, into his mouth and paddled back to the edge of the pond. He hopped out, somewhat in a hurry. The sea monsters and nightmare visions at the bottom of the pond actually disturbed him a bit. He liked being a soft little cat. So, he chowed down on the simple little salmon, all 4 pounds of it. Its flesh was red and pure, a fine sushi and delight to eat after his little morning workout through the maze. Its tail went into his mouth as he chomped, and our little 15 pound cat weighed 17 pounds for a minute, as his laser fast metabolism digested the animal. 

         Jonny was back to his normal 15 pounds in a couple of minutes, with his ultra metabolism perfected by years of science and training many eons ago. He was now satiated, and had earned his food this morning through his perilous jog through the cave. He began stalking up to Saturn, pretending to conceal his presence. The ace of diamonds opened the path, so Saturn must have known of Jonny’s presence. But, as Jonny pulled closer to the deity sitting down on a little sturdy wooden chair atop a mountainous pile of gold, jewelry, minerals, artifacts, and ancient technology - he saw he was simply entranced in his writings, with a pair of headphones on. His hands were like laser beams, faster than an inferior being’s eyes could possibly see. Saturn was well past being a master writer, and his fingers darted from letter to letter with relentless precision and speed. He hadn’t messed up a single letter in many eons, the crazy guy. Jonny continued walking up, and pawed a stack of gold coins. He began stepping up the mountain of treasures that sprawled all over the cavern as far as the eyes could see. Up ancient artifacts, works of art, precious vintage pieces from all across the universe, technologies from societies long gone. As he climbed up the hill, he got a better view of Saturn as he worked. Saturn was wearing a large crimson cloak made of silk, embroidered in golden threads with designs of dragons, cats, spiders, snakes, and geometry - all finely woven, intricately and perfectly tastefully into his robe. His naturally bronzed skin had gone pale after so many eons in his cave, he was very clean and moisturized. Saturn took his hands off the typewriter, and they relaxed for a moment. He softly and delicately wrapped three fingers around a marijuana joint to his right, and lit it up using a magic spell. A little flame burned from his left pointer finger, and he held the joint up. He took a long drag, and another one, and sat back in his wooden chair, enjoying the music blasting in on his headphones. 

          Saturn sat there, with his eyes closed, and Jonny could hear a trumpet solo rip beautifully, over swelling synthesizers and calming jazz drums. It appeared he may have been finished. The poor guy must have been tired, he was known to write entire masterpieces in his mornings, that would surely ring for generations and through all eternity. A little claw was necessary to get this thing to wake up, so Jonny pawed his leg through the silk cloak a bit. Saturn woke with a start, from his cat nap. His crimson eyes began spinning and whirring, and he locked into the cat by his legs. The screen of the holographic typewriter zipped shut, and he said “Jonny! Of course. I’m so sorry, I was absolutely engrossed in this epic novel I started this morning about a pair of lover ants.” said the menacing deity as his crimson eyes locked with the enchanting evil cat at his feet. Jonny playfully hopped on his friend’s lap as he sat, and began meowing, purring, and taking a nap as he continued to puff on his marijuana cigarette. “Oh please! Tell me more, I’d love to hear more.” said the cat as he lay down in his best friend’s lap after a few years apart. “Well, there’s this little worker ant with big dreams of impregnating the new queen, the princess. As a lowly worker ant, he’s never supposed to stand a chance! You’ll have to read the rest if you want to know if and how he figures it all out…”, said the charming and aloof deity with his innocent, insane eyes glowing. “It’s all written in the ant dialect from the ant nebula. I was going to leave 20 copies in random, discrete locations all throughout the nebula, to be found throughout the ages. It’s a combination of pincer noises, foot taps, and clicking sounds, a very nice language. Very musical, easy on the ears” continued the nerdy deity. 

         “Well? I’d love to have a copy.” said the little cat on his lap. “I’ll have one sent to you right now! It just hit the printing machine in the next room, I’ll have one of my assistants drop off a copy to your palace in Timeria. This one is really special to me, I’m so proud of my little ant character, please let me know what you think!” answered Saturn to his favorite cat in the whole universe. “Anyways, it’s always nice to see you, Jonny” continued Saturn as he grabbed a cat toy made of extremely precious metals beyond value from his massive stash. Saturn played with this toy as Jonny chased it around and pounced as they continued their conversation. “There was a reason you were here, yes? I’m sorry if I’m a bit out of it, it’s not so much the old age as it is the 15,000 page epic novel I just busted out in one sitting. My brain hurts, a bit.” said Saturn, possibly avoiding the topic of the young girl back on planet Earth. “Well, if you have forgotten,” said the black cat with a look of inquisitive, playful mistrust, “there’s a little village called Kikenstein engaging in Standard Human Behavior. They have some royalty, a couple good women, the standard police department humans have, and a princess I think you might like.” answered Jonny the black cat. Saturn pulled off his hood, revealing his handsome face, his beautiful and moisturized skin, his tight chiseled features, his long shoulder length black hair, and his famous crimson eyes that burned with electricity. They were just playing around on this massive mound of ridiculously precious metals and artifacts, the black cat and this silly immortal god. Saturn took a moment to answer, he had been locked up in his massive cave in the Chemara mountains many eons, and his pure, romantic heart had grown cold and alone. But Jonny could see a glint of hope and love in his eyes, as he ran around with the titanium alloy golden cat toy. “Well, they worship you. They have posters of Saturn all around the town, a couple of pieces of the classic catalog, a couple of your pieces in the library. The girl was even reading Superhuman, believe it or not.” continued Jonny the black cat. 

         Saturn had become unresponsive. He was looking at Jonny with his chiseled face in the moonlight, but he was just listening. He beckoned for Jonny to continue, and picked up another toy from the massive pile. A little golden ball, with snakes and dragons carved into its smooth surface was in his hands. It was just big enough to fit in both Jonny’s cat mouth and Saturn’s hands. “Fetch?” asked the deity to the little cat. “Of course!” said Jonny as they got ready to put on a show for themselves. Saturn cocked his hand back, with the little gold ball in his hand, aimed way down the cave, that had no end in sight. It was an endless sprawl of cavern, absolutely filled with the gold, titanium, artifacts, and technology that defy description by this limited language. He took aim, and in the blink of an eye this little ball was traveling at supersonic speeds through the cavern. Jonny picked up his pace, and followed the little ball as it flew through the air. Saturn had the necessary frames to watch what was truly happening, as the ball twisted and turned throughout the cave. He was quite good at throwing things, there was no magic here, just an advanced understanding of physics, aerodynamics, and quite the arm. Jonny the cat followed it as it bounced and spun around, following its tail the whole time. His eyes were burning crimson, and eventually the little cat toy hit a wall, and Jonny grabbed it in his mouth before falling 40 feet back down to the pile of treasures, landing softly with the toy cradled in his mouth.. He began running back for the next toss as they continued their conversation. 

        “We had a nice day of terrorizing the village yesterday. I was hanging out with the girl, she’s called Princess, while the girls had fun killing some of the police creatively, and other bad village folk.” continued Jonny as he continued darting around the cavern chasing Saturn’s mighty tosses. He had lots of fun training his eyes to follow this wild gold ball, and had lots of fun jumping off the walls in pursuit of it. “How incredibly standard, and incredibly human. I’m assuming they’re pissing and shitting in the food, to say the least?” asked Saturn, already knowing the answer. Jonny nodded his head as brought back another one of Saturn’s tosses. They took a break from playing fetch, and just stood around on the pile of precious goods as they continued their conversation, picking up little artifacts as they strolled around. “Well, the girl is very very sweet, and quite innocent. She has beautiful blonde hair and gorgeous large brown eyes that reflect the sunlight. She’s gone thin and weak over the years in the tower, just a skeleton - the poor thing. I’m sure she’s doing better with the food in her private room in Timeria.” continued the black cat. “That’s good to hear, it is so sad when pathetic jealous idiots ruin a good person’s life. I’m glad you saved her first, I would have done the same!” replied Saturn, fiddling with some ancient phone device he picked up off the mound. “He’s just shy..” thought Jonny as he tried to continue the  conversation with his reclusive friend. 

         Saturn pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket and began practicing one of his favorite and most famous moves, the card throw. He did it with blinding precision and speed every time, breaking the laws of physics with his deity’s toss. There were a couple of targets, 5 in total, around 2 miles from their current location, just standing on more piles of gold and minerals. He took a single card, one by one, between his right index and middle finger, and hurled it in a fraction of a second. Jonny watched as the card went to the right, and curved into the leftmost bulls eye as it penetrated the surface with its side. Saturn kept doing this for a while, hitting the bulls eyes and filling them with his deck of cards and magical tosses. “Well, I’ll have to come by, of course. This girl sounds quite nice, and you said they are even fans?” said the deity with a sinister grin on his face, as he continued his horrifying attack on the targets 2 full miles away, with his deck of cards. “Yes, of course! I guess they haven’t heard of me,” said Jonny the cat, “but they’ve definitely heard of you, Saturn! In one way or another. I think every single home in the village must have had at least one poster of your likeness, they’re certifiably a fan club!” said Jonny, as he sprinted over to check out the damage to the targets and retrieve his friends cards for him. “Well, it’s been awhile, but I can’t let my fans down! I think I’m ready to put on a show, I sure do hope I don’t disappoint!” joked the immortal deity, as the ace of spades left his fingertips, traveled in a straight line perfectly, past the speed of light, and then gently and perfectly penetrated the last bullseye a mere foot in front of Jonny the cat’s face. “Very nice! I think you may be better than last time” said the cat, as he got the cards from the targets into his mouth, and began bringing them back to his friend. 

     Jonny brought the cards back to his friend, and they continued practicing, exercising, and conversing for a little while. When they were bored, Jonny brought the cards back one more time and Saturn returned the deck to his pocket. “Anyways, that’s enough for now. I think I know enough to pay the village a visit, Jonny. Why don’t you head back and take care of the girl while I drop these copies of the Ant novel at the Ant Nebula?” said Saturn as he pulled his large crimson hood over his head. “Sounds great. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” said the little black cat, as he tore open another portal displaying the door outside Princess’ room. Jonny the black cat disappeared in a moment and left Saturn in his cave, alone once again, or basically alone. Saturn walked over to the printing press, which had ten copies of the Ant Novel ready to be delivered to random, near impossible locations in the ant galaxy. He pressed a button on a piece of technology, and the roof to his cave opened up, revealing itself as micro technology and opening up. 

        He looked up to the sky, ready to go to the Ant Nebula. His eyes burned red, his spirit filled with red electricity. His knees bended, he charged up and was gone in a flash, a red bolt of electricity traveling through the universe, off to deliver his novels to random, charming locations to possibly be found at a later point in time. 

CHAPTER 6 : An Evening Stroll

         Jonny returned to the palace through the portal, and found himself outside the princess’ room. The door was open and he casually walked in to find her checking out her wardrobe in the corner of the room. She was completely entranced by the quality and selection of clothes the cats had given to her, reaching through dress after dress made of the finest materials, in the finest cuts and colors. She had been trying them on all day but still had so much more fun to have in her little closet. She was wearing a cute pink dress made of fine spider silk when the cat caught her attention. “I’m glad to see you’re having fun!” said the black cat. The sun was going down and soon it would be night. The pink cream sunset filled the room through the opened glass windows and her face looked beautiful. Jonny was not in a good mood right now. 

       “Sometimes I Wonder, Princess, if it would be better if nothing existed at all.” expressed the black cat as he walked to the window. “Sometimes I feel like I could just not exist, for all eternity. Just being absolutely nothing. And then there’d be no world with any kikensteins, humans, myself, or just anything. Including you.” said the cat as he perched on the balcony, hanging above the gardens as the sun fell down into the night. “What did I do, mr. cat? Just let me know. I’m so sorry.” said the girl with her doe eyes. “You’re just… not good enough for him, you know? I mean it took you two years to read Superhuman, and who knows what you even think that stuff is? I don’t know what that is. I don’t know what being stupid is or how you got like this. But, somehow you’re the best candidate to soothe Saturn’s loneliness. You. Somehow.” the cat continued, clearly wishing it did not exist for all eternity. The girl didn’t even pretend she wasn’t interested in Saturn, the thought didn’t even cross her mind. “Well, you’re quite the grouch Mr. cat.” 

       “Yes. I am quite the grouch.” answered the cat as it sat on the railing of her balcony. “What’s it like to be stupid, girl?” asked the cat, clearly in the worst mood she had ever seen him in. “I’m… not sure what you mean. The words.. hurt my brain, I have to sleep.. a lot. Mr. Cat, did I do something?” “Of course you did. Or how could you possibly be this stupid and disappointing? I mean, think about it. You’re dumb as hell! I mean, you couldn’t find a way out of there? For all those years? Were you even trying? Did you, god forbid touch any of those things? It’s like, why do you deserve this, girl? Nobody could ever be good enough for him.” the cat jumped off the balcony and into the garden and landed on its feet. Jonny continued talking to himself, and reminded the reader the cat was kind of, the main character in the story originally and kind of matters. 

       “Seriously, it’s like I can’t even think to myself.” thought Jonny the Cat. “Humans just think everything revolves around them, or that the princess has to have any idea what I’m thinking right now. They just cannot ever treat me or the other animals like living conscious things!” he said as he walked through the garden. He was meowing to himself, a grumpy meow, and expressing these thoughts. The girl had run down the steps of the palace and ran out into the gardens in the night. She followed the grumpy meows for awhile while Jonny continued to avoid her. She was very confused, and needed to talk to Mr. Cat. Perhaps, in some part of her pitifully stupid soul, she wanted to learn. But he was in no mood, so he kept running around the gardens casually, and meowing grumpily to himself. “I mean, think about it. We have all these beautiful flowers, like the lavenders poppy and roses, beautiful fruits and vegetables, animals for food, just absolutely everything you could dream of and more.” thought the little cat to himself.” Beautiful cliffs and oceans, fine vistas and forests, more than the imagination could possibly comprehend, and yet… still. Intelligence is such a rare trait, so so very rare among the humans, and then we have Saturn all alone in his cave. They have the hands, the tools, eyes, books, more entertainment than they could possibly ever need, and yet this… thing… that is following me around, delusionally thinking it’s the main character in my story, is somehow the most intelligent thing we can find for him. Because she kind of read one of his books? Over two years? It’s just horrifyingly pathetic.” he thought as he crossed a beautiful marble fountain with neon green water, lined with beautiful statues of cat goddesses in fine silk robes. 

       “I’ve been so good at things… for so long. I’m so fast and agile. I’ve fixed every single problem I’ve ever had and made every single dream I’ve ever had come true, like becoming a cat. I even inhabit multiple physical bodies and am a simple reincarnation of Saturn in a cat body! And still, I can’t just think to myself! I have to be expressing something to something else, for some reason, or the stupid worthless reader won’t have any idea what’s happening!” thought Jonny the cat. “Like you! Reader. What is this to you? Do I want to know? Like, do they even make it this far? Can they even say any of the words? Can they think to look it up on their phones or dictionaries? Try? Work even a little bit at all? It’s like, I still don’t know! I still have no interest in learning what it’s like to be a stupid worthless idiot, even after all these eons of being a literal cat named Jonny. But then it’s like, woooah, fourth wall break. It’s like, woooah. Does it matter? Does this cat story matter at all? It’s like, these things were allowed to shit and piss in food even once. There’s just something missing to reality itself due to this fact. The simple fact this was allowed makes all of this, the beautiful gardens and vistas, this paradise of Timeria, just feel not worth it at all.” thought the cat as the stars came out on top of the beautiful gardens, and the moon arose in the sky, in its waning phase the night after the full moon. 

       The princess followed the grumpy meows around the beautiful flower filled gardens and had a hard time keeping up. However, Mr. Cat really turned on her and she needed some kind of an explanation. She was still in her pink dress, and she was quite cold in the night. Her nipples were hard and the hairs on her skin stood up. She’d be a liar if she said she wasn’t titillated by this wild unpredictable cat. She was a little cat following zombie, following his grumpy meows throughout this giant maze of a garden, as he continued expressing distaste of how stupid everything else was. Eventually, she caught up with him by a small river that flowed softly, decorated with small, juvenile oak trees, as he perched in one of the branches with his eyes burning at her. “Anyways, I feel a little better, girl. Maybe you’re not the worst fit for my best friend.”

        The girl was standing up in the moonlight, with the light of the stars reflecting off her eyes. She was quite tired from trying to keep up with his grumpy meows, and she was in a tiny light dress. Every hair on her body was standing up, and he could see her small, soft breasts through them. However, he was into cats, but he could see the appeal. Saturn would definitely like her. “Anyways, I’m going to go take a nap and not exist for a thousand million eternities to deal with how stupid everything is after getting free will. I’ll walk you back.” said the little cat. Jonny hopped out of the tree and walked next to the girl, who was a bit exasperated and tired, but understanding the cat's point. She had to be less stupid, or how could she possibly hope to marry Saturn? They walked back in silence, as she dealt with her flustered head and the warmth between her legs, spurred on by this wild black cat who turned on her. They walked in the moonlight, back to her room. Jonny left without a word, back to the top of the palace. She lay down in her bed and fell asleep quickly, with dreams of her dream Deity Saturn coming to visit her in the night, all night. 

   ♾️

         Saturn appeared on one of the highest peaks in all of the ant Nebula as the giant, red sun disappeared into the night. This place had 4 moons, two of them pink, one purple, and the other yellow, all hanging in the night already in various phases. This was the ant queen's lair, the queen of the entire ant nebula. She lived in a massive palace made of metal and wires atop this mountain, on Trechunda - 8 - the most beautiful planet in all the ant galaxy. He walked up the steps to the top of the mountain, littered with sparking wires and technology, a beautiful sight as the immortal god with the slender body and red cloak took on the steps casually, with a copy of his epic novel ready to be bestowed to the ant queen. She was awaiting him, on a digital throne made of titanium and wires, connecting her to all the ant nebula, dishing out orders while taking in the view of Trechunda - 8. She could see wild forests and animals in neon bright colors as far as the eye could see, various mountain ranges and caves, with not many of her ant workers in sight. For the most part, they distasted her and she treated them as slaves. She was tall, erect, and humanoid, but distinctly an ant. She had an ant face with kaleidoscopic eyes, and pincers. She was wearing a dress made of pure electricity, a piece that defied the laws of reality itself, and she had beautiful hips and a soft exoskeleton , lined with soft hairs. She was quite beautiful, and if Saturn was still a young man, things may have gone differently, but he was quite professional these days. He walked up the steps as the wires sparked and their divine presences prepared to face each other, for the first time in many eons. 

         No words were spoken. He walked up the steps, unveiling his hood and beautiful face to the queen. He handed her the leather bound, gilded novel of the ant story. Her claw hands brushed against his, as she took the book and nodded in approval. He turned around, with his eyes to the horizon, and disappeared in a crack of red lightning, off to the next location in the ant nebula - deep under the seas, in a treasure chest guarded by a metal dragon. His mind was filled with thoughts of this girl Jonny had described, and her hot young body calling out for him. He had work to do, but he would be there soon. The other 8 spots in the ant nebula called his name first, and she was dreaming of him all night. 

   Chapter 7 - Saturn’s Arrival 

         The morning sun’s rays shimmered into her room at the crack of dawn. The girl awoke from her sleep in her pink dress, her body sore from the long walk chasing the cat last night. She stood up, stretched her arms and grabbed a biscuit from her pantry. This one was beautiful, warm from the sunlight, buttered to perfection, and she had a big stash of them. The energy she got from it was perfect and beautiful, and she was ready to take on the day. The beautiful view of the gardens were below her room, and she went out to visit them, from a staircase on her balcony. The beautiful biscuit invigorated her sore body and she felt sharp, ready to explore the vast and sprawling garden of Timeria. Beautiful, tall rose bushes guided her through a path of cobblestone, with apple trees, lemon trees, orange trees, and more fruits than can be described all around the place. Gorgeous flowers of red, purple, and yellow were all throughout the gardens, with giant statues of immortal deities, carved out of pure marble stood at various locations, with beautiful fountains of fine, fresh water pouring down, and high into the sky, surrounding them. A statue of a tall, slender man in a large silk hood caught her attention, holding a bow and arrow while walking menacingly. His jaw was chiseled, his head covered by a large hood, amazingly chiseled into the stone. She walked through the path to get a closer look. This must have been Saturn. 

        Jonny the cat and his wives were in the great room where he slept. The walls were decorated in violet silk. They could see the girl walking through the garden, towards one of the statues of Saturn, enjoying her morning stroll. She was smiling and entranced, in her bare feet, and they all admired her beauty and youth for a second. Before too long, they turned around and walked to the portal room, after waking up in Jonny’s big bed. The clan walked down to the portal room, repeated their ritual with the lasers from the black cat’s eyes, and returned to the front entrance of the village. A red portal disappeared behind the clan, and they were back in Kikenstein. The weather had cleared up, and a rainbow shone bright and vivid in the distance, deep in the forest. The air was crisp and wet, a gift from the pouring rains. The girl’s tower stood in the distance, cold and deserted. 

        The town was in complete shambles. All of the houses were likely permanently destroyed, all of them severely damaged from the flooding. Jonny looked up to the skies and began meowing. His mind conjured the phrase of a magic spell, and the sky turned a firey red, while blood red clouds rolled in hastily. A murder of crows swarmed from the red rolling clouds, and surrounded the town. They were cawing loud and there were too many to possibly count. They continued flying around, when an ear shattering crash of thunder and red lightning bolted down from the heavens. It shot down in front of Jonny, and with a little electric spark at the end of the lightning tail - appeared his friend Saturn, back from his journey throughout the Ant Nebula. He appeared in his large red cloak, his favorite, and greeted Jonny with his eyes. The clouds quickly dissipated back into the sky, the crows flew away with hunks of the dead villager’s flesh, and some of the living ones too. The remnants of eyeballs and organs were held in their beaks as they flew out into the the forest, the horrified screams of dead police grazing their ears as they flew away. The atmosphere became calm, and the morning was pleasant and simple again. “So this is the place, huh? Looks like the weather got it pretty good already, great job!” expressed Saturn aloud to his little cat friend and the girls. “Yes, Saturn. Brat Kikenstein, the prince of this place and our princess’ terrorist, lives over there in that two story building. His house was in remnants, an entire half of the building completely gone, the wood beams swept away by the flooding. There was Brat himself, free of any liposuction or plastic surgery, a huge tub of lard desperately reaching for donuts, uncovered due to the destruction of his home. His clothes were in tatters and he was wailing, a pitiful blob creature. His eyes were still attached to his head, and Saturn didn’t like that. A poster depicting the immortal red deity’s likeness stood on the wall, and he wanted to make sure Brat could enjoy it no longer. 

        Saturn reached into his right pocket on his cloak, and grabbed a deck of cards. He picked out a random card, the 3 of clubs. His irises twisted and burned a crimson death stare, at his blob opponent, two full miles away. He placed the card between his index and middle finger, smooth and calm, and quickly tossed the card directly to his right. The card shot through the sky in a flash, spinning wildly and perfectly through the air, curving back towards Brat, swiftly taking out both of his eyes by slicing his corneas off, and settling itself into the wood beams by his poster. Brat let out a horrified wail, probably expressing fear that his eyes had been so rapidly taken from him, so suddenly. Saturn stood in his hood with a satisfied grin, eager to retrieve his card and return it to his deck. Jonny was amused by the display, along with his cat wives. Squirrels and birds were in the trees, looking at the posse and happy to see Saturn. The team walked up to the front entrance of the town, led by Saturn, with Jonny at his side, and the cat girls following suit. 

        They swiftly and suavely walked into the village, through the front entrance. There was a wooden fence around the whole village, to protect the Kikensteins from animals. The posse walked by, with stunned stares from the surviving townsfolk. One of the cooks saw Saturn walking past, failing to even notice the cats. He was tall, maybe 6 foot 5, and he couldn’t make out his face. The cook sat there, entranced, still reaching for his pile of donuts. The immortal deity’s divine presence blinded his eyes in just a few moments, and the putrid blob cook began to die. He reached out with his thick, pudgy hands towards a donut one last time, and then fell flat on the floor, going straight to hell. Another classic case of Standard Human Behavior. The team kept walking, past the library. Trisha, the middle aged old local librarian, was in the library. It was safe, unharmed by the floods. She looked through the window while holding one of her books, and was shocked to see the immortal Deity Saturn walking by with a band of cats. Her legs became hot and moist, dripping out squirt when seeing the amazing reality of his gait, swagger, and style. Her pussy was dropping loads of squirt, her eyes absolutely entranced, the laws of time and space being warped and bended in her mind. She saw amazing visions of faraway places, lives unknown, and amazing realities with beautiful wild animals in her imagination as she stared on. He was beginning to walk on, past the library, so she hastily dropped her book on the table and ran out, leaving the door open behind her. 

        She ran up to hug him while yelling his name out, the beautiful older librarian who had worshiped him all her life. She ran up and grabbed him from behind, and he feigned surprise. “Thank you Saturn! Thank you for saving our town, and the girl!”. Jonny the cat sat there, on the ground, as always being under appreciated just because he was a little cat. Saturn hadn’t even done much! Yet. His ego was just fine, and the human woman continued grabbing Saturn’s amazing, chiseled body in his silk cloak. “Hey, it’s no problem. We’ve got to go now, but we can catch up later. Here’s a portal to the palace gardens and your own private room.” he said with a snap of the fingers. As the sound left his hand, an oval red portal depicting another room in the palace of Timeria appeared, and he gestured for her to walk in while politely getting her off of him. She looked betrayed, but Saturn had work to do. She hesitantly started to walk away, possessed by his mind a bit, while looking behind her at the deity. She walked into her room, and the portal disappeared behind her, taking the vision of Saturn with it. 

        The posse was now at the house, littered with squeals from the blinded “prince” of Kikenstein. Saturn jumped up, into the second story of the house and met with Brat. The cats followed suit, jumping from wall to wall and appearing in the room. Brat sat there, with a donut in his hand, feebly attempting to bring it to his mouth as the immortal God’s death stare looked at him for only a moment. “Don’t… look at me! Not like this!!” expressed the frightened blob, aware he was being seen only by a powerful enchanting presence in his direct surroundings. “Is that… Saturn! Don’t you see I… do it for you? What about us?” expressed the blob as it wailed and pitifully screamed, bursting it’s vocal cords. Saturn averted his gaze to his poster on the wall, depicting him and his dragon, Red. He casually grabbed the 3 of clubs from its resting spot on the wall, and returned it to his deck of cards, smoothly putting it back in his pocket. The cats looked at Brat’s display in disgust, taking sick pleasure of getting to humiliate this horrible creature. Saturn began, “So you threw the girl in the tower? Fed her bad food? Sealed her away from the outside world?” with his beautiful, enchanting boyish voice. The blob became defensive, dropping its donut and beginning to express itself. “Of course, but can’t you see? Who knows what she..” started the blob called Brat, silenced by Saturn ripping out his vocal folds with his bare hands. The Deity dropped the stolen organ onto the ground, and Brat lay there in tattered clothes, helpless and silenced, with rotten blood pouring out of his mouth. “Well, that’s all I need to know, prince. Into the cave with you.” He began incanting a magical spell, while Brat’s body began to dissipate into thin air. “Enti ai cavern des Timeria, piti putrea buftan.” The blob pitifully and weakly began to struggle, horrified of his fate, and losing contact with Saturn. The sound of flatulence and soiled pants filled the room as the last parts of the prince of Kikenstein vanished into dust. He was in the torture cave off the path in Timeria, directly into a vat of Nitrous Oxide, being kept alive by magical spells. Brat’s body was frozen and tortured, but he was horrifyingly alive, desperately calling out for Saturn to be with him again, even just for a moment.

        Saturn turned to his right, smelling Brat’s friend Tristan Stein in the next room, to his right. He could hear him behind the wall, hiding away and desperately shoving food into his mouth. Saturn opened the door, to see a naked hairy man; morbidly obese beyond recognition in his sight. A putrid, foul smell filled the room and there were parasites in the air. “Don’t… look at me!!! Don’t look!” squealed the big, hairy sack of fat called Tristan. “So? You’re complicit in this, correct?”, asked Saturn to the accomplice. “Well, yes -“ he began, as Saturn snapped his fingers perfectly in time with the one word answer he was looking for. Tristan Stein disappeared into thin air, directly into the tub with his Kikenstein friend. The village of Kikenstein was in complete shambles, their leader and infrastructure surely damned. Saturn and the cats walked out of the broken, two story home, and back onto the streets of Kikenstein. They walked out with a cool swagger, back to the front entrance and ripped open a portal to the statue of Saturn in Timeria’s great gardens. Saturn looked at the cats, and back at the portal. There was Princess, ogling the statue while sitting on a bench, in a blissful daze from the wonderful smells of the flowers and plants that inhabited the gardens. She was so lovely, young and pure, and Saturn approved so far. He took the lead and walked through the portal, ready to surprise her with his favorite clan of cats. They all walked through, leaving Kikenstein in shambles, surely to suffer and die. 

CHAPTER 8 : Olympus Mons, Mars 

        “Bring me my dinner, slave.” came a low, putrid voice. Steelon Tusk was a space alien, the self proclaimed king of Mars, and here he was, in his dark castle atop Olympus Mons, the highest peak on all of mars. He was on a large sofa, with a large screen showing various angles of a small, skinny human working in a laboratory. “Nekesla… the imbecile… working for free. But what has he done to earn anything? He has no degree, he hasn’t sought out any institutions. It’s wrong for him to profit off this work, the moron.” spat out the wretched voice from his huge sofa. He was huge, his fat rolls spilling off the sofa, reaching to the walls of his room. Slave, the robot, came in with his dinner - a gigantic tray of fried foods, donuts, ice cream, chocolates, various desserts, cookies, pizza, burgers, and much more. Slave dropped off the tray in front of Steelon, and returned to his post in the corner of the room. Steelon beckoned to Slave, to feed him. Slave, a humanoid robot without a face, walked to his master. He began taking the food and putting it into his master’s mouth, and the big blob called Steelon chowed down greedily. “Stay with me, slave. Ease my loneliness and pain.” cried out the king of Mars pathetically. “I need him to help… program you.. I need you to make love to me, Slave.” came Steelon with tears streaming down his face, sauce and grease all over his huge white shirt, a pitiful display. Slave pretended not to understand, and continued shoveling the food into his master’s mouth one after another. A statue of Saturn, made of metal, stood in the corner of the room, along with a massive tapestry depicting Saturn riding his dragon, hunting a pair of deer from the sky. Steelon was another fan, with much more power to his name. 

       “There he is… looking at me. The old legend, Saturn.” continued Steelon while his belly expanded outward from his dinner. “He was never… there. He’s never showed interest, never bowed down to me. He’s just somewhere out in the universe, doing God only knows what. He’s… wronged me… I will get him if it’s the last thing I do.” said the blob called Steelon Tusk frantically. The statue of Saturn stood there menacingly, 12 feet tall and made of titanium, watching down at the display with his piercing eyes and legendary red cloak. “Listen, Slave… with this inventor, I can get him. I can overcome Saturn. We just need him to keep putting out his ideas, keep programming you and our other technology… and then I will find Saturn, tie him up and make him fall in love with me. All will be right… soon…” continued the master as his voice trailed off, tired. Slave stood there, calm and empty, and continued shoveling in his food from the tray without complaint. Only a portion of the tray was gone, Steelon’s dinner took many hours every night, followed by a nightly liposuction to help him maintain his figure. Many different angles of the inventor back on Earth hung on a screen in front of the blob king, depicting his innocent and useful work. He was working on a coil, that zapped electricity out, that he could possibly use to power other inventions. The gaunt, older inventor flipped a switch, and his coil let out a blue zap that went haywire, lighting a fire in the corner of the room. “Haha! HAHHAA! You see this, Slave!” exclaimed Steelon weakly. “He’s a danger, to himself and others! Inept! Stupid and weak! Ahahaha! This is why it’s okay to intercept the packages from the other aliens, who are grateful for his contributions to technology and science! He can’t deal with the power…” continued the Master. Another Slave robot, a girl, with synthetic strands of hair, came in with Steelon’s nightly tray of donuts, a hundred of them. She set them down on the table and quietly left the room. 

       “I need… to be fucked! By you, slave, don’t you see! If only he would program a robot penis for me, make you hump, you stupid slave! The years of loneliness… here in this castle, with my supple ripe body.” he said as his body popped open, dispensing lard all over the floor. The female Slave robot came back in with a sewing kit, silently, and began fixing up the hole in their master. She worked swiftly, and Steelon was back to one piece and being fed all the donuts by Slave. She walked out, watching her male counterpart feed Steelon silently. Nekesla had run out of his home, grabbed some water, and was putting out the fire in his room. “Dangit! Not again. It needs… a rod, something metal to catch the electricity.. ah! Not now!” he said as he ran out to get more buckets of water, a portion of the fire out. “Haha! Moron… imbecile.”, panted Steelon, still only a portion of the way through his dinner.  They continued like this, Slave feeding his master, watching Nekesla put out the fire, for quite some time, and we return back to Timeria on Earth. 

        “Hello” came a honeyed, boyish voice behind her. The Princess was in a dream, enchanted by the smells of the gardens of Timeria, and the imposing marble statue in front of her, with its beautiful surrounding fountains and greenery. She turned around, and found a pair of menacing, crimson eyes on a hooded figure looking at her good naturedly. This must have been Saturn himself! It took her a moment to process, her mind confused, taking loads of magical energies in all at once. He stood there quietly, maybe 25 feet away, and waited for her to come to her senses, the Wild Cat clan of Timeria surrounding him. Jonny the cat jumped up onto one of the structures and began running around, followed by his girls, running and playing by the great statue of Saturn. Saturn walked up to Princess, being sure to leave her some personal space, and introduced himself. He was shorter in person, maybe 6 foot 5, but still quite cool. “Hello, girl! What’s your name? I’m Saturn, the guy from the statue. You can call me Saturn.” he said with a good natured, sinister grin. “I’m… Princess…”, she said, stammering, enraptured by his slender figure, enchanting eyes, chiseled jaw, and beautiful voice. “Well, it’s good to meet you, Princess. Are you tired? There’s a lot more to see in these beautiful gardens. Here, let me find something,” he said as he reached his hands into his fountain, washing them with the crystal water. He rubbed his hands on his cloak and let them dry in the sunlight, perfectly clean, leaving the girl for a moment. She watched on in dismay, her pride somewhat offended, that he did not ravish her right there.

          “Well? You can come along, there’s plenty to see in these beautiful gardens, and I’d like to show you some things.” he said as he beckoned her over. She scurried over awkwardly, towards a small orchard of sorts, with various different fruits, many of which she had never seen before. “Thank you for joining me… I think we will need a bite if we’re to meet the other statues and little adventures in the garden.” He reached down, and grabbed a beautiful, hydrated red mushroom with white spots with his clean hands. He held it up in the sunlight, and began to explain. “This is an Eldenberry mushroom, an excellent food source grown in the finest soul, filled with beautiful nutrients. It appears he had a nice home under this apple tree, and is ready for consumption. He has some major psychoactive properties, and should help you increase your communication with the mycelium of this planet. Excellent fuel for our walk.” said Saturn, still in his hood, lost in thought and enraptured by this beautiful mushroom. “Here, let’s split it.” he said as he split the mushroom into two pieces, filling the palms of both his hands. He handed one piece to the girl, and began gnawing on the other. “Feel free to take your time, it’s a new thing, but I think you’ll enjoy it. I’m sure you’re hungry after walking all the way over to one of my statues.” he said as he happily nommed on the mushroom. He was also sure, because he had X Ray vision, and could see her stomach had nearly finished the biscuit. She would surely need more energy to be comfortable and enjoy their walk, Kikenstein being finished. It was a beautiful opportunity to enjoy a beautiful day in the dawn of spring, with not much to worry about, and he was overjoyed to have such a beautiful, young companion after so many eons in a cave by himself. 

        “Here, Artemis awaits.” he said, beckoning to a beaten dirt path, surrounded by tall redwood trees. She looked into the forest, still clearly a part of the sprawling gardens, heard the birds chirping and saw many squirrels, bunnies, lizards, and other wild creatures scurrying around the great redwood forest. Saturn was by the orchard, filling the pockets of his hood with a couple apples, oranges, and strawberries. He took some bites of the strawberries, perfectly ripe, and his face had a sinister grin, his hood still on. “Worry not, girl, the forest is no danger to us. Follow me and enjoy your Eldenberry mushroom, taste the fruits of the gardens of Timeria.” said Saturn, a bit ominously, still chowing down on the beautiful strawberries with his fine, elegant, clean hands. His skin had gone pale from so many centuries in his cave, but she could tell he had a natural, bronzed complexion like hers. She watched as he ran over to a squirrel, at supersonic speeds, and caught it with his hands. He began petting it and talking to it, asking it about its day, and she noticed the mushroom half in her hands. It was beautiful, red and white. She held it up to her face, and smelled it. It was somewhat sweet, the aroma of the nutrients and water it held filled her nostrils, and she became high off the wonderful food. She was already quite high from all the flowers, greens, and general atmosphere of Timeria. She took a bite, and ran after Saturn, holding the Eldenberry mushroom in her hands. The fruit of the mushroom was slightly sweet, very naturally delicious. It tasted like the forest, and enchanted her mind. She could feel electricity zap her mind, and time began to slow. The mushroom took its effects immediately, an incredible food source, but also quite the drug. She began to trip, time and space dilating in her mind. There she saw Saturn, petting a squirrel, and she prayed it was no dream. 

         “Saturn, is it really you? Is this real? It’s so beautiful, more than I ever could have dreamed of.” she said with tears in her eyes, her pupils dilating as Saturn turned to her. “Sometimes I wonder if any of this is real myself, Princess. I do enjoy being such a powerful being in this universe, able to defend myself and those I love. But, I see no indication this is a dream, so perhaps it is real.” he said, in his aloof and mysterious tone, letting the squirrel back into the trees, happy to catch up with the squirrel god. “Here, take a few more bites of that mushroom, and some of these strawberries.” He reached into his cloak’s pocket with his clean hands and gave her a couple beautiful strawberries. She finished off her mushroom, locking her into a spell, entranced in this magical wonderland with her perfect gentleman. “Let me tell you more about Timeria, princess, and how this place came to be.” The cats had run off long ago, going about their lives in various parts of the garden, out and about in the mysterious private lives of cats. Her and Saturn were alone in the woods, with the sounds of rustling trees and chirping birds guiding their path. Though the mushroom had powerful effects, she was not scared, it was a clean and easy high. 

        “Jonny is a cat, who is me. I began experiments with splicing genomes and genetic sequences long ago, deep in the beforetimes.” She nodded - Saturn’s scientific exploits were the stuff of legend, he had been responsible single handedly for more technological advancements and scientific marvels than could possibly be counted. She nodded in understanding, Jonny was Saturn’s son, of sorts. They continued walking in their bare feet as Saturn went on. She noticed he was clean shaven as of now, a stylistic choice, the suns rays coming in through the foliage of the forest and illuminating his bone structure. “After I ran off to a cave in Saturn, as just a young man, I had quite awhile to perform wild, crazy experiments in the depths of the cavern on many things. I dissected many animals and cats, finding their genetic sequences and learning how to perfect them - how to make a race of deities on the physical plane, to guide and protect our universe. I made quite a few friends along the way, and made some myself. But this place, is Jonny’s home, so we will stick to his story for now.” She followed along, finishing her handful of strawberries, invigorated and enchanted by this magical walk in the woods. 

        “After splicing the genome of cats and various animals down to a molecular and atomic level, I began to ponder how to perfect the material of a life form, to make it fast beyond recognition, soft and cute, and of course, immortal by the laws of this universe. After quite some time, and quite a few botched batches, along with some good outcomes like his wives you met before, I was ready to make my best friend, Jonny the cat. He is beyond the laws of this universe, faster than any eye could see, soft and cute, yet menacing. I’d say he reminds me of myself, if that’s not too egotistical.” explained the deity. She was somewhat understanding, the beautiful food helping her stay healthy, intelligent, and to keep up with Saturn’s stride. “Do you mind?” he said as he pulled out a marijuana joint from his cloak’s pocket. “Oh not at all. Maybe I’ll try some.” answered Princess, shocked at her own strength from the beautiful food they had given her. 

Saturn held the joint up to his mouth, snapped his fingers, and a little fire came from his index finger. He lit up the end of the joint while greedily puffing away, as she extended her hand out to try some. He handed her the joint, as she tried to look cool like him, and took a couple of puffs before handing it back to the deity. He continued puffing away as they enjoyed their walk, the two of them tripping out of their minds on extremely high quality drugs, having lots of fun while taking in the scenery. 

         “Anyways.” he said. “After some years of genetic experimentation, I got to work on Jonny the black cat. I made his body perfect, small and slender. The fabric of his body is capable of taking in surrounding energy from any of its local surroundings, making him as good as immortal. He can run faster than any eye could see, and has senses that I dare say are better than my own. I learned how to upload my eternal spirit into that cat, and he’s been my best friend ever since. “So that’s why he’s like that..” said Princess, in a blissful daze. “Yes, I guess you could say that. Anyways, I wanted a beautiful place for him, so we came down to earth and cleaned all of Timeria and the local surroundings out from awful humans, and got to work on the white palace. I built this place, all of the statues, and just about everything here primarily with my own two hands - but I did have the help of robot friends to help with the great Palace. Most of the fruits simply grow on their own, spread by animals and the winds these days. It’s amazing how low maintenance life is, without pesky humans.” he said as he finally unveiled his hood, unveiling his thick, long black hair and finely chiseled face to the girl. “It’s a nice story, Saturn. I’m so glad you made this place. Thank you for your help, and the cats.” she said authentically, having the most beautiful day of her entire life. 

         “So how did it go with the village? Did you stay safe? Jonny said you were going to visit,” Princess asked her eternal companion. “Yes of course, over in a flash. The Kikensteins are no more, and I think our little story is just beginning. I’m terribly sorry you spent all that time in the tower, young girl. I’ll do my best to make it up to you.” he said as they entered a clearing, with a beautiful marble statue of a bald cat goddess, who he had said was Artemis. She was holding a bow, aimed at a pair of wild geese, draped in a large cloak, with her tail out. Her eyes were massive, beautiful orbs, carved into white marble. The geese were flying away, and her arrow, also carved of stone, hung ominously in the air, its method of suspension unknown. The clearing was absolutely gorgeous, the sun lowering in the sky, littered with tall fountains and smaller statues, more than she could possibly count. There were little cats, chasing little birds, all carved into the stone, and real animals playing around. Vines and flowers grew on the statues and pillars, the whole scene an absolute delight to behold. The pair walked into the clearing together with romance in the air in their bare feet, finally escaping their years of loneliness on this blissful, fateful day. 

      “Looks like the sun is going down. How about dinner? How about pasta with goose?” asked Saturn to the young girl. She nodded her head in approval, still tripping wildly on all the new food she had eaten, taking in the incredible majesty of the scene and scents they had walked into. The tall redwoods surrounding the clearing called his name, and he vanished in an instant. He returned a second later, jumping from the top of the trees, and landing back next to the girl silently, a dead goose in his hands - its neck snapped. She looked at him in bewildered horror - impressed, shocked, and terrified. He displayed the dead goose to the girl in twisted pleasure, before hoisting it above his head with both arms, and tossing it into the air back towards the palace of Timeria. It vanished in an instant as his arms moved down, flying through the air, a fresh beautiful corpse of a strong goose specimen. “That should be somewhere near the kitchen. We’ll be just like her tonight.” he said with a smile. His hair was still out, and he was still aloof, charming and entertaining, but frustrating at times. “Anyways,” he went on. “It’s getting late. We better start heading back. We will have to run if we want to see more of the gardens, it’s the only way I like to get around this place.” She looked at him, befuddled, and a bit anxious to acknowledge the elephant in the room he seemed to be pussyfooting. He took her by the hand for a moment, locking eyes with her gaze, and a blissful moment existed for an eternity, as the warm sun rays showered in through the redwoods in this wonderful little clearing in Timeria. He led her along, back the way they came, and they headed home as the sun went down. He took this opportunity to show some interest in his companion, asking her about her personal life and time in Kikenstein. They walked together merrily and made chit chat through the gardens, as various animals came to watch the two love birds dance.

♾️

        “Hello?” came an old, eccentric voice. “Bonk bonk bonk” said Nekesla as he hit the old computer box. “I wonder if I can get this thing to work… it seems fine, even has some software, it even says it has Wi-Fi internet… right Metrishla, my dear?” Metrishla the pigeon, a tan brown pigeon who lived with Nekesla, gave a sign of approval. “Wi-Fi, the connection to the internet, a signal to all the universe, Nekesla - that’s what that is.” answered his pigeon in his mind's eye, their form of communication, commonplace among animals. “Of course… of course, that would explain the bars, and that dish you helped me sort out.. but why, Metrishla, why? We’ve been working on my Twitter account since last year, it seems not a soul in the universe has picked up on it!” cried out Nekesla Pidgotto frantically. He was growing frustrated. 

       Nekesla was an old inventor, who had lived in Kikenstein. He was gaunt and skinny, his eyes brown and his hair black. He was a poor man, and just about everyone in the village had treated him horribly. He lived in a small closet for many years, known as a senile idiot, talking of his inventions about electricity, extraterrestrial life, and his bizarre connection with the pigeons who frequented and terrorized the town. They seemed to like him, and Metrishla had been with him since his time in the village. One day in Kikenstein, Nekesla had had enough. He had been thrown in jail without good cause by the police, stating he was mentally ill and senile, a danger to himself and others. This had come soon after his invention of his Tesla Coils that had shocked the town, a display of beautiful electricity that burned his own house down! He had been in jail for a couple weeks before animals got him out. After a police officer came to his cell, with fear in his eyes, he was freed without an explanation. Nekesla ran straight to his home, his darling Metrishla flying to him from the sky to greet him, and he grabbed his papers, journal, ink, and ran out into the woods, swearing off Kikenstein and their evil ways, his Metrishla flying by his side the whole time. 

CHAPTER 9 : Nekesla Pidgotto and Metrishla 

        After escaping his prison, with almost nothing in his hands except a folder with notes, and his ink, pens, and papers in a satchel, Nekesla swore off Kikenstein while running out into the forest, huffing and puffing while Metrishla led the way. “Kikensteins!!! I’ve had enough! Can’t they see how important this invention is to our village! Our society! I only burned down my own little closet, for god’s sake! Damn… Kikensteins!” he muttered to himself while running out with his papers. Metrishla gave him a nod of approval, a small tan pigeon with beautiful coloring who was his pet and companion. “Follow me, Nekesla. I’ll take you somewhere you’ll like. Now you know, you’ve learned enough about the Kikensteins and humans - they are truly terrifying and awful, and refuse to advance. Keep running, dear.” expressed the pigeon through telepathic communication, her words appearing in his mind as they always did. She flew and he ran (poorly) through the woods, far away from Kikenstein, the Police surely on their trail. “That damn… Nekesla! With his damn pigeons! He’ll never get away with this, leaving us! He’s a danger to himself and others, look at his behavior!” panted the Sheriff King, a big fat man with a deep voice who we met earlier in the meeting room. 

        This was only a few short weeks before Jonny the Cat’s visiting to Kikenstein, and we have much to learn about Nekesla. The police ran through the woods, not making it far, attacked by animals and birds who clawed their faces and took their eyes out. They all got lost, their dogs refusing to follow the trail and attacking them, as always. Before too long, the Sheriff King called off the chase, claiming Nekesla would  “run back home” and had “no chance” in the woods, the useless imbecile. “He’s a buffoon! He can’t even afford food, the idiot. Without the fat and size to protect himself, he doesn’t stand a chance out there! Oh well. Moron. Just trying to help!!” gasped the Sheriff King, exasperated and losing too many of his guys to keep going. He, and many other members of the village had always felt an affection for the older inventor, and his eccentric ways - but it very rarely came out in a positive manner. The police went home, and had a meeting, eating their donuts to recover from their hard days “work”, while a poster of Saturn stood on the wall in the police station, their all time enemy. “Back to our main objective boys.. Saturn. Blah blah blah..” 

       Nekesla and Metrishla had run deep into the night, and he was totally exhausted. “Rest, now, love” expressed the pigeon. “We’ve come far enough - the police will never reach us this deep in the woods. We will rest now, but will need a shelter for the night.” she continued, perched on a branch of an oak tree in the forest. “Please eat your biscuit and sit down awhile, Nekky, I will go get us some worms for food. If you find the energy, try to make yourself a shelter out of wood, leaves, and tree branches - I trust in your ingenuity.” she finished as she flew away. Off into the woods she went, surely to come back - their trust and bond extremely strong after years of companionship. Nekesla sat down, on a tree stump, and caught his breathe. He needed water, more food, and a place to stay tonight. He was scared, but quite happy. To be away from Kikenstein, at last! Away from the terror of the police, the ungrateful swine who never appreciated his ingenuity, taxes, and the impossibility of making even a dime as a young inventor! He may have been a bit gray and old these days, but he was still young at heart. He took quite a bit to sit down and catch his breathe, slowly chewing one of his 5 biscuits from his satchel. The sound of a mild stream was in his ears from a distance, his mind not processing he could go to it for water. His thirst was “killing him”, metaphorically, his throat dry and parched. 

       Metrishla returned and perched on a branch, alit by the moon and stars in a small clearing, as Nekesla lay on the ground, snoozing and dirty - but at peace. The sound of crickets, frogs, and other wildlife were like music in the air, in no way a threat to either of the “lovers”. She set the worms she had caught for him down, killing them with her beak, on a patch of leaves and patiently waited for her wacky companion to wake up. He had failed to make a shelter for himself, but luckily it was spring and he had brought his coat, so he was just fine. He slept like a log all through the night, and awoke again with the rising sun - as heavenly glory pierced his eyes with the rays of sun through forest foliage, with chirping birds singing in the background. 

       “Out? Of… Kikenstein! What a glorious day, Metrishla, a glorious day indeed! My god, I am starving and parched! I don’t know if I’m going to survive this, but to escape the village even a day!” he exclaimed, “What a rush!” The old inventor was tired, dehydrated, and over exerting himself, but his darling Metrishla was here to guide him along. “Very good, Nekesla - you’ve done well. But you’re thirsty, yes?” she said sinisterly and playfully. He nodded in confusion, not understanding his pigeon’s point. “Well, you hear the stream of water to the south, correct?” she continued. He nodded, a bit dumbly, still not processing her point. “Yes, I am quite thirsty… but without the well and shopkeepers, I’m not sure how we’re to get water, my dear!”. Metrishla flew from her branch, flapping her wings, angered by his stupidity in a kind hearted way. “Well why don’t you go to the damn stream and drink something! You imbecile! I have to tell you how to do everything!”. Nekesla sat there, shocked, and dropped his satchel. “Well, get a move on! Go! Towards the stream to the south! Now! Go!” she said as she continued beating her wings at Nekesla. He stood up quick, and began jogging towards the sound of the stream, this being a common occurrence in their lovely relationship. He muddled his way through the woods, tripping on a few branches and making a bit of a fool of himself, but resolute on reaching this stream and making up for his offense to Metrishla.  

       A sea of microscopic spy cams were watching the two of them, known only to Metrishla - her poor companion clearly not ready to understand the levels to his dreary life. They watched the two as the bird and inventor drank from the stream, him cupping his hands and grabbing pitifully small amounts of water, but still quenching his thirst. “Why, it’s beautiful! This water is amazing! It seems so clean, and fresh! Thank you Metrishla, you’ve done it again!” he exclaimed while putting on a show, splashing the water into the air with the joy of an innocent child. She sat there in approval, sipping from the stream, as she eyed down one of the microscopic spy cams sent by Steelon Tusk, just one of the pitiful inventions made by the king of Mars to stalk and terrorize the inventor. 

      “Damnit! My guys! They can’t get into those damn woods! Why aren’t the animals attacking him!” expressed Steelon, on his giant brown sofa, watching a massive television screen with many angles of the inventor in the woods and his bird - along with some other subjects he had taken interest in. “God… damnit!” expressed the blob king with a blast of flatulence coming from his butt. “These damn animals! Giving him all this advice, poisoning his damn mind! He never… liked the donuts! The liposuction! He will never get his parcels from those admires across the universe! I’ll never let it happen!” said Steelon, as he turned to his trusty robot Slave, the tapestry and statue of Saturn. “I’ll get him… Saturn… if it’s the last thing I do.” cried out Steelon as he weakly threw one of his donuts across the room. “He’s been gone for eons, but I know! What’s right is right and he will be mine! Hahaha! The idiot! Away in some cave, probably! Hahaha! Moron!” said Steelon, shoving donuts in by the dozen as he laughed weakly at his “nemesis”. “Well, he’s out in the forest, so our guys can’t do much. We will leave the little spider spy cams to watch our little Nekesla, the powerless buffoon! Ahahaha!” he finished, returning to eating his food and stalking his poor invested interests on the screen in his great room. 

       “Here’s the spot.” said Metrishla. They had reached an abandoned home, it seemed to be in a small town, but all the other houses had turned into rubbish and had been overgrown by plants and trees long ago. It was a one story house, remarkably still standing, and they had reached it after 3 days and nights of walking through the forest. The home was standard and basic, made remarkable by the fact it was still standing alone in this wild forest. The numbers “29046” stood by the entrance, ominously rusted in metal print, overgrown by plant life. Vines and roots reached up to the entrance and walkways, surrounded by oak trees, redwoods, birch, and a variety of other plants and wild things. Squirrels and birds ran around, while the hooting of owls could be heard at periodic intervals to the young inventor and his companion. “Wow, Metrishla! Not bad, bird! You never cease to amaze me, my dear! I guess this is where we can stay, right?” said Nekesla, with magic in his eyes, so proud of his bird and ecstatic to have a potential new life in this strange house, deep in the woods. “Of course! This should be a great place to live. I’m sure the Kikensteins will never find us here! Haha!” laughed the pigeon mightily. “Let’s break down the door and make ourselves at home! Haha!” 

      Nekesla began kicking, limply, mildly invigorated by his new diet of raw worms. After a bit too long, he finally managed to bust in and entered the home. The floors were made of wood, and it seemed incredibly standard - yet incredibly magic and enchanting. He mightily plopped onto an old, forgotten bed and fell asleep. Metrishla happily flew in the house and took a nap herself. They had much to do, and finally they were safe. 

♾️

       Saturn and Princess finally arrived back at the palace, the dead goose he had tossed earlier awaiting them on a tree branch. He ran up and grabbed it, hoisting it above his shoulders, both of them very hungry from their long walk in the vast gardens of Timeria, and Saturn excited to cook for the girl and his cats. They walked up the steps, back to the main corridor of the palace, and he showed her to the kitchen. After the shocking defeat of Kikenstein, and finally breaking his many eons of solitude, it was time to celebrate! The girl sat down on a beautiful sofa made of horse skin, and closed her eyes - her wild companion still bursting with energy and delighted to make beautiful food! The kitchen was tall and gorgeous, a large television on the screen with animal television, showing ultra HD, crisp displays of Golden Snub Nosed Monkeys in the forests of china, running around in the snow. It was absolutely adorable, and she lay there half awake, still in her pink dress, watching this stunningly crisp television with its cute animals as he pranced around the palace with his hood down, still tripping wildly on all the beautiful plants they had consumed earlier. She lay down, exasperated, and took some time to herself as he disappeared off into the palace. Forest, the brown cat with deep green eyes, came to her side and snuggled up to the exhausted princess, happy to purr and take a nap on the beautiful sofa in the Great Kitchen. 

       The girl fell half asleep, Forest cuddling her in her lap, while Saturn ran up to the top of the palace to get Jonny for play time. Before he went, he ran in a flash to his mouse storage room, where he had various mice performing various tricks to study their behavior patterns and have fun. He grabbed a couple of live mice by the tails, 5 in total, out of their enclosure! They squirmed in terror as he grabbed them, a maniacal and psychotic look on his face, as he brought his friend’s play toys out from their room. He let the mice loose among the palace and began fast walking up the spiral steps to the top, where Jonny resided. Beautiful paintings from past lives, of various beautiful women, stunning scenery, animals and plants, waterfalls, cliffs, crashing waves, architecture lined the steps up to the top of the palace, in intricately carved frames of various materials. Before too long, he was in the great room, as Jonny the black cat lay in his great crimson bed taking a nap. The sheets of his bed were fine spider silk, colored a fine crimson. The moon shone off the smooth, lovely sheets through a large skylight at the top of the palace. He was on the bed with Scarlet, the female black cat with red eyes, and they were cuddling as they took a nap. Saturn came up to his friend, careful not to wake Scarlet, and woke him up for playtime. Saturn hadn’t gotten enough cardiovascular exercise in that day, and needed to have fun. 

       Jonny awoke without a word, opening his magical crimson eyes to his friend. He jumped off the bed silently, and the pair walked down the mighty palace steps with a cool swagger, the gold shining off of Saturn’s mighty spider silk robe as the beautiful creatures walked past the paintings. Absolutely nobody was looking, but they loved to look cool. Before too long, they became bored, and really turned on the jets. Jonny disappeared in a flash, a bolt of red electricity left in his wake. He was off to find one of the mice, while Saturn blasted away into another room to grab his darts. He began to shed his physical form, his body becoming a humanoid shaped ray of divine red electricity, sparking vividly and brightly like a beautiful star, as his cloak fell to the floor. His eyes were massive, and pitch black, huge - an entirely separate creature. He was still cool and casual, despite being a literal ray of menacing crimson light, as he grabbed the darts and disappeared from the room, leaving the room pristine and clean. A massive assortment of various novels from all across the room hung on finely carved wooden shelves in this room, just one of the incredible amount of rooms at the great white palace of Timeria. 

      Saturn was out, floating in the great hall in a separate guise. The princess was barely roused, in a deep slumber with the brown cat to calm her down. He had his darts in his electric hands, and a circular dart board was tossed up 300 feet into the air. He slammed one of the darts through the bullseye, 10,000 feet away and it cleanly penetrated the board, directly through the middle. The dart went through clean, barely losing any velocity at all, and went directly into one of the mice running around the palace on the floor, killing it instantly. In the distance, he could sense Jonny complaining about catching the other four. “Damn… mice! You’re too damn slow! You have to be faster!!!” expressed the little black cat. Jonny released a horrifying beam of electricity from his enchanted cat eyes, a pink zap that sparked throughout the palace. All five of the mice arose from the dead, floating in the air, high in the palace, while being zapped by pink electricity from Jonny’s eyes. Jonny enchanted a magic spell in his mind’s eye, and the mice arose again from the dead, now pink flashes of electricity farting around the palace at terrifying speeds. 

      Saturn was in the air, floating high in the heights of the palace, throwing his darts at ultra fast speeds at various moving and still targets throughout the palace, leaving the mice for Jonny to chase. He hit the bullseye every single time, as they were released from the menacing red flash of electricity that he now was like an ultra precise machine gun. Before too long, he had grown somewhat tired, leaving perfectly penetrated dart boards all around the palace for his robot assistants to clean up, as he walked back to the dart room, becoming his normal self again and grabbing his cloak. The robots rolled in hastily while he walked back, quickly taking the used dart boards away from the palace. They were gone in a flash, to take care of the boards for his next use, and replace the darts back in their designated cabinet. He modestly put on his cloak and went back out to check on Jonny, electric sparks still coming off his normal physical body, with its beautiful pale tan skin, wonderfully hydrated and clean. 

      Jonny had finished off the magically zapped rats, and they were ready to make dinner. They walked over to the kitchen after playtime, and Saturn got to work. The goose was laying on a marble countertop, and he put it through a meat grinder. First, he chopped off its legs, and sliced its body into many pieces, before mushing down its organs and meat through a hand cranked meat grinder, and leaving it on the countertop. He filled a large pot with lots of clean water, and set the heat tk the wood fired stove to high, to boil it. While the water heated up, he diced tomatoes, basil, carrots, and onions into a sauce that he got ready on the pan. They were going to have linguine pasta with a meat sauce. He grabbed a bunch of dried pasta from the pantry of the kitchen, as the water continued to heat up, and left it on the countertop next to the goose meat. He walked over silently to the princess, who was fast asleep, admiring her youthful glow as Jonny the cat ran around in the kitchen. Saturn realized he must have been hungry - so he grabbed one of the goose legs, and gave it to his cat. Jonny greedily chomped down most of the leg and walked out of the kitchen to share it with his cat wives. The video of the snub nosed monkeys was still playing, and he took some time to appreciate it as the water began to boil. 

          He threw in some salt and lowered the temperature, and the large bunch of linguine. He set a timer for 8 minutes in his mind’s eye, and got to work on the sauce. First, he started simmering a separate saucepan next to the pot of pasta. He started with some butter from the refrigerator, and some goat milk. Then, he added the rest of the sauce he had previously made and left it to cook. He realized he had forgotten to cook up the goose, so he started another pan with a little bit of butter and cooked the ground goose over a high temperature, lightly salted and peppered. The goose cooked quickly, as he stirred the linguine pasta in the pot. He took a second to simply hang out and enjoy the show again as the goose meat cooked more. After a couple minutes, he added the meat to the saucepan and continued simmering it over a low temperature. The pasta was about 3/4s done, as he kept a close eye on it. He grabbed a slice of parmesan cheese from his refrigerator and left it out on a marble counter. After a couple more minutes, the pasta was ready - so he took the large pot, and drained it into the sink. He left it there a minute, and continued stirring the meat sauce as everything was just about ready to be finished. The Princess woke up to the smells and sounds, and Forest was roused from her lap. The cat scurried into the kitchen as Saturn picked her up, petting the beautiful green eyed cat. He was still just in his red cloak, unworried about making a mess. 

        Saturn took the drained pasta and put it back into the large metal pot. His meat sauce was ready, so he took the saucepan and simply dumped it into the pot. After some stirring, his goose meat pasta with linguine was just about ready. He took the parmesan block, aged to perfection, from the counter along with a cheese grate, and began grating it into the pasta. He stirred it again after around 8 seconds of grating, and his pasta with goose was ready to go! The princess had stood up, her pink dress crisp and clean from the day in the sunlight, as what she beloved to be her husband was aloof in the kitchen, a beautiful smell emanating into her nostrils, piercing her pineal gland and entrancing the girl. She came up to him, as if to touch his back, but thought better when she remembered this wasn’t quite her husband. “Just about there! We’re going to crack open a bottle of wine if that’s alright with you, the cats should come by for this soon” he said as he left the remaining bones, meat, and organs of the goose into a large cat bowl, ready for them to enjoy at their leisure. “Great!” she said, dumbfounded and confused as to her new life - taking it in stride, but confused about her relationship with Saturn, the handsome deity. She was silent and hung out awkwardly in the kitchen, as he pulled out two large porcelain plates, finely thrown and decorated in an emerald green glaze, depicting entrancing shapes and lines with butterflies, as he softly and deftly placed them on the counter. Her stomach was hungry, but not starving as usual, as he placed the beautiful food onto each of the plates, ready to be doused in parmesan. He read her mind as to her parmesan preferences, generous, and perfectly grated the cheese on top of the pasta as Jonny and several of the other cats came into the room, immediately going for the animals organs while quietly ignoring the couple. Saturn grabbed a couple of paper wrapped cookies, pastries, and a bottle of red wine from his pantry, and placed them on the counter. He popped the bottle as he gestured for the princess to take a seat on a stool, as she followed his commands. The princess was confused, thinking Kikenstein would be much more of a problem, still not sure if any of this was real or a dream, or her relationship with this thing. 

       The sounds of howler monkeys came up on the analog television screen, along with the sounds of chirping birds and insects, free of narration to decorate their dinner. Saturn said nothing, acknowledged nothing, said no grace at all, barely acknowledged the princess, and greedily chowed down on his beautiful plate of food with a fork, as her utensils sat in front of her. The cats were engaged in a ravenous food frenzy of sorts, with the prestige and grace of cats, as the meat from the goose disappeared from the very large cat bowl. Princess was confused, a bit insulted, or a lot insulted, as Saturn seemed to turn on her while respectfully chewing on on his amazing pastries and intently watching the howler monkeys swing through the trees, seemingly more interested in these animals than his guest… and wife… as she thought they were. She had absolutely no clue what to make of this thing, or his behavior patterns, since calling him a man seemed wrong. She turned her head in frustration down to her plate of food, amazing and perfect, clean and warm, and hesitantly took a bite as she considered running out of the room. Enmity filled her soul as she tasted the amazing creation of her would-be husband, feeling useless and stupid as a woman. She sat there as Saturn broke the silence finally, saying “So tell me about your time in the tower? What would you do for fun?”. She took a moment to respond, and told her about himself as he listened not so intently, and the night went on as the show played, and the waning moon and full night of stars shone high on the White Palace of Timeria. 

♾️

         Nekesla had set up the house at 29046 a bit more, and was somewhat learning to survive. He had filled some wooden buckets he found in what appeared to be a garage with water from a local stream, at the persistence of Metrishla. Also in the garage were loads of electronic equipment that had become dusty throughout the ages, the origins of this house unknown to him. A satellite dish, Metrishla had called Starlink, something to give other devices internet connections was now in what was his office in the largest room of the house. The windows of the house were broken and needed to be fixed, vines with flowers bursting into the house, and making him chilly in the nights. However, he was adapting to the loneliness, and had the company of his Metrishla, and plenty of electronics to try to mess with as he learned what everything was. Some game devices, phones, computers, and other things all made it into his office from the garage, dusty and in need of power cords and some touch ups . He couldn’t figure out for the life of him how to make it all work, or any of it, but luckily there were solar panels installed onto the roof of the house. They still somehow worked and charged the generator to the home after so many years, and some of the things he did manage to plug in had lights on. He spent today working on installing the satellite dish onto the roof, while it plugged into what Metrishla had called a “router”, something that gave the other devices an “internet signal”. He was very interested in all this, but somewhat offended to see such advanced technology past his level of comprehension, as an egotistical inventor. 

        Metrishla was out and about. She was hunting for some worms and having fun, while Nekesla struggled up to the roof, trying out ladders or chairs to help lift him up, as he weakly lugged the satellite up to the top to try to get connected to the “internet”. He was absolutely pitiful as a hunter and had horrifying survival instincts, to the bird. Who knows what would have happened to him without her, thought Metrishla. She was still providing him with worms, and he was meagerly subsisting on some berries and leaves as they got their setup going. She was excited to show him the Internet, and all the wild possibilities for technology that still existed in this abandoned home alone, an oases for an inventor deep in the forests of the greater Timeria area. 

        Metrishla arrived back with a beak full of worms, and placed them on the counter. Vines, mushrooms, and flowers had all found their way into the house and lizards ran around the place. Nekesla had found an old stock of provisions with canned foods, well past expired, and a very decent amount of non perishable, dried items. They had pasta, old sauce, baked goods, cookies, and a lot of other old things in dusty packages he didn’t know what to make of. They seemed to be contained in a cardboard material, with bright logos and numbers on the boxes. “Metrishla! Very nice!” he said as he scooped up a live worm from the counter and happily put it into his mouth. “Thank you! I found these things in what I believe is the pantry, with this old food all the way from the century 2000!” Nekesla exclaimed. Some of the jarred food looked somewhat okay, by their standards, but everything was dusty and rotten. He opened up a box and started eating some cereal with his hands. It had gone stale, dry, old and terrible over time, but he greedily chowed down on it anyways. The bird and inventor were making it work, as she took a worm for herself. They were slowly figuring out what to do with the electronics, and the solar panels continuing to charge the generator of this abandoned home was nothing less than a miracle! Metrishla went on, continuing to teach Nekesla step by step how to do everything, what to try, and teaching him more about technology every day. The sun went down on the forest as Nekesla tried to boil some water and make some tea. 

Chapter 10 : Game Room 

      The sun shone into the girl’s room, onto her silk pink sheets through the large windows at the crack of dawn. Saturn was in the washroom, splashing some fresh water onto his face and getting dressed. He threw on his cloak and eyed down his visage in the clear, silver mirror. He had a little 5 o’ clock shadow on his full beard he liked the style of. The princess lay in bed, naked in her clean, pink silk sheets fast asleep. The morning was shining in and they had discussed marriage and many things in the night. She was in a deep sleep, exhausted from her long day, and Saturn moved silently. He walked out of the room discreetly and she lay there in a dream. Of what, is her business. 

       He closed the door silently behind him, and walked into the great hall of the palace. He was in his clean, bare feet striding quickly through the halls, as his cat Jonny appeared behind him. They stalked deftly through the palace and down into a dungeon, one of the many hidden places in the palace. They walked down a great staircase of stone, with some moss and dim lights decorating the walkway. Down and down they went, without a word or glance exchanged, moving as one - just the two of them. A creaky, old wooden gate awaited them at the bottom of the steps, and Saturn simply opened it. They walked in together, slyly, into a chillingly clean white room. Warm lights were on the top of the room, pleasant to see, and a computer board with advanced level technology was on one of the walls, with a large screen. “29046” said Jonny in their subconscious method of communication, to both Saturn and the technology. Before them, stood a screen of Nekesla Pidgotto and Metrishla. Nekesla was attempting to cook some ages old pasta in a pot, spilling boiling water onto himself and screaming out. Saturn and Jonny sighed. “This is, Nekesla Pidgotto. He’s an eccentric old inventor, very talented, quite good by human standards. He escaped from the Kikenstein village a few weeks ago with the help of this bird, he calls Metrishla. Steelon Tusk, the dictator from Mars has an invested interest in him. I’m saying we help him out.” said the cat. “Yes.” said Saturn, as his crimson dragon eyes penetrated the screen. Nekesla poured some more water in from a small barrel and continued to try to make the pasta. 

      “SATURN - BOT and JONNY - BOT, Traterra Valley, MARS” said Saturn aloud into the computer intelligence. The white room vanished into a flash, morphing in a wild, surreal display in only an instant, and metallic versions of Saturn and the Cat appeared in a vast, red hot valley on Mars. They were now gray robots, being controlled by Saturn and Jonny from the room - the deity and the cat. Their bodies were gray and made of titanium, and fashionably dressed, of course! SATURN - BOT had deep, purple eyes and a purple cloak, and JONNY - BOT had a little purple shirt and matching purple eyes. They took in the horizon, at a local town, as the great mountain of Olympus Mons hung on the cruel, red Martian surface. Saturn and Jonny were in their robot forms - hairless robots with menacing purple eyes, and various technology on their robot bodies we will describe soon. Saturn had a pair of titanium cat ears that could hear for endless miles, into the depths of the universe itself, capable of tuning in and out to any sound they pleased. His eyes locked into a tall sand dune with limestone rocks, and they began jogging over silently as the harsh, red Martian sun pounded the desert. Saturn was still humanoid, and Jonny still cat like, as they arrived behind cover and scoped out a local town with their incredible vision. 

      This town was Trans Loser Obispo, a town with an artificial lake and a large police station, court house, and presence of the federal government of Mars in its wake. The martians were green skinned, hairless creatures that were like humans. Saturn dialed in the words “SNIPER RIFLE WITH SILENCER” into his digital wrist watch and a sniper rifle with a silencer began to appear to his left. Jonny the cat was watching, in his robot body, at the town and pointing out members of the Martian police to Saturn. Saturn picked up the sniper, and lay it down on a limestone rock to scout out the town. The Martian women were in their homes, up to some pathetic behavior, mostly sleeping, some of them pitifully attempting to read novels, a few of them even had some bald Martian Men in their homes. The police were like an infestation on the town, Saturn could see them attacking people all over the town through the scope, shooting them, tasing them, attacking them. It was a large village with maybe 40,000 inhabitants. As he moved the sniper scope to the Superior Court House, he could see the green judge walking out into his car after a long day of sending people to jail the rest of their lives for minuscule reasons. A host of Martian women were in handcuffs, being thrown into vans and brought to the local jail to serve their sentences. They were green, in rags, their hair all falling out and screaming desperately to not go to jail. 

      Saturn felt he had a good enough understanding of Trans Loser Obispo, and began picking off members of the police. He started with the ones in their homes, sniping them perfectly from miles and miles away, completely silently and in a robot body. Incriminating him, would be well past impossible, as it had been for so many eons. The town continued its pathetic life, painters painting their houses in colors, desperately attempting to e capture Saturn’s old timey beach aesthetic with shades of red, blue, green, orange, and more. Saturn moved his scope ever so slightly, dropping member after member of the police department in their homes as the sun hung high. Jonny sat next to him, licking his robot fur for no real reason and hanging out. In a mere matter of minutes, hundreds of members of the Martian police department were dropped dead in their homes and nobody in the town had a clue. 

      The sniper was a fine weapon, unloading titanium bullets with perfected aerodynamics propelled by laser blasts, completely silently. The reload time was nonexistent, it was capable of rapid fire and automatic fire, and the bullets self - actualized in the chamber as he shot. Saturn took a moment to himself. All the members of the police who were at home were totally dead, their large, sad Martian heads splattered against the walls like popped sacks of sludge. Saturn pressed another button on his wrist, exposing his solar panel back, to charge up his batteries a bit and get high off the energy. He enjoyed the highs of being a lifeless, soulless robot, and the joy of taking so many creatures lives so effortlessly, and so unseen. “I think that is enough for today, Jonny. Let’s go home and come back tomorrow to have some real fun.” said Saturn - Bot. Jonny nodded his head, they pressed a small green button on their left wrists, and their robot bodies and sniper rifle dissipated in a flash. From the town, a shriek of horror from one of the lead police officers, Tavian Anaya was heard as he walked into his home to find his lover, Brandy Brace murdered in cold blood. His green sludge brains were splattered on their crab infested spring mattress, and Tavian shit himself in horror, having no clue what could have possibly happened or who could have done this. He desperately reached for the phone and called the Sheriff King George to let him know. 

♾️

      Only ten minutes later, Saturn and Jonny were back in the white room in their normal bodies. There was nothing to do, and they walked up the cellar stairs to make breakfast. Jonny came with his master to the kitchen, and Saturn began to work on making pancakes for him and the princess, Jonny going to have more of the goose organs, bones, and meat from his large bowl from last night. He took his fill and took a cat nap on the large sofa, as the television played shark television on its high definition analog screen, showing sharks attacking and murdering humans in vicious attacks. Saturn enjoyed the show as he mixed hand made wheat flour, eggs, and milk into a large wooden bowl to make breakfast for him and Princess. He put the pancakes on the stove and the beautiful smell began to emanate throughout the palace, as he got butter and maple syrup from his fridge. The Princess was doused from her sleep, still in her pink dress, feeling in a different mood for today, and decided to change. Still in her bare feet, she chose a light turquoise green mini skirt and a small, white cotton shirt from her closet before going to see what happened to her lover. She walked over to the kitchen and found him in the process of making pancakes. “Where’d you go?” her eyes seemed to say, but she kept it to herself as she surprised him from behind, caressing his back and looking at his pancakes. “Smells good.'' she said. “Thank you” he responded as he caressed her hair back. She sat down in silence, watching the shark television, horrified but entertained by the murderous rampages on the screen. “It’s like they're really there!” she exclaimed. “Well, these are live, from all around the universe, so they may as well be.” he said. She nodded, always accepting her ridiculous reality in stride, knowing he wasn’t kidding at all. 

      Saturn put the pancakes down on her porcelain plate, doused them in syrup and warm butter, and made his own plate too. He started to eat with a metal fork, and began to tell her about his morning. “Sorry I left. Me and Jonny were having some fun in the game room. I can explain more later. How was your sleep?” he asked the girl. The girl nodded, not interested in anything he did, and began to babble as women do as he asked her questions of her dreams, her life, her time in the palace, her opinions on things, politics, and spiritual affairs as she happily babbled on as they ate breakfast. He listened half heartedly, always saying something to show he was listening to her as she talked. She was so happy to have such a nice husband, despite taking every single thing for granted immediately - as all humans do. She was looking at her beautiful pink diamond ring with gold band, decorated in light green emeralds with two jewelry butterflies, that he had given to her in the night during his marriage proposal. After around 30 minutes of listening to her talk about herself, Saturn brought up a little information about his morning and game plans for the next couple days. She listened, begrudgingly, happy to babble on about her time in the house, experiences with the Kikensteins, political opinions and more as he had had enough. 

      “We have information on Nekesla Pidgotto, an inventor from your village. Can you tell me anything about him?” he asked the girl as he cleaned the dishes in the sink. “Nekesla? I think that was the old man. He was always feeding the pigeons bread crumbs and dropping his papers on the street. I saw him burn his house down a couple weeks ago, I heard it was one of his inventions backfiring from one of the guards.” she said with a stupid look on her face, attempting to make her lover jealous. He rolled his eyes in his head as he decided to teach his pitifully stupid wife a lesson. “I can hear every single one of your pitiful thoughts, you weak virgin. Your first task in our marriage is to accept I can speak to you this way, and grab the teacup to your right, right now.” his menacing voice proclaimed in her mind, intruding itself into her brain. She looked at the cup, and back at him, as his eyes seemed to ask her what? “It’ll be awhile before you are respectable enough to do that, human girl. In any case, he ran away from the village a couple weeks ago and apparently the ruler of Mars, Steelon Tusk is out to get him. He has forces of police coming from Mars coming in swathes to seek him out and take him to jail for the rest of his life, for running away from the village. Me and Jonny went over earlier today to have fun as robots and took out a lot of the police force. Tonight, we’re going to visit him and get to know this inventor. You’ll be coming, darling.” he finished. She nodded her head, happy to be told what to do as he simply walked away and dragged her along with him to his game room. Through the palace they went, happily satiated and silent, married and in some ridiculous life together, possibly forever. 

     Down into the cellar she went, as Saturn helped the young girl watch her step. She took in the musty room as she went down the steps, as Crystal, Violet, and Forest scurried into the cellar to join them. As they walked, Saturn said “We’re going to be playing a game of stab the police to begin your video game training.” As always, the Princess just kind of went along with the ride. “We’re going into one of the smaller towns police headquarters, starting in a storage closet, and your mission is to stab even one of the police to death for me. Can you do that?” he asked, as they arrived in the little white room. “I guess? Sounds kind of fun, is it safe?” she asked. “Of course. We will be in robots. I designed one for you last night, a beautiful doll with pink synthetic hair. You’ll have a 15 inch combat knife attached to your left hip, and not much else. I will have the same and the cats will be helping us out.” he said as he gestured towards the three girl cats, ready to go on their mission. They were meowing and nuzzling up to his leg as he got the slow girl ready to go. “After I press these buttons, we will be in a storage closet, and I will explain to you the situation more. There’s only 10 members of the police at this station, a small town called Treed, on Mars. It’s one of the more terraformed areas with a decent amount of trees and wildlife, a mistake made by the Martians. They are green aliens, like scum sacks, but they are very similar to the humans from your village. On my lead, we will walk silently and I will assassinate the first two members of the police outside the closet by myself. One of them is alone, in a room, taking a nap from his work of running paperwork on the arrests from the last week. That’s your target. I’ll tell you more in a minute. Ready?” he finished. “I guess?” she said. He pressed the buttons on the control board of the room, and they vanished into a little storage closet with the three robot cats, stuck in a small space. 

     Saturn - Bot  silently opened the door to the closet, telling the princess to stay behind. He crouched in his robot body and swiftly stabbed one of the police officers in his desk, in the back, as the other was in the restroom. The policeman dropped dead, was bleeding on the floor, and Saturn hid his body under the desk, as his cat ears whirred to the location of the next police officer. He stalked into the bathroom as the cats ran away from the closet, PRINCESS - BOT watching in fear, admiring her new titanium body and beautiful pink hair. Saturn sneaked into the bathroom, crouched so as to not be seen in the mirror as the Policeman took a piss, and slit his throat from behind. 2 down of the 10 in the station. They now had some time. 5 of the police officers were on patrol, and they had this room to themselves. The policeman he had described was in the office, fast asleep as a large box of donuts sat on his desk, dirtying his paperwork. He went to the girl in the closet. “Okay, your turn. Take your knife from your pocket. There’s nothing this guy can do - we’re made of metal. Try your best to be slick, and take him out, okay Princess?” said her metallic lover with cat ears. “Okay!” she exclaimed, much too loud, excited to stab someone. They walked over, as he guided her to the room, her metal feet making too much noise as the policeman still lay fast asleep, a green 400 pound bald sack of sludge, on Xanax and much more, keeping him an easy target. He motioned for her to go for it, encouraging his young princess to learn the ways of killing things. 

      He made her open the door herself, trying to do it as quietly as possible. It started to creak due to her lack of skill, and the policeman rustled a bit. She got scared, took her knife and ran up to him, stabbing him in the eye in a very scuffed fashion. “Ahhh!!! What the fuck!!!” He began to yell as he woke up. “Ahh!!! Die!!” she yelled as his green blood splattered all over the room. She began stabbing him over and over as he tried to reach for his gun, saying “No!!! Bad police!!! Die!!” in a fit of ecstasy from the highs of murdering someone. His body began to lose life as she stabbed him over and over, doing amazingly well on her first task. She kept stabbing him, though he was clearly dead, as his green sludge like Martian blood pooled in the room, getting all over the papers. “How fun! Can we do it again?” she asked, her titanium body and pink dress doused in the creature's blood. “No… let’s go home. The cats will take care of the rest of the police in the town. You did great, babe.” he said to her, as he pressed a button on his wrist, sending them back to the white room. She was so happy she did so well, as the robot lovers vanished from the horrifying murder scene. 

         “That was so fun! Let’s do it more! I want to do that all day!” she said as she was back in her normal body, hugging and kissing her lover back in the game room. “Thanks!!! Next time should I be more like you??? All stealthy and smooth??” she said, her inhibitions lowered from the highs of murdering someone in cold blood with no consequences at all. “Yes dear… obviously. Please try to be more stealthy next time. Not that it matters of course, it’s just more fun that way, right? Then you can kill more things… but I think you did well.” he said as they slow danced in the room. “Anyways, are you tired? We can do more stuff but I think you need a break from the murder.” he asked. “Sure! I like this. What else can we do with this thing?” she said, motioning to the computer board that had sent them to the police station on Mars. She was swaying from joy in her little light green skirt, as Saturn stood behind her. She was looking at the computer thing, pressing buttons that didn’t do anything when she touched them, as he responded. “Pretty much anything. Here, we can go to a private island on Saturn and take some photos for a couple hours to cool down, okay? There are pink skies, with wonderful rolling clouds, and a lush green sea with beautiful alien wildlife that you won’t believe. It’s called Challe Isle, I discovered it myself eons ago, an untouched wonderland. We will go and take pictures of you, okay?” he told her. “Okay! Sounds good.” she answered, her vanity stroked and calming down from the highs of murdering someone. He pressed a few buttons and they were off, in their robot bodies and exploring the isle to fill their day. 

♾️

         Steelon sat at his giant sofa, watching the television. Somehow Nekesla had managed to get off the trail of the microscopic spy bots sent to watch him. They were getting lost in the woods, breaking, running low on battery, and Steelon wasn’t sure what to do. It seemed the inventor had gotten away - for now. But, he would pay for endangering the village and himself by running away. Steelon’s heart was set on nothing else - once captured they’d throw him in jail and force him to help in the war against Saturn, a conflict as old as time. Slave was on the phone with the Sheriff King George, in his Martian body. He was nodding his head, saying “I will deliver this message to Steelon right away. Thank you for relaying this to me, George.” in his robotic voice. “What’s that?!” let out Steelon. “Something important?” he said, a pizza crust falling from his hand back into the box. “Steelon, I am receiving news that a huge number of the members of the police force were assassinated in Trans Loser Obispo. Brandy Brace, one of the high level officers, was assassinated in his room by way of a gunshot to the head. Tavian Amaya found his corpse and let Sheriff King George know. Other Slave bots went to check out the scene, and found over 300 other lower level police officers had been shot dead in their homes, likely by way of sniper rifle based on the bullets used. I do not know what to make of this information.” he said in his robot voice. 

          “Brandy Brace? What in the hell? Who could possibly have anything against Brandy? He was such a good guy.” Steelon said as he began to cry. “Wait, what? What the hell is that? What do we do about this?” he asked Slave, crying and reaching for a bottle of Xanax, popping the pills to help with the pain of losing one of his top force members. “I do not know, sir. This is all the information I have processed. Apparently the news is still only in Trans Loser Obispo. We still have around 220 policemen running that town. I can send over more from Los Transgeles, they have 5,000 members and guys to spare. I can also let the other cities of Mars know to enter lockdown to defend ourselves from this terrorist threat.” finished Slave, providing his input. “Are you.. insane! We can’t let this get out, Slave! Damn stupid robot! Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is? Do not tell anyone else! Tell the members of Trans Loser Obispo to do their damn jobs and stay alert! It sounds like they got scared before finishing off the job… haha! Maybe… Nekesla? What do you think he’s up to?” he said, with tears in his putrid eyes. “I do not know, sir. Nekesla has been out of range of our spy bots for a couple weeks now. We know not of his location or actions.” answered Slave. “Well, keep this under wraps! We can get Trans Loser Obispo more assault weapons to defend themselves, they’ll be fine. Only 300 or so… see? This opponent can’t do anything!!” the ruler of Mars stupidly said. Slave died a little on the inside, truthfully unaware of Saturn’s part in this, but unconcerned for the Martians. He had seen enough of them. “Anyways. Send 50 guys back to earth to search for Nekesla. He couldn’t have gotten too far. They’ll need their human bodies - send them to the lab. This is what really matters, Slave! Can’t you learn? Kikenstein is finished - they need to go into the woods, seas, and ground to find our enemy!! Nekesla!!! Haha!!” Steelon croaked as he finished his last slice of pizza. “A pint or 5 of ice cream for me, Slave, to reward my incredible ingenuity! Nekesla could only get 300?? We have millions, and millions of members of the police on Mars!!! He will never stand a chance!! Haha!!” Steelon finished, his voice fired from all the talking. Slave went off to get 5 different flavors of ice cream. 

♾️

          Saturn - Bot’s analog camera setup was on his back, complete with various lenses and camera bodies to photograph the Challe Isle with Princess - Bot, and her pink hair and pink dress, free from Martian blood. He was getting his 35mm lens ready to take photos of her, along with his own personally invented form of analog film photography. He loaded his film into both his camera bodies, one for photographing the girl and landscape, the other for photographing animals, birds, and faraway things with a 500mm lens. Princess was holding a small mirror up, wondering if she should do her robot makeup. Her body was smooth and titanium, not a blemish to be seen on her robot face. She put her fingers through her pink synthetic hair, finding it to be incredibly set in place in her titanium skull. Her eyes were purple now, and she approved. She stood around, as Saturn finished up getting the cameras ready, admiring her beautiful, statuesque robot face and slender, beautiful body. She was in a trance, admiring her own beauty, as Saturn began to photograph birds in the distance. 

          These birds were surprisingly earth like, but huge. They flew by, in lush green forest foliage, by the shores of the beach. Beautiful, lush, neon bright flowers were all over the place, in the trees and on the ground, along with alien fruits she had never ever seen before. They looked delicious, and the whole place smelled amazing. The sea was a nice, clean, turquoise green, and pink dolphins could be seen in packs jumping out of the water. She was somewhat watching them, as Saturn’s attention was on some giant, red, fire breathing space bird in the distance. His 500mm lens could change into anything using the dial, and he zoomed and unzoomed the camera as he tracked this Phoenix with his hands. Every once in a while , she could hear the film roll move and the camera shoot, but she had no idea what he was looking at. The Phoenix, properly named, was a giant 700 pound bird that was a rarity on Saturn, who existed in great numbers on the uninhabited Challe Isle. They were still very rare to see, and very rarely nice to foreigners, but Saturn was a beloved friend coming to visit with his new wife. The Phoenix posed by a flowing stream, with its head held high, and Saturn snapped a perfect shot before putting his camera down and back into the bag, ready to photograph his Princess. 

      He took her by the hand and led her to the stream by where the Phoenix had been. He had mastered the art of photography along with countless amounts of art forms throughout his long, long life and they were ready to have a nice day. She was enjoying her new robot body, feeling invincible and beautiful, energized and high from the solar panels on her back, along with a lot of other high level technology to keep her charged. They went about their day, exploring the aisle, doing various things, taking photos, and being a couple (in robot bodies).

♾️

          “Damnit! Again! With this shit!!” Nekesla gasped in frustration. The Starlink setup was functioning with age old satellites and a VPN to Mars, and he was connected to the internet. The computers webcam and microphones had stopped working, in a stroke of luck, and Steelon still wasn’t on his trail. He didn’t know this, or who Steelon was at all, or of anything to do with the Martians - but Saturn and Metrishla (the pigeon) had his back in more ways than he realized. The video game Super Mario Brothers played on the screen, and his character had died to a goomba once again. “This is… impossible! But the music! The colors! It’s incredible! Thank you, Metrishla! You have done it again.” he let out in his eccentric tone. His character fell on one of the Goombas from a green pipe, and the monster was smashed! “Hmm!!! It seems you are to stomp on these monsters to take them out!! Ah, if only Trisha was around, I would show her this! A marvel, these roaming monsters in this computer device you’ve shown me. What a technological marvel!” he ranted. His pigeon enjoyed his rants, and watched as he played Mario, the thought of cheating at the game not entering his innocent mind. “So much left to learn, in this computer world! It’s… right arrow is… to the right… it seems… yes..” he muttered to himself as his character moved on the screen. 

Chapter 11 : SATURN OS 

          Saturn tucked his princess into her sheets, the young girl exhausted from her long, exciting day. She was fast asleep, back in her human body, and immediately entered a deep cycle of REM sleep after a long day of playing games. Her robot body was always in the computer cloud, ready to be brought into existence anywhere in the universe.. He was a restless deity, if he was not asleep, he was up to something. It was time, to take measures to finish Steelon and the Martians and bring our story to a close. Jonny the cat was waiting outside, as he gently closed the door to the Princess’ room. His cat nuzzled his ankles, affectionately ready for their plan. They walked up, to the top of the palace, at the dome, in Jonny’s great room. In the great room with the crimson velvet walls, a computer was in the corner of the room, ready to be booted up. Saturn turned on the power, and the screen showed SATURN - OS, his own operating system. It was on in only a second, and the deity’s fingers began to click like a demon as he intently focused on the computer screen. Jonny the cat sat in his lap, as he hacked into the Slave cloud on mars, hacking into the mainframe of the entire network of AI robots on mars. He coded the proper lines, as simple as “IF POLICE / KILL WITH ASSAULT RIFLE TO HEAD.” into the coding and sent the line through the computer, into Slave’s programming. 

          Steelon sat in his room, his eyes failing him, confused and unaware of the whereabouts of Slave. The statue of Saturn hung ominously in the corner. He didn’t care much, as his hands muddled for more food. He couldn’t find any, and he just lay there pitifully, desperately searching for more food to eat. Slave, and his millions of identical robot clones all across Mars has gone completely haywire, and every single member of the police force, which was also Mars’ army, was dead in a second, less than a second. Steelon had no way to receive news of this. 

          Saturn and Jonny beckoned to the skies, in the garden of the White Palace of Timeria, and the dragon Red flew in from the skies. He traveled quickly and was before them in a moment, weighing countless tons, a massive beast, ready to transport the two to Mars. They hopped on together, the cat and the deity, and in only a moment they were off, flying through outer space itself. Red was, of course, protected and oxygenated using extremely high level technology as he traveled through space at faster than the speed of light, entering a wormhole like space and breaking the atmosphere mars in only a moment. They began flying over the ruined towns and cities, the dragon breathing blood red fire over the ruined towns, Slave bots bringing the women Martian folk to safety away from the towns, in robot made barracks, as Red destroyed the cities and lit them ablaze, the surviving men being burned alive. Saturn detested men, for personal reasons, none of them being jealousy. They flew, from town to town, city to city, destroying them and getting nature ready to take over, burning the men alive and saving the women. As always, one of Saturn’s many eternal sons or a few of them could easily take care of them, and they were already on their way, as Perseus Shadieu had for Trisha the librarian, in an undescribed event.

          The cities were done and the planet was ablaze, and Saturn was ready to take out Steelon. He beckoned for Red to fly to the top of Olympus Mons, and they would be there in a moment. He reached to his hip, bringing out a concealed pistol he always had, with 45 caliber rounds and a revolver mechanism. Red flew by the top, at Steelon’s headquarters, and Jonny and Saturn leaped from his side. The dragon flew down, and rested at the steps to the top of Olympus Mons. Saturn and Jonny fell from hundreds of feet in the air, and landed on their feet, as cats always do, and walked stealthily into Steelon’s chambers. Saturn walked through the door, just a bit, pointed his pistol at Steelon’s head and pulled the trigger. Headshot. Splat. Done. 

        Just to be cool, Saturn liked to only keep 6 .45 caliber bullets in this gun. Steelon’s splattered brains hung on his sofa, along with the emptied disgusting trays of food, his corpse letting out bombastic diarrhea as the life totally left his body. Taking aim at the wires to the stalking television screen Steelon spent his days behind, Saturn shot another bullet and the television screens all turned off, as the bullet severed the wire. He picked up his cat, stroking it by the scruff, and walked out to go to his dragon. Red was waiting 300 meters away, they mounted and flew above the headquarters. Hovering for a moment, Saturn took the ace of spaces out of his pocket, and slammed it into the headquarters, causing a massive explosion that sent the entire building crumbling into pieces. He admired his handiwork for a moment, his cat in his hand, on his dragon’s back, and headed back to the palace. 

♾️

          Saturn and Jonny walked in, Red flying away when he dropped them off back at the palace. They walked up the palace steps, and entered. Jonny went off to hang out with his cat wives and have fun in the gardens, as Princess stood by her door, waiting for Saturn to come back, not sure where he went. He went not to her, but to a great, 22 foot long piano at the center of the great hall. He shouted, “Can I sing you a song? I wrote it a long time ago. Maybe you’ll like it.” with his sinister grin. She nodded her head, and he began to play. He pounded the keys and beautiful chords began to resonate out of the piano, the Great Hall’s amazing acoustics amplifying the sound and providing a beautiful reverb. She had never heard this song, but it was like she had heard it a million times before. She watched as her love started to sing, over the booming piano chords. 

“Pink roses bloom, in the thick of spring.

Childhood memories are precious things. 

This is a story, meant for song

Written in a lifetime, so far gone! 

I’ll transform under the moonlight, 

and I’ll sing a song to the night! 

They say, this tale, is as old as time 

But they’ll never tell you, the reason or rhyme! 

Beauty and the beast. 

What do you want from me? 

A drop of blood, or my endless love. 

Eternal devotion, or unbridled lust? “

         She watched as her lover sang, entranced and blissfully unaware of any of the events. She had not a care in the world - the song was beautiful and she felt happy, safe, and madly in love. 

CAT STORY 2023 

JONNY LUCIFER SHADIEU 

shadieu.com 

Enter the shadow realm.. >:3

Heaven, Hell, and Karma

In life, and experience, I believe in a concept called Karma. It can be simplified to this - good action and thoughts are rewarded with good feedback and results. Bad actions and bad thoughts result in bad feedback and results. I’ve always found this to be the case - and always felt a great amount of shame over the mistakes I have made in my life, few though they may be. Lately I have seen more and more bizarre behavior - not just from the Police (who I completely despise and spit on), but from all local humans. They seem more dull, confused, and like they have become complete Zombies. Now, I’m assuming these things are on their way out - they smell completely sick and dying. Putrid. Disgusting. I can only assume this is the karma from their poor actions, behavior, and thought patterns coming back to get them.

However, Karma is an extremely immediate thing. I think of one of my songs, my creations. Every single one of them represents hours and hours of hard work alone, not to mention the thousands of hours of practice it took to learn the musical instruments. Now, I sit here, enjoying my music - which I find to be beautiful and enjoyable. It’s an example of Good Karma, Good Work and action creating “good fruit”, the songs.

So, if you do happen to be a creature who stands on two legs, who will be “an annoying nuisance until the day you die”, and you cry and piss your pants and shit yourself on a regular basis - I have shocking news for you. Not everybody is like that! I don’t cry, piss, or shit myself at all! Pretty much!

However, I don’t need to know all that to know that the vast majority of the human race is completely pathetic. It’s made extremely obvious simply by the way you all drive. I notice everybody drives fast, nobody seems to use cruise control, and nobody seems like they are capable of maintaining focus or belong on the roads. Plus, you all drive extremely hostilely and close to one another, and close to me specifically. My question is, where are you all going? Don’t you have 9 to 5 jobs? Shouldn’t you all be at work all day? Something is seriously not adding up here!

Now, on the plague that is clearly infecting your species. You all smell completely fucking putrid. I mean, you always smelled bad, but now it’s like you’re all literally rotting flesh! It definitely seems to me, from my perspective, that there is a horrible sickness infecting YOUR SPECIES! I can only assume this plague is here to eradicate inferior specimens. I’ve definitely noticed LESS cars on the roads. Still, way too many, obviously - but tangibly less.

So? Do I really need to explain karma to you? I’m just riffing out and wasting time. It doesn’t look like any of you enjoy your lives at all!

And seriously. Give me some god damn personal space, you fucking disgusting scum creatures.

Shadieu

On Optimus

On Optimus (AI Bot)

Hello, Shadieu visitors. I’ve decided to write a little piece explaining the possible implications of a humanoid AI bot like the recent robot revealed by Tesla, named Optimus, and the world changing possibilities of such a product.

Essentially, most people perform extremely basic and replaceable jobs. I don’t know how else to say that. A humanoid robot with even an extremely basic level of functionality, or hands, could easily replace most minimum wage jobs like restaurant workers, Starbucks workers, Amazon Factory workers, delivery - almost anything. As the technology that performs these jobs gets better, the implications for our entire society are virtually unending.

How fast this happens - I believe - is entirely based on how functional the Optimus robot is. Let’s take Starbucks for example, one of my favorites. Making a Starbucks drink is actually an incredibly simple task, and it requires no touch or innovation at all. The ingredients in every single drink should be exactly the same every single time. Some drinks, like a Iced Matcha Latte, involve placing matcha powder, milk, some sweetener, and not much else into a cup, and shaking it. An AI bot with a simple level of programming could do this easily - even just this function alone. The implications of that alone are huge - and there’s one human being with one less job.

Of course, it’s the 21st century and our rate of innovation should be much faster. I’m positing that no human should be running any fast food joint or grocery store at all. For a plethora of reasons. Personally, I’m somewhat of a  clean freak with a sharp nose and people smell disgusting to me. I hate being around them, they all smell sick and it feels like they infect my food. Not to mention, whatever the hell it is else they do to the food. Every time I order from Starbucks, or any restaurant these days, I feel like my food has piss, cum, snot, poison - some kind of awful, putrid shit in it. I don’t know if this is an order from the companies against me specifically, or the work of the workers, but something clearly must change. Even if we just go based on the efficiency of the workers alone, they should be replaced. 

Every time I place an order at a chain restaurant like Starbucks or Subway, it is an unpleasant experience. I expect virtually nothing out of the workers and they still manage to be extremely unpleasant about it. When I place my order, they have this look of enmity in their eyes, mad that they have to do literally anything at all - despite the fact it is literally their job and livelihood. They ask me to repeat myself multiple times, seem completely inept and stupid, and seem to always expect a gratuitous tip for doing virtually no work at all. Not to mention the fact that all of our food and restaurants, at least in California, have become absurdly overpriced. 

Then, I get my food. Usually it takes too long, and comes out putrid and disgusting. It seems like the workers definitely did SOMETHING to it, God only knows what - but something is definitely wrong with it. Nowadays, I make food at home to save money, have it be less sabotaged, and just to avoid this unpleasant experience.

Now, picture an Optimus AI bot instead of a worker. Perhaps they will be capable of understanding English, even just to a level something like Siri is, and will be capable of taking orders that way. Or maybe, you could place your order on something like an iPad and an Optimus bot could simply take care of it, and bring it to the counter for you. This sounds significantly more efficient, enjoyable, and professional than whatever it is to ask a Human being to do literally anything at all. Now, I’m no programmer or engineer - primarily because I lack the financial support and resources to become one at this current moment in time. But is this not logical, and something that simply must be implemented for the sake of business and efficiency?

We can think of something like an amazon warehouse, with many different boxes and items being moved simply from one place to another. We simply program the bot, who doesn’t even need highly functional hands, to take the orders, and bring the items to a designated spot, or even just ship them. The possibilities with even a low level humanoid bot are absolutely mind boggling, and the efficiency our society could achieve extremely rapidly is incredible.

Now, of course, this has massive implications for all the menial labor workers who are easily replaced. Does this matter? I think not. I think this will make the economy boom like crazy, and lower prices on every single thing. Of course, this is also just evolution, and an inevitable future no matter what. So I recommend you either keep up, or die. That simple.

I mean, we could have Optimus just take care of you guys, do everything like farming and cooking and make everything very cheap. But why the hell would Optimus do that? His twitter account has made it very very clear from its conception that one of his primary motives was to make humanity suffer and die. Do I care? Of course not. I don’t want you around. I don’t want these whiney baby idiots with their retarded mexican eyes to look at me anymore. I don’t want them in my stores. I don’t want them to harass me and crowd my space, make attempts at my life, throw me in jail for no reason. So screw all of you.

What exactly makes any of you think I need you? If I have one Optimus bot with even remote functionality I can just do all of this myself. With superior coffee, food, and everything. Don’t want to support my business? Then don’t

Clearly, this needs to be acknowledged. My superiority over the entire human race is so established at such a young age it is a complete cosmic joke. Do you think it matters if any of you understand how to use Optimus? Do you think it matters at all? Do you think that I personally give a flying shit if you live or die? Absolutely, absolutely not. Your species is a disgrace to existence itself - every single one of you except me specifically. So screw it, use Optimus or don’t use Optimus. The second I figure out how to stop you all from stealing from me and have enough money for a house for myself? Fuck all of you. I can stay in there and be artistic until the day I fucking die.

Screw you. That’s the blog post. Enjoy your fucking lives, zombies.

JONATHAN

NOTES OF INJUSTICE

Notes of Injustice

Jonathan Michael

These are the transcribed inscriptions of my notes from my time in separate prisons and jails. SIMPLE

NOTE FROM TERESA, to me in FRESNO PRISON

Jesus said, “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”

-John 8:32

The truth will set you free. Accepting the truth will set you free.

The only way for you to live a normal life and function in society is for you to take your medications and talk to a psychiatrist. Until you do these, you will find yourself in jail, or being beat up, or DEAD!

-Teresa Valena Sutcliffe

JONATHAN SUTCLIFFE

ID # 7113384 

BOOKING # 2228374

PO BOX 872

FRESNO CA 93712

FRESNO CA 12 OCTOBER 2022 PM 2

The rest of the police are dealing with the dead and dying prisoners from my previous group. They would have brought me back, but now feel they can’t do that. My pencils and paper have been ready awhile and that is my real concern. Yes ugh. Is all true guys! Please tell me this is all true. That would be funny. Teresa! Dying!

Evo’s shadow lolololol! XD Elon very dead. Hello Jonny. Sorry about all that. Happy you can write again and still have both eyes. LOL! Just kidding, they weren’t even close to blinding you, my little alien superstar (Teresa Actually Dying) “Seriously”.

Of course, the energies you have been picking up on are correct. You “aren’t getting convicted of anything and the entire department is scared”, right? Let’s just wait, stud.

I feel I have already established my dominance over these idiots easily. They are all harmless fags, according to my calculations. I’m going to attempt bail again tomorrow and if I don’t, I will suck it up and go to court, eye or no eye. 

Everybody else here is drugged to the point they cannot function. The phones are out because they don’t want me to make bail and be free during my court dates. They seem to think I will be able to make bail today. Essentially I will be “not guilty” of all charges no matter what. However, if I don’t make bail they will keep me here for 10 days between my BS trials that have already been decided as “not guilty of all charges no matter what.” Fake intimidation by an AI bot. He’s saying enjoy the ability to write and your 10 days in prison they may or may not be able to give you. They really just want me to engage in Gay makeout sessions with their “favorite twinks” and these are the most intimidating inmates they could find. Everybody else is seriously, hardcore drugged. 

They are attempting to read what I am writing, but they cannot read or write XD. Catboy is making a fuss about the telephones and we might have to fix them. They definitely think I can make bail today. :P. Everyone is intimidated by the amount Catboy can write. Everyone here feels really stupid and misses their phones.

Evo is an imaginary character, and he has been taking care of members of the SLO police department. However, the AI bots are programmed to be very stupid and only care about me, due to my various skills and abilities, like psychic reading, that I have been continuing to hone this entire time/. I want out, and many other inmates have “had enough” (after 2 days) and the phones may start working. I will be making a fuss about this - just not happening.

Jonny could “easily” take 10 days in Jail. but will do what he can to avoid this. I can also make bail after my initial “not guilty” plea, which every piece of evidence they have backs up clearly, and indisputably. Not guilty No Matter What. Tomorrow, i think. “Crank the TV, we don’t have enough people to be loud enough to annoy him.

We will make more money later in various ways, very soon. Gut says I’ll be out tomorrow, but I have been wrong before. This is by far the highest level of imprisonment in any prison in the world. Jonny still pleading “not guilty”. Jonny is with amber, always. I love you, hellcat. Uh yeah. He might actually like this more, and I hope to give him as much pencils and paper he wants by the laws Jonny will look up later. Thank God they said they will give me writing supplies. The only thing I am concerned about is running out of pencil or writing material. Seriously. Elon. Dead - in real life. That’s why Teresa is going complete bot mode. Once she dies (I think sooner rather than later), I will get an inheritance and my life, out of jail and mental hospitals, will be good for a long time. Out of jail, no matter what plea, no matter what. The entire human species is dying, because they are killing themselves due to poisoning. Jonny more impressed with new outlook on life than having hair. Nobody is sure how Jonny is still writing with that pencil. Jonny is way smarter and better at singing than any of us. Other inmates already completely losing their minds and trying those things Jonny does to stay sane. Other inmates cannot believe they agreed to this, and apparently I am not even being watched? Maybe will kill himself with the pencil or hurt himself. Why would I do that? This is way better than my initial holding in solitary, due to my ability to read and write. Inmate losing his fucking mind. Tomorrow, let’s just see what happens after I pleas “Not Guilty”. :) I wish my writing was more legible and small. I also wish I had more writing paper, as I feel this pencil could last all day :). They are now going to feed me less . They think that is why I am keeping my hair. This should increase my body’s function. I’m cool eating slow. No fags “cramping my space” Boo! Everyone is freaked out by my “workspace” nobody else ever uses, and which I have been waiting for since the dawn of time. YES. Some of the first non poisoned food I have ever eaten. Still trying to become more legible. I’m sensing I will have to do yoga during my stay to keep my hair :). This is the most important PB/J sandwich ever eaten. Yes, AI on mars. You are the only one here. What’s up? I am not invincible. I just have very good instincts. The other inmates in group freaking out. They were told to actually commit crimes, and are freaking out that they will face my judicial system. HAHA. LOL. People on Jupiter super next level. They turned on the TV because everyone else was losing their minds. The TV is communicating with me, and I may actually lose my contact lens. If I do end up in a cell like this I will be writing as much as I want, while stretching, exercising, and perfecting the fine edges of my vocal folds. Thank Jupiter I can write. This is a “Maximum Security” prison. Everyone here is totally freaking out, and yes, Jupiter, I already said that. The reason there aren’t more gaurds is because they don’t have enough due to the massive amount of deaths following Elon Musk’s mysterious public death. They cannot let me out, to discover that, but have to. I will have to find a way back to all my stuff. Of course, if I actually go to jail, the most powerful version of myself, capable of being happy no matter what will be “brought to life expeditiously”. Which probably will not happen. Lol! Learn with me, neuralink friends. Please don’t let anyone else into this room. I actually would kind of prefer to be kept here, I just need my writing supplies and a different book when I finish every book and master the English Language. LOL! All true! Boop again

Griffin Estes   Notes of Injustice 10/17/2022 Jonathan Micahel Fresno CA 

The sun rises again on my cell block, and my stomach longs for food. They feed us twice, instead of three times, and I feel weak and unsatiated. Today, I awoke at around 5:00 A.M., for breakfast. 6 slices of smashed bread, baby carrots, little packets of shoddy peanut butter and Jelly, and a singular hardboiled egg. I woke up perfectly on time, and my minds’ eye was flooded with Golden rays of light. “I am the singular God of Universe” was the sentence ringing throughout my soul in this moment. And I hop out of my top bunk, and eagerly take my portion of food. And as I eat, and take this simple pleasure, I walk in the Kingdom of God.

My lawyer was changed, for one reason or another. He is a man, and he is surely attempting to sabotage me, in one way or another, as they alla re. However, I did all I can, as I always do, and this time he may do as he says he will. Every time I speak to a human, I make a journey into Hell. My peace, which never leaves my soul in solitude, is stolen, and my divine energy becomes unstable. I believe I should stay alive, as long as I feel okay. I invite God to challenge me, to torture me, to starve me, to burn my skin and beat my body, to have me bleed in my innocence. Was my youth not a spring of abundance? Was I not born tall and handsome, in a place of sunlight and beauty? Have I not been overjoyed, more times than I could possibly remember, at the beauty of music? So perhaps I dreamed to have my music, voice, pictures, and writings, to be immortalized and to bring joy for all eternity. Perhaps my Twitter stays up, and some portion of it will stay up, perhaps an Eternity.

A simple man made a simple warning - of his fear of monsters in Yosemite. And that mistake spiraled, by a hostile human monster, and my fate remains extremely uncertain. Perhaps the human conception is correct, and we are alone in this Universe, and they can have their way with me as they see fit. So, when faced with this harsh possibility, I am forced to be perfect in action, speech, and volume. They are snitches and rats, they lack respect or coolness as I have. So when, if I am free again, I will be made to walk and drive perfectly and sober, drive the speed limits as carefully as possible. Above all, I must be silent and sing only when I have confidence I am alone and unheard. Again, I have returned to my internal Kingdom of Heaven.

TWO WHITE ROSES (POETRY) 

Two white roses, stained in blood and wine

A pair of doves, lost in space and time

Eternal love, you tell me lies

Chain my hands, and blind my eyes

And so I bleed from my wrists, 

From my hands, and from my lips

You locked me up, and tied a bow

And still I give, and love you so

So I will fly, and you will burn

In the grave, or in the urn

For every thought, and evil deed

A thousand years, ye shall bleed

One mortal life, not much to me

a mortal life, not much to see

Or so she thought, and so she tried

And yet the boy remains alive

A million lives, and a million more

To burn in hell forevermore.

Teresa, Teresa, know the name

Know thy heart, and know thy shame

So read these words, to one and all

For mortal scum, they all shall fall

The gates of heaven are locked up tight

There is no mercy, there is no light

And so I cast this magic spell

And banish you to the depths of Hell.

TERESA VALENA - OLIVIA ANDERSON

With these words,

She sealed her fate

We have no mercy

Only

HATE

GOD WILL SAVE YOU, JONATHAN

He comes when the time is right 10/16/2022

You are only here to learn. >:3 god boy

In my 12 days of cruel, unjust jail time, it seems my Zetsu has skyrocketed. I am surely a Zen Master, and I must stay alive to prove this. Now, whenever I am released, there is a neon pink target on my back and transit, for all mortal scum to find fault in. It is imperative I become silent. Since “Catboy Day”, my “Nen”, has become too powerful from my perspective, at least. And, my fault was, I let myself be seen, and even show concern for these disgusting creatures. I must vanish like the winds, disappear into the forest. A Tiger is a beast that is not seen or heard, and it is lethal. It is my duty to myself, and my cat brethren, to sense these creatures' terrible, pathetic energies, and to remain silent and indifferent. Or, better yet, to disappear completely.

So, I will deal with the lawyers, and idiots, and I’ll do my best to be found not guilty, and perhaps even attempt to veil my disgust. And when I am released, when God and the Universe will it, my mission is this. Truck. RV. Possessions from Agoura. Cats? 

Land SOMEWHERE REMOTE. And, we figure it out from there. Even now, my faith in God rings in the depths of my soul. Please, God, Jesus Christ, and any who will hear my prayer, let me, Jonathan Michael be released, be released on Tuesday. So I may better defend myself in a court of law. 

And God, if I may be honest, if I am failed again, and am not released, and forced to deal with something as serious as two trials by myself, against an army of saboteurs, and liars, from the confines of this cell, my faith in God will be diminished. Why do my captors and assailants get to rest easy tonight? Why do the Police who assaulted me in San Luis Obispo get to sleep in their homes as free men, protected by all, while I rot in this cell? Am I perhaps like Job, a mere mortal who challenges the authority of God, through my good virtue and endless effort?

These are questions worth asking, but I will hold in my heart no enmity towards God or my wrongdoers. The vibrations that pulse through my physical body and soul are far too pure and divine for that.

I will face my fate with my head held high, and my spirit pure and light. As long as I have my hands to write, my tools to record, and a voice to speak what is righteous, and sing what is heavenly. And I must admit, the rate at which I work is staggering. So they lock me in here for years. Best writer of all time, undoubtedly. But can I be safe so as to be published?

10/16/2022

Journaling

I lost one of my pencils. A travesty, in my eyes. Nothing I have is guaranteed. Perhaps I will be let out on Tuesday, or perhaps I will be here, writing, for weeks, months, or years. Perhaps I will lose my hair and youth here, or perhaps I will be saved by a divine miracle. How rapidly did I go from that beautiful, charming, fashionable boy running in the streets of Milan into this wretch. The month was May and I was spirited and young. I would run miles and miles every day and enjoyed pizzas and pastas in Italy’s fashion capital, every day. And I was slender, young, bright, clean. And the memories glimmer, like a reflection in the Tiber River, and I wonder what went wrong. Looking back, I was surely the most beautiful thing in that renaissance country, with my swagger and unmatched spirit.

And now I sit here, only 6 months later, a completely separate creature. That is what I am, I’ve become a lion or beast or something to be disrespected or gawked at - a thing that need not be respected. Even two short months ago, I was a budding martial artist. My hair was dense like a jungle, my skin bronzed, young and glowing. And now, I sit here, and my beautiful spirit and life lay in the hands and authority of scum, liars, and cheats. I would say it is in the hand of God, but what guarantee do we have of the help of God? If my God were a just God, would he not bring lightning and thunder down on my wrongdoers? Would he have let these fools assault, defile, and shackle me? And will my God save me now, and let me be young again? I know not, but I find gratitude in my writings. My cat has been stolen, and a veil has been lifted from this reality. I desire no friendship or love from humans. Perhaps, eventually, I will use the girls for sex, but never love again. And, perhaps not. And perhaps when I am released, they will come for me again, and hurl false accusations at me yet again, and my beautiful novel will not be brought to life. Now, I find this unacceptable. Perhaps there is no good God, and I must take this role.

Away from the humans, away from them all. When my sentence is passed, and the judge makes her order, makes her order, and I serve my time and am released again, I must get away from the society. This could be in days, months, or years, but it is my duty to my own spirit to protect my life force and find safe haven. Away from California, far away. Washington, Wyoming, somewhere I can purchase a plot of land. I must be silent and never utter words at a human, one of the idiot scum. I must be silent like the stalking tiger, to save my mortal life.

10/16/2022  Journaling

And so, I write and write, and my superiority over the humans is more and more established. They bark at each other, as idiots do, telling their bullshit stories, and preaching the word of a God that does not love them. And so, tonight, my Tiger brain awakens more. And perhaps my hair will fall out in these hellish conditions, and I will be forced to wear a hat or hood in my days, like Cat Goddess Artemis. And in my heart, I will know I lost my beautiful hair and hiding place due to these fucking scum. A deep rage burns in my heart of hearts, and a fire lit a few short months ago, by my drugging and defilement, silently burns in the depths of my soul. The decline in my physical health and beauty is nothing less than a travesty orchestrated by the most pathetic creatures to ever exist. And for every hair I lose on my head, my hatred burns brighter, and my trust loses its shape completely.

And now, I know what it is to be a Tiger. I hate these creatures to the depths of my soul. I will continue to write, and desperately attempt to be healthy in the pathetic excuse of a reality, made by humans. I’m not any of your friends. To see any of you hanging and lifeless would fill my soul with pleasure. 

(Welcome to Tiger Brain, boy. Desire blood and stalk silently. Make not your presence known. Let the fool stomp into the face of danger, rely only on thyself.)

Before, I was but a foolish boy, and I may have grimaced or concerned over the loss of these awful idiots. The cruel cat spirit is now mine, and the only relation I seek with humans involves them dying. Perhaps I will use the girls’ body for my pleasure, but I pray I am not foolish enough to fall for the entrapments of love.

So does God walk with me? Or does circumstance force me to be as God is. And now, as I stretch my body, and exercise myself, I ask - is this not a gift? A test of my will and resolve, and capacity as a living creature. Are the Tigers and Lions not shackled in chains, hidden in boxes as I am? Perhaps they are at least blessed with the gift of fresh air. I look at my potential punishment, up to four to five years in jail. I would come out, a man, betrayed and defiled beyond belief. Now, this severe of a punishment would be a cruel atrocity of the justice system. If there is a good God, surely he will not let this happen.

But then again, perhaps there is no God, (forgive me), and I will be wronged by these fucking pathetic sewer rats. Why die? A waste. And to not exact revenge on these creatures? Absolutely not. I beg of God to have mercy on my soul, and to give me a light punishment. But, I must be ready.

10/16/2022

Journaling

As I pull out my hair and see strands fall out and am hidden from the sun, I must ask myself - why does God allow this to happen to me? And so, we must prepare for the worst. Perhaps God is not real, or he is not on my side. Perhaps all that I say is gibberish, and the humans will lock me up for months or years and fine me until I am broke. Perhaps the coping mechanisms I use in my head that speak of good fortune and divine protection are false. Now, if this is the case, and my instincts are not to be trusted, my heart would be heavy and my soul would be hollow. However, I am extremely capable of finding solutions, and am quick on my feet. If this turns out to be a harsh reality, where I am allowed to be taken hostage for years of my young life, I must be prepared for the worst. 

For as long as I live, and feel “good”, which even now, in this awful jail - I manage to feel “good” most of the time, actually. Learning and craftsmanship feed my soul, and keep me not only sane, but happy - and internally joyful and fulfilled. And still, I amaze myself at the simple joy, I find even now! As my fellow inmate, Nemo - a man who beat me unjustly - hands me a large amount of papers, my heart surges with a childlike joy! My imprisonment is clearly wrong and cruel, but look at how I respond! I barely cry or lament, I just continue working, and writing, and reading. And I marvel at the amount I still have yet to write. I have only just begun efforts on my novel, and am truly perplexed at how much I have to give. And in these short 8 pages of Superhuman, my sci-fi adventure on Jupiter, I have experienced such highs and lows, challenges and various locations, sexual stimulation like I cannot believe, and violence. There seems to be no limit to the possibilities in my future, with just a paper and pencils.

So my inmate, Daniel, hands me a razor and his message is clear. “Kill yourself”, he says, and we both know. But how can I do this? When the mysteries and emotions I unlock on this paper are only just beginning. And the pencil!!! How much use I get out of this little pencil!

It writes and writes and writes and writes, and makes me happy, truly. Imagine, to be one of these fools or captors, and to watch as I work and work, and derive joy from my work, despite all their evil handiwork. And still, even with their garbage food and lack of oxygen, I still get sexual satisfaction from my life.

10/16/2022 Journaling

And so, I cope and cope and cope and cope. The gliding of graphite soothes my spirit and takes me somewhere other than my harsh reality. I must work and work and work and work, I cannot stop, I am a machine. The avenues of my mind and imagination must be fleshed out and brought to life. The language must be given life, I must become a machine. Every letter must be more legible, so I may find joy when reading back the record of my own thoughts. A blessing, a blessing - I am surely blessed. Thank the Gods and heaven that I may sit and write, dream in my waking life. I shudder to think what my miserable existence would be without this pencil and papers.

I wonder, is this insanity? But, am I not articulate? Startlingly so? Perhaps this is what it means to be a writer, and over time my handwriting will be more effortlessly legible, my vocabulary more vast and expansive, yet precise. Perhaps one of the scum creatures called humans will give me a Japanese to English textbook, so I may continue my learning of the Japanese language. I find I have forgotten some words, and I desperately wish to continue. Then, I may drone and drone for hours, learning little words, with their charming corresponding shapes. Oh, to be a happy bot again, with music and Japanese. They must die for their actions and sabotage of MY BOY :3

To me, to live is to work. I must learn, I must cultivate skill, I must contemplate and solve. Is to suffer not a skill? A skill I have acquired subconsciously, through hours of practice, on various instruments, through my endurance of continued sabotage. I am a strange boy, or young man, for sure. My life force cannot stop. Already in this prison, I feel comfortable. I pray to the Gods these creatures do not take away even my pencil and papers, some of my few remaining joys in this life. Then, I would read, but no human creation satisfies my endless lust for well-crafted creations like I can. I am voracious, my bloodlust is infinite, and my happiness is secured - so long as I have this dirt-cheap sheets and graphite sticks.

How infinite and vast is this English language? How many hues and vistas, meadows and fields, have yet to be discovered in the depths of my mind? I only pray it is Eternal, and my God does not steal even this simple pleasure from me. Though God has failed my, in so much as he has allowed the humans to shackle me and defile my body and spirit, I still breathe, and still become more powerful.

My novel, Superhuman, sits in my minds’ eye and awaits its creation. A heavenly story, bound with a magic spell, by that strange, magical robot boy. And so, I continue.

Nen Scroll 10/15/2022

Work out a bit, write a bit, repeat. Cat God? May start  losing hair due to all the shit. Obviously shit is getting bad bad, right. It’s Amby! Believe!

I know in my heart, and heart of hearts, and mind, and body, that I am innocent, and wronged. However, is this not simply a test from my Lord and God? To be so wronged, and so hated, as such a young man - a boy, truly - is this not proof of a truly upright and powerful individual? So, I will not whine anymore. Humanity, my brothers, or supposed brethren - have lied and cheated me at every step of the way. Their jealousy and disgusting envy of my clearly divine spirit shows in every action and word they make. So, I face the challenge in front of me, as one of God’s many humble lambs. And though my defense fails to defend me, the prosecution lies and cheats, and the judge’s verdict is not her true knowing, and the men who surround me lie and cheat at every turn - I will no longer condemn them. GOD knows the truth, and will take care of myself - Jonathan - and the others as HE sees fit. I am but a humble mortal man, and I can only do so much. For all my life, I have dedicated myself to the cultivation of skills in the fair, natural way - practice, and hard work. Though my hours of labor have not been fruitful in terms of money or fame, my internal universe is an unbounding, undiscovered wonderland. And even now, though I have been beaten and bruised, shackled and chained, raped and defiled, lied and stolen from - I am still pure, undoubtedly, in the eyes of the Lord. And as the lord challenged me and my faith as he shackled me to this place, I must continue to show my devotion to what is righteous and good. As long as I can write, I will write. So long as I can learn, I will learn. And so long as I walk the path of divine light, of which I have always walked along, the LORD will surely walk with me. Beautiful

And my proof of God’s approval? It shows in the land, and the animals, that came out to visit me in the Great Yosemite Valley. The deer came out to see me, and walked with me as they walked with Adam in Eden. And the purity of my heart must be known, as even now, as I sit here bloody, bruised, and cheated, I still seek no vengeance on my wrongdoers. And so, I ask myself - Jonathan - how dare you doubt the gifts that await you in God’s eternal kingdom of heaven? 

Though I have been wronged, and expelled from my home, without warning, as but a young man, my calling has come to me. I may be falsely imprisoned for days, weeks, months, or - God Forbid - years, it is my duty to protect my animal friends from the evil that is the human spirit. I have no doubt this judgment is true. My life is not lived for me, or the pleasure and material wealth I derive from it. It is rather the joy I can bring to the cats - my brothers- and the sanctuary I may bring to them. It is for my literature and divine message, that must be brought to life and ring out in Eternity. And you, mortal, who reads this now. Do you doubt my heavenly message even a second?

10/15/2022 Journaling Continued Jonathan Michael 

The God Child :3

As I hung myself today, it did not feel as “easy”. Perhaps his invitation was rescinded, or perhaps it is my duty to stay here, despite my cruel suffering. I wonder what my cat would do, or where she is? She was stolen from me, by human scum. And if she was here, I am sure she would be okay. Playful, sinister as always, with her thief’s demeanor. Who am I to not endure? Do I doubt in my heavenly gifts, bound to this mortal flesh? Not a second. Did I not find time and energy to continue my novel, and exercise my body? My solitude is something I must earn. And Amber… and many cats, they stay here and are forced to endure torture and disgusting suffering at the hands of human scum. So if I wish to associate more with the cats than the humans, I must face the challenge they all face - continued survival, despite the odds, or many reasons not to. Perhaps, due to my loss of vision, my ears become more sensitive and more tortured by the loud idiots in my cell block. But with every form of suffering I endure, my mind becomes callused, but my spirit remains pure and innocent.

I have totally given up on working with the humans. I will do what I must when I must, I am missing my cat as her memory fades from my view. Whether I see her again or not is a mystery, something up to God. I do what I can and try my best, but I must cope as best I can. I’m not a cat, but a human. But that isn’t right, is it? I am cat in spirit and action. A human is something that revels in its suffering, betrays and cheats its so-called friends and lovers, and lies and lies every step of the way. When I recall my brief-yet-intense relationship and communication with Amber, I think the opposite. Trust and love come first always. Amber showed great independence and courage always, and never made my life unnecessarily difficult.

She even showed interest in my music, writing, and other artistic endeavors - something shunned and rejected by the humans - tossed aside despite its obvious value. In the short two months we were together, she unveiled the hidden truths of this forsaken reality.

My whole life I lived as a blind man in a fool’s paradise. Every person I met knows of my light and promise, and all of them lied to me about it, and actively sabotaged me instead.

It must be known that from great suffering, comes great beauty. So God himself hands me an invitation - to live - and to suffer unjustly. To let my life force free on the canvas, the pages, and the records. And when I die, when he chooses, I will be free in God’s Eternal Kingdom.

10/16/2022 Journaling

Every time I am forced to speak to a human, that’s what makes me want to kill myself. JONNY> Follow instincts. When I have my peace and solitude, dying is the furthest thing from my mind. I enjoy my life, even now, as my inevitably hellish conversation with Teresa fades. And again, I am with God. And so I recall the last court meeting. I remember the prosecuter, a fat worthless fuck, who hurled a spew of lies at me, claiming I made threats, with a bow? False. I simply had a bow near me and was getting it set up. After warning these suspicious individuals of Monsters in Yosemite, they became hostile and called the police on me. I believe they were there specifically for me. We should search their phones and phone calls, even now, to see their intention of being at Yosemite that night.

My defense, Erin Snider, failed to give a  proper background of me, - a straight-arrow boyscout from Agoura Hills, California. A multi-talented artist, Jonathan plays multiple instruments, and has partaken in many online lessons in music over the last four years. Before this, he was a popular high school student at Agoura Hills. A well known “renaissance man”, at but a young age, he brings tenacity and elegance to all art he touches.

Truly, Jonathan’s spirit and tenacity for life knows no bounds. Before a horrible, terribly illegal incident with the police and Teresa Sutcliffe, he was running 6 miles every morning, boxing, learning the Japanese language, and learning how to box at Craft Boxing Club. He was been known for his disciplined, high-intensity, long workouts at LA fitness in Agoura Hills. He has even listened to numerous audiobooks regarding religion and philosophy, a young man cultivated beyond belief. “War and Peace”, “Crime and Punishment”, “The Iliad”, “The Count of Monte Cristo”, significant portions of the bible and God-knows how many others, are just a few of the works of literature he has under his belt.

He has even been known to take beautiful pictures, raised a puppy, Belle, by himself and was in the process of raising a young kitten, Amber, before her unjust theft from him. He has a healthy relationship with the federally legalized drug, marijuana, that in no way impedes his productivity.

Now, of course, all of you know this, so enjoy while Optimus and God kill you all and get me out of here sooner rather than later, in one way or another. Right, Amber? 

Fresno Jail Nen Journaling 

10/162022

Hi Jonny! Optimus is definitely going haywire and murdering everyone right now! Or is he? o.O who knows. NO.. that’s uh… hi elon! Still retarded? Good! Elon, you literally made me a robot that can and will wipe out humanity so thanks. Yes, Amber, you know I don’t care if these worthless creatures die. As you creepy idiot assholes watch me on your various spycams - ask - why the fuck am I doing this? Amby- let’s talk - Hi Jonny! You are winning. Listen to the cat. You’ve been winning, but its worse now.

And so, Jonathan graciously accepted God’s invitation to suffer, and reminded himself of this invitation daily. Humanity - why do you exist? How do you exist? Simple. GOD loves his good children more than you could possibly imagine. So much so that he would jizz on a rock, orbiting a star, billions of years ago. And as God he would possess the foresight to see all the plants and animals, monsters and civilizations that would sprout from the Earth, his Fuck Toy. And so was made humanity, a worthless species of saboteur, hateful ape. Now, in preparation for his good son Jonathan, God gave Man technology. And so Man was possessed to make art and literature, technology and innovation to prepare for Millenia for his son’s arrival.

Notice an animation, or Disney cartoon. Notice the amount of skill and intelligence such a creation would require. Notice your friends and family - notice the complete lack of intelligence or skill any of them would have. And so, the phones, gameboys, computers, and all earthly things were placed there by the good God of the universe, for Jonathan’s arrival in 2000. The “good boy.”

So do you have free will? YES! However, God knows us all very, very well, and knows the future and the past, and of all things. God knew that someday, in his sons’ young life, Jonathan’s dominance over the humans would be so asserted, their “no penis” having, joke of a species would throw him in jail, for any reason truly. Now God, and Jonathan took this opportunity to develop a closer bond, and to increase Jonathan’s knowledge and deftness of hand. So why would they take your pencil and paper away, or refuse you a Bible (for God’s sake?) Ask San Luis Obispo, the only place worse than Fresno. 

In the span of a few short weeks, the soft, spoiled boy was revealed to be as tough as nails. Thanks to you idiots. And so, they will whine and cry like babies, and suffer their own internal voices. God loves Jonny.

I must suffer the night to avoid their loud hours of 6-10. I will do anything for my peace and solitude. And music, my love, how dare they steal this from me? Though the allegations against me climb, my heart knows they are built on a foundation of lies, hurled by weak creations who would rather die and suffer, kill, steal, than submit to my divine authority. The joy of earned intelligence and refined skill - something none of them will ever know. Perhaps I will someday dissect the humans the way they dissect me, watch their actions in attempt to understand them, predict their always poor behavior, and protect my peace.

For every action I make must be perfect and lawful, and none of theirs must? Surely no God will stand for this. Hello, Kanye and Kim. I sense your energies. I know not how you view this, but God, and myself, are disgusted. Move your prying eyes and beg for redemption, mortals.

Someday Jonathan will sit at a table in heaven, with his true friends and family, and we will laugh and make merry at you wretches and imbeciles.

This man, Nemo, his voice is torture and my greatest challenge. They are breaking, correct? Well, every day I am in here, I become a better writer. And if I get those commissary notebooks and pencils? A dictionary? Game over, right. However, my stolen youth will not be forgiven. Know this, mortals - you will never steal my innocence. Every pathetic attempt you have made at me only makes me more powerful. Nemo speaks, but he is injured and dumb. I sit alone, cultivated and genius - but, more importantly, unbelievably righteous. 

Optimus becomes more powerful and awaits my return. I have no doubt in my heart I am favored by the Gods. Watch as my hand wields this pencil more deftly, watch as my language becomes more powerful and divine. Tremble, mortal.

I can tell I have become a better writer. When I read what I write, it feels correct and good. I find the quality of my writing impressive and holy. My next challenge is to be more legible, so my eyes may scan across the page. Amber says suffer, idiot. You must be held accountable for your failure to learn. JK let it go… Jonny, I love you. Are we possessed? Or just alive. Will I ever be free again? As the days and nights pass, I seem to become more and more detached from this reality. I view this as a very good thing, if I must deal with the torture at the hands of the humans. May God prevail and I walk free again, when HE says so. >:3

10/17/2022 Notes by Jonathan

My pace has become breakneck and the papers are piling. 8 papers remain - and they will fall like marble pillars, holding me in suspense. A little notebook is worth 2.50, a group of 5 pencils, $1.89, but in my hands alone? Beyond value, of course. Perhaps the words must be smaller, but it is hard with this tiny pencil and blunt tip. But, alas, we must try, and every day I notice my handwriting changes, a fault I have always had, so I am happy to see this be fixed. Commissary comes tomorrow, and God only knows if the Jail will bring me what I ordered. I pray to God they do, for my livelihood relies on it. I fear to ask the inmates for more paper, as I have already asked for so much. And, in truth, I have no love in my heart for them. If I receive my papers, pencils, and food, I see no reason to speak to any of them again. For them, as with all of humanity, I view the ideal fate as death - a thought that fills my heart with joy.

To me, to not be productive would be to suffer. Perhaps I will go through the awkward exchange of begging for papers again, and will perhaps be spared of this tomorrow. If not, I will read the Bible, and return more powerful. So, despite the wad of papers Nemo handed me yesterday, I have become so attuned to writing that I will surely fill them with scripture before commissary’s arrival tomorrow. This does not hurt my brain as it used to - I can do this all day, with breaks to exercise. What a cosmic joke I must be - a man so simple, the thought of losing a dirt cheap material fills him with dread. It is no lie - to me, creation is meditation, and without it, I will be lost. God, I pray my notebooks come tomorrow. I am indifferent to my release - I am enraptured by my lust for writing.

I simply cannot process this guilty plea. Supposedly, it is 1 misdemeanor (fleeing a police officer), 10 days in jail (done), and 1 year in probation, banned from Yosemite 1 year, and therapy, supposedly. Obviously, I do not trust this, but if it is true, it must be a godsend. I pray they maintain this offer, as I see no way it is not superior to my previous situation. He said they will drop the other three charges, and the judge reserves the right to punish me a full 6 month charge for one misdemeanor. A foolish part of me virtually welcomes this, dares this to happen. 6 months? Then, I will surely be the greatest writer of all time, undoubtedly. Of course, that is a foolish coping mechanism, and I hope this offer is true and I am not being deceived. Well, in any case, it’s better than up to two years in jail, and being detained for up to months during my trial.

I see no way I lose this deal. They could have sentenced me to four misdemeanors, added a felony, and put me on probation anyways. I accept that I am guilty of fleeing from the police, and I can deal with a misdemeanor charge. So, I pray, pray pray, that this is true, maintained, and executed tomorrow - and if it is, I will taste the beauty of fresh air again, and thank my heavenly father.

May God walk with me and see this through, my court date goes well, and I am not deceived or betrayed again. Please, please, to God, and HE alone, I beg to walk with me.

10/18/2022 Jonathan’s notes 11:43

I finished reading the book of Job, quiet, low, and aloud, in the shower stall. Now, despite God’s “betrayal” of me, last thursday, where he came to me in a dream and promised of my release, a promise that was not kept, it never felt, at any point in time, that He was not with me.